Eliana's Story part 3

We're happy to share a guest post by our friend Eliana and her breastfeeding experience. The story of the breastfeeding journey she and her son went on will be shared here in parts. We have already brought you part 1 and part 2, today we conclude this portion of her story with part three. It is our hope that some time in the future, Eliana will be back to tell us more as her journey continues.

After reflux, and reactions we didn't understand or know about at the time, my son was put on Alimentum at 2 months old. And this is when my medical issues became the big problem.

Bleeding after birth, whether vaginal or c-section, is common, and often lasts up to 6 weeks after birth. Mine never went away that early. Apparently this little piece of placenta kept open a spot in my uterine wall. So I didn't stop bleeding at 6 weeks.

The dr gave me some medication (hormones), where if I had been nursing, I would have to pump and dump anyway. So it was a blessing that my son was on formula by this point. These hormones were supposed help stop the bleeding. I was on them for a couple weeks, but it didn't change anything.

I still hadn't passed the placental piece by 3 months after birth, so my OB started to explore what was going on. A biopsy revealed that I had 2 uterine infections in the 3 months after birth. It didn't show why I was bleeding, but the infections could have been from the birth or the placental piece they were missing. My dr gave me antibiotics, just in case that was causing the bleeding, but that didn't stop it either.

My doctor decided to perform a D&C to remove whatever was causing the problem. If the D&C didn't fix it, I would have been at risk for a hysterectomy. Apparently, however, this scared the placenta out of me because 4 days before my surgery, I finally passed it. We still went ahead with the D&C, just to make sure but the bleeding had already basically stopped by that time.

The most difficult part for me by this point was that my milk seemed like it had dried up, also. By the time that I had my D&C, I couldn't squeeze a drop out. They say that you shouldn't do this, but I had to try. It was actually VERY painful to even try, and I just felt like my body had failed me. I had no recovery time from the birth, because of all the issues we had following it.

After the D&C, I began to leak like never before. Suddenly, my sheets and nightclothes were soaked. I even felt like I went through a second round of “baby blues.” Still no engorgement, but more milk then I ever made before. No one had prepared me for all this. I knew the placenta controlled a lot of things, but I had no idea that every post-partum issue would come back.

If I had been in contact with a lactation consultant, they might have suggested that I nurse again. If my OB had known what was going to happen, they might have supported me in my nursing efforts more than they did in reality. If I had known that I was going to start producing milk again, I might have pumped and dumped for those middle 2 months.

But without the support and the knowledge that I needed, my husband and I decided the best course was just to continue to feed our son formula. It is a good thing, but we only know this is hindsight. With his reactions, reflux, and my placental issues, I did the best I could without much support regarding nursing.

I honestly have no idea whether the 2 months that I was able to nurse him helped him or did nothing for his reactions. But I do know that I gave him the best that I could at the time, and since. There is nothing wrong with nursing for only 2 months; there is nothing wrong with baby-wearing to stop baby from screaming; there is nothing wrong with not figuring out cloth-diapering before baby came along; there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping or having baby sleep in a crib. When my husband and I decide to have another one, which may be awhile considering everything we have gone through this time around, I might try all this again from the get-go.

But I will not be afraid to co-sleep, or baby-wear, or maybe even cloth-diaper. I will not be afraid to ask for a consult with a lactation expert. And I will not be afraid of formula.

After all, “successful breastfeeding does NOT mean EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding.”

Photo courtesy of Idils' on Flickr.

A Little Let-down.

Alright Boobies, we've got to have a talk.

First of all, let me start off by saying you are awesome. Totally amazing. I'm impressed and really consider myself super blessed that, though you are of modest proportions, you can totally provide all the food Smunchie needs right now. Not to mention the 4 babies before her. And it's not just any food. It's super food! The acai berry thing advertised all over the place doesn't hold a candle to the goodness you provide. Plus there will be no "it's not as great as we thought" scandal happening about your goods. Nope, you are the real thing. You rock! No really, sometimes you are a pair of rocks. But figuratively, you rock too.

However, there are few aspects of your awesomeness that we need to work on.

• Not all babies are your babies. It is sweet really, that you want to be sure every baby you come into contact with isn't going to go hungry, really it is. But other babies have mommies and I'm sure they are feeding them. So it's not your job. No need to be "all systems go!" upon spotting a little person under the age of one year old. You need to calm down.

• Crying does not need to be an automatic on switch! I get it. It is a design thing. Baby cries and you start leaking, an instant response to the call for food. I wish chocolate would dispense like that for me but alas, that would probably be a bad thing. Coffee probably should do that for me. You don't have to do this. Not all crying means "feed me!" And not all cries come from your baby. For real. This can stop. Our baby has gotten quite good at getting the milk out of you now, you don't have to go soaking through my shirt in an attempt to silence all cries.

• You are highly suggestible. Words like "leak," "leaky," "breastmilk," "nursing," etc. do not mean "faucet. on. now." Aaaaaaaaaaaand, somebody looking at you is not another signal for you to get to work. I know, I know, sometimes people look even when you're covered and put away and while I find it a little confusing myself, it is most likely just curiosity. Though I have to admit your size is significantly more noticeable in your current lactating state than we normally have. But not everyone who checks you out is looking for a free instant meal! In fact, most would be rather grossed out if I offered. So please stop that.

• This last one is a little, well, intimate. I'm thrilled that you still enjoy the whole "other side" of your potential. That you can understand being both a feeding machine and sex goddess is really awesome. Thank you for still being willing to have fun. There's just one request I have regarding that. If I'm going to get to have sex without a bra on you have got to stop spraying all over the place just when it gets really good! Oh my gosh! Girlfriends, that is... so... freaking... annoying. I understand your excitement, good grief I'm excited too but in that time and place, in that exact moment, your contribution is really to just be there, feel good and look pretty. Showering your contents all over actually puts a damper on the moment. I don't let it slow me down but I notice and it does distract me. Fortunately, for you and me, The Piano Man and I don't let you rain on our parade and we still have, er, fun. Though I guess you do... rain on our parade. Maybe it would be better to say we let the parade go on anyway.

Overall, I think you're great. In fact, you have taught me a lot and far exceeded my expectations. I'm proud of you. You can do amazing things like feed babies, have fun, shoot milk across the room, and more. There are just a few things that if you could work on, I'd really appreciate. Thanks for listening and being so awesome. We're all good. So, yeah, thanks for everything. Love ya babes.

Eliana's Story part 2

We're happy to share a guest post by our friend Eliana and her breastfeeding experience. The story of the breastfeeding journey she and her son went on will be shared her in parts. Yesterday we brought you part 1, today we continue her story with part two.

My son latched like a pro, like he had nursed for years already. And I was so proud that I was the only one able to give this gift to my son. I glowed in a way that I hadn't while pregnant. I tried to be discreet about my nursing, leaving a room at feeding time, or trying to cover up as much as possible, although my son had different plans about that. But the thrill of helping my son survive and being the only one was amazing. I had never felt a bond like that before.

I started to notice problems almost as soon as I got home from the hospital. I had heard that engorgement was REALLY painful, for some women, even worse than labor. Although my boobs grew several sizes, I never felt like I was going to pop. I read all the symptoms for it and all the solutions to help, but after a couple weeks, I still hadn't had the feeling and so thought maybe I was one of the lucky ones that didn't have to deal with it.

Then my son's reflux started. He is a silent reflux-er, and it can be disturbing to hear the reflux moving up but nothing coming out. He really never spit up (doctors had trouble believing this). But from his gas and the sounds from his belly, you could tell that he was in pain. Honestly, even now at 2 years old, his normal cry typically has a slight pain side to it. He just seems like he has always been in pain in some way.

I tried changing my diet to a certain degree. I tried to remove dairy for a few days, although that did nothing. I tried to avoid gassy foods, like broccoli and sauerkraut, but bread seemed to give him gas. We used Mylicon drops and Gripe Water, but each of those only lasted so long. It didn't stop the way he screamed, and it didn't stop the gurgling in his belly.

Then I entered my nursing nightmare and the end of my breastfeeding dream.

I honestly was so sleep deprived by this time that I can't tell you how exactly it began. I know that it was somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks. But one Wednesday, my son decided that he wanted to nurse every half hour around the clock. For two. Days. Straight. He would sip (maybe get an ounce), fall asleep while eating, sleep for only 30 minutes, wake up SCREAMING, sip again, and the cycle continued. FOR 2 DAYS STRAIGHT.

I finally took him to the pediatrician Friday. I was basically told that it was simple colic and would go away on it own about 3 months. Again so much for fantasy. But my “mommy gut” told me that wasn't all there was. I KNEW there was more than just colic. Colic comes and goes, gets worse at night, isn't helped by feedings, etc. Reflux is pain, pain you can hear from the outside, screaming for days on end. With colic, you have moments of time where you can enjoy your new little baby, the coos, the smiles, the little fingers wrapped around your finger. Reflux steals all that from you.

Everything that I had read and heard told me my poor baby had reflux, and so I BEGGED for some Zantac for my son. We started it that Friday, although with some formula (I needed to sleep), and he was a new baby by Sunday.

My husband and I decided to stick with the formula for a few weeks, and that I could try to pump as much as possible. Well, my pumping was a miserable failure; even though I tried for several weeks, I never got more than an ounce out. So I just figured it was either formula or nursing for us. That was okay since “successful breastfeeding isn't EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding.”

Then my son had a constipation problem and we had to take him to the ER. We didn't realize that his constipation would turn into a bigger issue as he got older. It turned out that his constipation was due to an allergy or reaction* he had, that was even present in his formula: cow's milk. I had no idea, however, that he reacting* to so many other things as well. At this point in time, his formula was then switched to the highly expensive Similac Alimentum. We didn't discover all of his reactions* until he was 18 months old, after a full year of random hives and ongoing bowel issues.

And this is when my medical issues became the big problem.

To be continued...

*I use the terms “allergy” or “reaction” to describe IgG-mediated immune reactions. The typical itchy eyes, runny nose, cough, throat closing reactions are caused by IgE-mediated reactions. The reactions my son has are mostly gastrointestinal reactions, like abdominal pain, reflux, constipation, and diarrhea. The testing for these reactions are not FDA-approved or even accepted by all allergy communities.

Do we need a gang sign?

How do you respond to a woman breastfeeding her baby in public? If you scowl or offer to show the woman the bathroom, you should probably go find another blog to read, you're likely to get squirted around here. Smile? Nod? Ignore? Secretly keep glancing over in amazement? Grab your baby and nurse to keep her company? Go over and say something? Wave?

Do we need a universal sign of approval for breastfeeding in public? Rebecca on Public Health Doula shares an idea for a breastfeeding support gang sign here. Would you do or use this? Milks Up?

Eliana's Story

We're happy to share a guest post by our friend Eliana and her breastfeeding experience. The story of the breastfeeding journey she and her son went on will be shared her in parts. Today we bring you part one.

I am not your typical home-birthing, baby-wearing, cloth-diapering, co-sleeping, all organic, nursing-until-baby-weans momma. I applaud and admire the mommies out there that are. But it honestly isn't me. I wore my son in a Snugli under duress: he actually stopped crying if I did, and started crying if I put him down. Same thing with co-sleeping: after 4 months of killing my back on our couch, I told my dear, sweet husband that I didn't care if he didn't want to co-sleep; I NEEDED SLEEP! I didn't cloth-diaper because, by the time I finally figured out how much money it would save me, it wouldn't save me any money any longer and my sanity would also have suffered (I just can't do that much laundry). Eating or feeding my son organic would probably have cost me my sanity, my finances, and finally my marriage, the third due to the loss of the first two. And I honestly don't think I could have delivered a breech baby at home, although I have heard of several women that have.

Don't get me wrong. I really do applaud and admire the women who choose to do all these things. But in keeping with the “it just isn't me,” I was totally fine with breastfeeding and supplementing with formula. In fact, my boobs to me were more fun and show than functional. I totally loved the mantra “successful breastfeeding isn't EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding.” Especially since Dad could do a few of those middle-of-the-night feedings and I could sleep.

Before my son was born, I had no idea HOW I would supplement with formula. I just had grandiose ideas that at about 4 months, my son would happily go from boob to bottle without any issue. Well, maybe by 2 months; my imagination had him sleeping through the night at 4 months (which he didn't do until 18 months, btw).

All that being said, before my son was born, I had determined I would give breastfeeding a shot, a chance. Women in my family just hadn't nursed much, if at all, and so I had very little family support (my great-grandmother apparently said that “women in our family don't make good cows”). Formula was the way that many kids survived. My husband and I were part of that; neither of our mothers were able to nurse (my mother had a little experience with it being able to nurse my older brother, but that, too, was short-lived). So I wanted to give nursing a try. Just a try.

When I heard my son's first cry, or held him for the first time, however, I determined that we would succeed at breastfeeding. The health benefits for him and me just couldn't be beat, and I was hoping that all those warm, fuzzy nursing feelings would help me bond with my little one. Also, I was scared into not supplementing with formula from the nurses, until at least 4 months. So much for the sleeping through the night fantasy!

What I didn't know, when I held my son and made this pact, was what was going on in my body. Even though I had a C-section and they (forcibly) removed the placenta, somehow they missed a piece. I had no idea that I had retained about a 2 inch piece of placenta in my uterus. So even though my body understood that I had delivered my son, it didn't stop sending blood and nutrients to my uterus, totally bypassing my boobs.

Sweet Sunday Slurp- Dear Auntie

Today's Sunday Slurp is a beautiful submission by Smantha and is a touching story of cross nursing three infants between relatives.

Well I ended up having the absolute pleasure of breast feeding twin girls. Long nights of football holds and tiredness. Mind you it was a very fun experience especially when I got to share breast feeding. My little nephew was born two weeks before my girls were so for an idea, my sister-in-law and I both were breast feeding at the time and decided to help each other out. When ever she needed a nap I would take over his feeding times and feed my girls at the same time! When I needed to do something or go for a nap or just relax she would take over my girls feedings as well. It was some experience that I will never forget and always appreciate, as I'm sure my sis in law would to. Hope to hear back from others who have co-breast fed before!!

If you are interested in making a submission to be considered for Sunday Slurp, please leave a comment here or on our Facebook fan page. We're looking for short, sweet nursing stories every week.

Milk Darts

We've decided to extend this contest. If you're a lactating woman, give it a squirt!