The Leaky B@@b

It's Been Great But TLB is Moving On

2011-01-06T20:14:00.001-06:00

Blogger and I have had a long and beautiful friendship, after my days bogging in Xanga, blogger was like a breath of fresh air. It's been great but I'm moving on. I've finally made the jump and from now on will be using theleakyboob.com for all my blog posts moving forward. It's still under construction and I am excited about some of the plans for the website. All the posts from here have been moved to the website so you can still find all your favorite old posts. This has been in the works for some time now and I'd been planning to move it for the New Year. Excited it's finally happening and I owe a huge thank you to Chuck and Sheri from Road Trips For Families for helping me make the move and dealing with my complete ineptitude with all things technical. Please bookmark the new site, subscribe to the feedburner or google reader and visit the website often.

Thank you!

Jessica

The Email From Facebook

2011-01-03T09:34:00.000-06:00

"Your Page "The Leaky B@@b" has been removed for violating our Terms of Use. A Facebook Page is a distinct presence used solely for business or promotional purposes. Among other things, Pages that are hateful, threatening, or obscene are not allowed. We also take down Pages that attack an individual or group, or that are set up by an unauthorized individual. If your Page was removed for any of the above reasons, it will not be reinstated. Continued misuse of Facebook's features could result in the permanent loss of your account."

Well, that clears everything right up, doesn't it?

Why TLB on Facebook and What You Can Do To Help

2011-01-03T07:01:00.009-06:00

Better late than never. I'm hoping this is true because I'm showing up late to my own party. After my little fairytale land came crashing down I had to stay and be active in the real world, the one where I'm mommy, wife, daughter-in-law, cradle, food, cook, etc. The plans for the day would go on and online drama would have to wait for later.

I've been grateful that for quite a while now The Leaky Boob Facebook page has been flying safely under the radar. Not getting attention was a good thing, it helped keep TLB a safe place, a place where the community of "Leakies" as we called ourselves was free to carry on encouraging and supporting breastfeeding. Rarely did I worry about something happening to our page. If something did happen we already had created The Leaky Boob Forums as a protected space for conversation and sharing photos without fear of them being deleted. It wasn't that I was unaware that Facebook deleted breastfeeding photos and whole accounts over breastfeeding images, I just hoped that we were a quiet enough group that nobody would notice or have any reason to cause trouble.

People don't always have to have a reason. Or at least, not one I can understand.

It has been pointed out a few times that Facebook can't be trusted as a safe place for forum type communities and with good reason, they can indeed delete things all willy-nilly and without warning. Which is exactly what happened. So why build a community on Facebook when we risk having it all taken away?

Simply put: because the community built itself. Though we created the space for protected forums they didn't grow at the rate the Facebook community did. The culture founded itself on Facebook and there were many reasons for it to continue there in spite of the precarious nature of the site. Facebook is easy to use. The simple layout made skimming for new posts a cinch. The accessibility to the site from mobile devices such as phones and iPods allowed people that didn't have regular access to a computer access to the community. The ability to visit the page without going to another website or dealing with additional log-in helped it stay fast-paced and casual. Posts being updated in newsfeeds permitted followers to stay in touch without constantly having to keep up with multiple posts.

My plans for TLB were simple from the beginning: support breastfeeding women and the people that support them. Have fun. Be real. Communicate respectfully. Share information. Swap stories. Encourage moms and families. Tolerance. As long as I felt those things were happening I didn't see a need to change much.

But one of the biggest reasons we stayed on Facebook was that I couldn't have moved it if I wanted to. The Leakies were settled and happy. I loved knowing that right there in the middle of a mainstream social networking site was growing a community of breastfeeding supporters. Better yet, this helped connect moms of all styles, be they crunchy, mainstream, attachment-parents, traditional, homeschoolers, public-schoolers, Christian, Pagan, Atheist, European, SAHM, WOHM, old, young, first-time, seventh-time, currently lactating, hasn't lactated in 25 years, not-yet-a-mom, single, married, and on and on around one common piece of parenting: breastfeeding. People that would have never joined a breastfeeding forum could easily "like" a Facebook page and find out that breastfeeding wasn't just for "crazy hippie types" or just for "stay-at-home-moms" or just for the type-A "have it all together types" or just for whatever type they thought excluded them. Moms that would have been intimidated in many settings to say "I only want to breastfeed for 6 weeks" could read through posts without ever having to sign-up or create an account. Unfolding conversations invited participants and lurkers alike to experience the normal ups and downs, funny and sad, tender and strange moments of breastfeeding. To see breastfeeding as normal.

It is for all those reasons that I think it's worth getting the original The Leaky Boob page back on Facebook. Sure, it's risky and there's a chance we'll experience trouble again. So what. I've had mastitis twice in the last 4 months, I'm still breastfeeding. Because it's totally worth it. To me this is worth it too. Reaching and encouraging moms right where they are.

What can you do? Plenty.

Join the petition. For starters you can join the Bring Back The Leaky Boob Facebook page and you can share it with all your friends and then some. In less than 24 hours it grew to over 5,000 "likes" and there is strength in numbers. Information will be shared in real time on that page so please be sure to follow what's going on there.

Let Mark Zuckerberg know. I have no idea if this will make any difference at all but reading the comments on Mark Zuckerberg's fan page, all 281 of them, are so encouraging. Leave one if you'd like, if nothing else it's just another place where we say we want TLB back and why.

Blog about it. Posts started rolling out early in support of The Leaky Boob and protesting Facebook's removal of our page. Long before I got around to writing anything and while I was eating ginger chicken with the family the blog world was buzzing with the news. I'm hoping to read each and every post too. At the end of this post will be a list of blog posts related to the removal of The Leaky Boob's Facebook page. Check them out and thank the writers for the Leaky support.

Email. Respectful emails to Facebook to let them know you would like to see The Leaky Boob Facebook page brought back. Please take time to craft your emails with respect. Angry or hateful messages with name-calling are easily dismissed. Level-headed, calm but persistent messages are harder to ignore. Let's show breastfeeding moms and breastfeeding supporters as a collected, educated group and blow apart the stereotype of hormonal outraged women. (Even if that's how you feel.) You can try the Facebook help center though I've had little success through that avenue. The new email address for appeals has already gotten me a response and you can try any of these as well with @fb.com: info, disabled, appeals, privacy, abuse, warning, customerservice. Huge thanks to Star for finding those addresses.

Continue supporting breastfeeding. There are lots of pages on Facebook and people on Twitter that support breastfeeding, encouraging and educating on the subject. Let's not forget the real mission, encouraging breastfeeding moms whether they breastfeed for a week, a month, a year or 3 years. What really makes a difference is support; a breastfeeding mom with a community behind her is a breastfeeding mom with a future success story no matter how it turns out. People are posting on the Bring Back The Leaky Boob page looking for BFing help as well as on TLB Support. Best for Babes, Nursing Freedom, Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths, Nurture Child, Blacktating Blog, TLB sponsors PumpEase, Motherlove Herbal, The Shower Hug, and lots, lots, lots more. And support in real life ways too, support groups, mom-to-mom and by breastfeeding in public if your lactating and comfortable with NIP (Nursing In Public) and if you're not then giving an encouraging smile to any mom you do happen to see NIP.

Media. This isn't the first time Facebook has deleted breastfeeding related pages and accounts. They've done it before. Yet they leave plenty of other pages that have been flagged and reported for being truly obscene. So what's the deal? If you want to know maybe it's time we take it to the media, maybe they can help us get some answers. When Guggie Daly's account was removed for allegedly violating the TOS with breastfeeding photos the media got wind of it and held Facebook accountable. Guggies account was reinstated shortly after. And when Kate Hansen and Emma Kwasnica had their accounts deleted in separate incidents Facebook reactivated their accounts when the press started poking around. They even claim it happens on accident. Anyone else have one eyebrow involuntarily shoot up at that suggestion? What gives? How do they keep accidentally deleting accounts related to breastfeeding? And will they ever learn? You can call or email your local media outlets and let them know that it appears Facebook is discriminating against women, specifically breastfeeding moms.

Comment and share. Asking for comments makes me uncomfortable but having the interaction in an easier to find place such as the blog is helpful, particularly right now. It would be great to point to the blog and show the support present in the comments. Whether it is on this or other posts, it would mean a lot to me if you showed your support by leaving comments relating to the post you comment on. Then share any posts from here on the blog that speak to you in some way. Old or new, spread the word as a demonstration of our community being alive and well. Let's get the words The Leaky Boob all over Facebook in a way they can't just hide with a click of a button. And twitter too. Which reminds me, you can find me tweeting at TheLeakyBoob.

Breastfeed. I don't yet have links to share but you can find information on the Bring Back The Leaky Boob page. If you're a breastfeeding mom and would feel empowered by joining other women in a nurse-in, there are some being organized. Be looking for details and I'll share what I know when I know it.

Read and share the articles. Check out the posts here and the blogs listed below. Read and comment and then share those links on Facebook, Twitter, the forums you frequent, etc. Traffic, comments, and pure volume helps get attention and social pressure is really all we have to help make some change.

Thank you for all the support. The Leaky Boob has made a difference for many women by having a presence on Facebook. Even if we made a difference for just one woman I would still fight to be there.

List of blogs that have written about TLB and Facebook. This list will be added to and updated, it is a work in progress. If you would like to add your blog to this list please post in the comments below. Thank you!

Hey, hey, ho, ho... Why Facebook (might) have to go... by Car StarRod
Facebook's Contribution to the Declining Health of Society by Nurtured Child
Facebook Deletes Leaky Boob Support Group for Breastfeeding Moms by Dagmar Bleasdale
Breastfeeding Is About As Sexy As Eating A Salad by Confessions of an Earthy Young Mom
My Leaky Heart by Confessions of an Earthy Young Mom
Breastfeeding: A crime punishable by social ostracism... you decide! by Prolixity2
Bring Back The Leaky Boob by Attached At the Nip (isn't that a clever name?!)
Really Facebook? by Adventures in Mommyhood (great minds think alike, I was thinking this same title for a bit)
Boobtastic Media Storm by Michelle Tant
Monday Giveaway Awesomeness by Not Just Mom
Facebook and Twisted Sensibilities by Village Wise Woman
Breastfeeding Support Under Attack by Mummies Nummies
Help The Leaky Boob by MommaKt
Dude, Where's My Leaky B@@b? by Rockin' Momma
Why Does Facebook Hate Breastfeeding by Embrace The Chaos, MSNca Lifestyle
Bring Back The Leaky B@@b by The Good Letdown
Facebook Deletes Breastfeeding Support Group 'The Leaky B@@b' by Christie Haskell at The Stir

Thanks to all you fantastic bloggers for your support. I am honored to be a part of such a large, global community that supports women and families.

Leaky Strong- A Fairytale

2011-01-02T23:37:00.003-06:00

Once upon a time there was a quiet but active little community of like-minded people. That weren't all exactly alike and they didn't agree on everything but at their core they were all united. This community worked hard to keep things encouraging, supportive and safe for all. Family minded, the people loved to share stories and pictures of their children growing strong and celebrated even the smallest victory together. They had a pretty good funny bone and loved laughter but were always honest about the challenges and struggles they faced. If someone needed to cry they could always find a caring shoulder and a fresh hankie. It was tight knit but welcoming to newcomers. As long as everyone could abide by the agreed upon guidelines of respectful dialogue, friendly encouragement, no name-calling or belittling, and give kind, honest support this peaceful community would flourish as a safe haven for many. Occasionally they would be set upon by trolls, mean creatures that liked to taunt and mock the citizens of the community by poking sticks at them but they were usually ignored and when bored they'd move on to another community to heckle. Occasionally the community would attract wolves with an evil glint in their eyes, stalking their victims seeking tastes of something forbidden but the people would rally and banish the wolves restoring safety to the land. And so it was the community was safe, cherished and loved by many, growing in number and wisdom.

Until one morning they woke up and the lord of the land totally wiped out the entire structure of the community. It was gone. At first confused and hurt the scattered members searched for their beloved space but alas, it seemed to have vanished.

Sound like a fairytale? It very nearly is.

This morning I woke to what I knew would be a very busy day with my father-in-law visiting, lunch out and tentative plans for a family outing. Planning on going to church I got breakfast rolling, kids dressed, jumped in the shower, changed a diaper of epic proportions and managed to get out of my bathrobe and fairly decently dressed all before sitting to breastfeed Smunchie for the morning. I noticed a text on my phone and after settling in to nurse and check Facebook, Twitter and emails I opened the text. Distracted by the fact that The Leaky Boob Facebook page wouldn't load but kept directing me to my newsfeed I clicked my profile and checked the text from The Piano Man. I puzzled at his text "OMG!!! TLB facebook!" before a sinking feeling hit me. Looking at my profile there was a post from a regular Leaky (what we call the TLB Facebook "likers") asking where the page was. Just below that post was one from Jessi, the girl that had originally helped me set-up The Leaky Boob Facebook page: "eep, looks like someone reported TLB. I just got a message it was removed for violation of TOS." Just to be sure I tried to get there 1 more time. Nothing.

Facebook messages, emails, Twitter and TLB forum posts had already begun pouring in before I was even up for the day it turns out. From around the world Leakies started rallying. As one put it "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and Facebook just scorned close to 5,000 not to mention all those that will catch wind of this that weren't already a part of The Leaky Boob.

I'm not going to lie, honesty is something valued around TLB, I sat on my couch and cried. Not a typical response for me but I wasn't crying for myself. So many women found woman to woman support, support from her equals that have walked in her shoes and now that place was gone. A treasure trove of wisdom that empowered her as a mother. Now this community had it's space taken away. So I cried for our community. Then I got my cup of coffee, started reading emails, approving forum registrations and reading the flood of support I slowly grew strong. Leaky strong.

Laura, a steadfast Leaky in Ireland had already set-up a Bring Back The Leaky Boob page in protest and it grew to over 4,000 in less than 16 hours. Leakies posted on Mark Zuckerberg's discussion board, asking him to go after truly offensive pages and reinstate TLB. Other parenting and breastfeeding support pages such as Best for Babes, Nursing Freedom, Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths, Bella Luna Toys, Hip Mountain Mama, Accustomed Chaos, Nurtured Child, Job Description Mommy, Wild Mother Arts, The Mandala Journey, Diapeze.com, Elegant Mommy, Near Mama's Heart, Just West of Crunchy, and so, so, so many more posted in an outcry of support. I'm sure I missed some favorites but the response was HUGE!

I think our fairytale space will be restored, though we don't have an actual ending yet. I don't believe in endings anyway, just a continuation of the journey. As we unite together (there's a TLB Support page too, a temporary space for ongoing breastfeeding and parenting support) and show not only Facebook but the world what community and support means to us we can make a difference. Not surprisingly I have a lot of thoughts on all this but here I just wanted to share the story of what happened to The Leaky Boob space on Facebook. Thank you everyone that has shown support, we are Leaky strong.

This Moment- Playing On the Farm

2010-12-31T10:31:00.000-06:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

To My Nursling On Your First Birthday

2010-12-28T07:36:00.002-06:00

Smunchie, 5 weeks old,
photograph by Jack Potts

Dear Smunchie,

My darling, sweet girl, I love you. My chest tightens when I think of you as though I'm going to burst apart so great is the love I have for you. It is overwhelming and surprising for I have that same sensation when I think of each of your four big sisters and yet there was more than enough room for you in my heart and our home. You have filled that space well. In our house you are a rock star, we flock to you in hopes of a smile bestowed upon us, striving to extract one of your ever-ready giggles like a tiny nugget of gold to be cherished as a prized possession.

Smunchie, 12.28.09

Today we celebrate you and quietly I will also be celebrating me, us. Your birth was beautiful, hard but beautiful. A challenging labor on both of us with a difficult presentation (your poor face!) we had to work hard to birth you and you were bruised from the effort. It has been a year since I sang through contractions, a year since I pushed you out of my body on my bed, a year since I first saw your face, touched your cheek, kissed your head, breathed your scent, gave you my breast. So much has happened in this first year and yet I feel as though I merely blinked and here we are. Together and with your daddy and sisters we have encountered moments of ecstatic joy, wonder, discovery, fear, uncertainty, frustration, tenderness, energy, curiosity, and love. It has been a good year and I feel honored to not only have shared it with you but to be the one you turned to for comfort, nourishment, and sustenance along the way. And to be the one to make you laugh the most.

On her way out, Smunchie's head, my hands, 12.28.09
photograph by Linda Dybala

Not only do we celebrate the first year of your life outside the womb and all the many milestones that entails but I celebrate us making it to the first year of breastfeeding. We were not without our hurdles. Jaundice, heart troubles, lost weight, no weight gain, terrible latch, bloody nipples, sleepy baby, doctor visits, chest x-rays, EKGs, monitors, and pumping, I wondered if we would make it. I didn't expect these challenges, I considered myself an old pro at breastfeeding but as it turned out I hired a Lactation Consultant for the first time for me personally with you, my 5th baby. With the help of your daddy, our midwives, our pediatrician and some friends we made it though and finally my nipples healed, your latch improved and you got back to your birth weight and kept growing, you heart and body getting stronger every day. We did that, you and I, we made it. Not every mother gets this, it doesn't always work out, I'm one of the lucky ones.

You amazed me the first time you really went in search of the breast, before we knew something was amiss you already knew what you needed. Surprisingly strong and determined you went after my breast with gusto and a perfect latch. Though difficulties developed shortly after that I saw a glimpse into your personality during that feeding and admired you greatly even then. It is this personality along with the prayers and help of others that got you through when the going got rough.

Smunchie's first breastfeeding photo

In spite of a rocky start we settled in to a special breastfeeding relationship after about the 12 week mark. A relationship I treasured just a bit more because of it's tenuous start. There were times, bare chest to bare chest when I would feel your tiny heart beat against me while you suckled and I would breath just a little bit easier for that moment knowing we were doing the very best we could for you and it was working. Days turned into weeks and you began smiling back at me as you stared up into my eyes while you were feeding. Then came your little hand reaching for my face and if it wasn't already established, I was hooked.

I'm still hooked and will be forever. These breastfeeding days are short in the grand scheme of your life but they are precious to me. This time where I am your world, your favorite person, your comfort and your favorite nutrition will move along quickly. I do my best to hold on to them but I know that all I can really do is enjoy them while they last. Because just as you will grow up developing more of that amazing personality you have so these breastfeeding days will grow into bigger and better things for you someday.

But not any time soon, we've got a while yet.

Your name is fitting to you already, Cosette Marguerite Constance. You are the constant flower of the victorious people; strong yet delicate, beautiful yet steadfast, victorious yet blooming. To me you're also Smunchie, my cuddly small one ready to munch, my smunchkin. I love you with a love bigger than I can begin to understand. Happy Birthday my little nursling.

Much love,

Mommy (AKA Boobies)

Smunchie 12.21.10.

This Moment- For the Love of Sisters

2010-12-24T07:01:00.001-06:00

A Time To Heal- A look at postpartum recovery

2010-12-22T17:00:00.004-06:00

This post was inspired by something I wrote a year ago to a friend feeling overwhelmed with life and the physical condition of her body just 3 weeks after giving birth. I've changed a lot of it and added to it to apply to more women but the message is the same.

Laboring at home.

I often see or hear of women pushing themselves to return to normal as quickly as possible after birth. In a hurry to get their life and body back they jump into a myriad of activities at warp speed, often just days after giving birth. Riding on the birth and baby high, pumped full of adrenaline yet restless from the last few weeks of pregnancy, particularly if they felt like a watched pot, these women fill their schedule, attack their house, and find new projects determined to not be slowed down, impatiently trying to control and master this new version of normal. These women are often viewed with admiration and awe and the media highlights celebrities that are back to their prepregnant weight by 6 weeks or were spotted out jogging at 3 weeks or were back on the set of their TV show at 10 days. This is held up as the epitome of a strong woman, give birth, bounce back, conquer world. After all, women in China squat in a rice field, push their baby out and throw them on their back then return to work, right?

It's as though we've forgotten to celebrate. We've forgotten how important it is to rest after a hard work and enjoy the fruit of our labors. We've forgotten that while pregnancy and childbirth may not be an illness our bodies still need to recover from the taxing physical and emotional demands of the endeavor. Pregnancy, labor and childbirth may be a normal part of life but it is anything but easy. The change a woman's body goes through are massive to say nothing of the emotional journey as well. Ignoring this reality can have serious consequences for our bodies, our emotional health, our breastfeeding relationship with our baby, our mothering, and our families. Do not underestimate the potential for damage if we neglect our postpartum healing.

Smunchie, 2 weeks.

I understand the temptation, the drive. My pregnancies are difficult and I feel more alive after birth than I ever feel during the months of pregnancy so I can't wait to get back to feeling well and being active. Two weeks after giving birth to my first we moved and I returned to teaching private lessons and was leading worship at 3 weeks. With my second I was performing at 6 days postpartum, my dress too tight in the chest thanks to being engorged and my baby in the green room with a friend where I'd run to nurse her between sets praying I wouldn't soak through my breast pads. With my 3rd baby I did nothing... for a week and then I was back cleaning my house, cooking and grocery shopping. I actually had maternity leave that time and I took it, mostly. The only reason I wasn't out shopping, taking the older kids to the park and lessons was because we all got the flu when she was just 3 weeks old. Almost 5 years later baby #4 was born and I still hadn't learned my lesson, shopping at Baby's R Us at 2 days postpartum, walking the mall at 2 weeks and attending births at 3 weeks and that was after experiencing uterine prolapse during the pushing stage. In the 2 years between #4 and #5 I learned a lot, worked with a lot of women as a midwife student and doula, studied different cultures approach to birth and motherhood, talked to midwives and many mothers and came to realize that we were missing something vital. Nearly a year ago with Smunchie I did nothing for almost 4 weeks and then tried to gradually eased into activity after that. The biggest obstacle I encountered in trying to rest? Not my children, not the house cleaning, not the cooking, not anything I was missing out on. No, the biggest obstacle was the voice in my head and a tiny handful of other people (including the company that came to "help") saying I couldn't let this "keep me down," I was strong and there was so much to do. Stupid voices.

Dear pregnant women and recently postpartum women, I have a few things to say to you. Please, please, please let yourself rest and recover, do not be impatient with this postpartum time. You have gone through so much and now is the time to simply be with your baby. You have not done a small thing, no. This major organ and bag of muscles in your body grew quickly more than tripling in size in a few months. Your blood volume more than doubled. Demands were placed on your body and while it rose to the challenge this also depleted your resources. Organs shifted and were smashed. If you had a vaginal birth your body worked to move your baby down and out, stretching, pulling, opening, applying 40-60 pounds of pressure as your uterus flexed it's great strength to bring you your baby. Parts of your body stretched and eased out a whole person, a small person but still, a person. And maybe not that small. Any tearing or swelling needs time to heal. If you encountered interventions outside of your body's own initiative then you have additional physical stress and possibly emotional stress to recover from as well. For those that had a cesarean, you had major (as in, serious, muscle separating, invasive) surgery that removed a significant mass (baby, sorry) from your body causing significant blood loss, a shift of internal organs, and an incision that all require recovery and healing. C-section surgery may be the most common surgery in our country but that doesn't make it any less invasive and traumatizing on the body. C-sections don't mean you get to completely skip out on postpartum recovery and "only" have to recover from surgery, no, you have both to do and this isn't easy. Some of you labored and had major abdominal surgery too. However your baby was born you need rest and lots and lots of it. Either way there is a large wound inside you where the placenta was attached, it needs rest to heal. Days or weeks into your postpartum recovery you are healing from huge physical changes and giving birth, maybe surgery, tears, and more. Six weeks is a small amount of time to ensure you recover well. Mothers recovering from a c-section, remember you had major surgery and you should be resting, REALLY resting for at least 8 weeks knowing that surgery can take even longer for full recovery.

My roses from The Piano Man after Smunchie's birth and my baby hanging out.

The western world has placed unrealistic expectations and demands on new mothers during the postpartum period. We not only neglect them but we ask them to neglect themselves! I'm a firm believer that staying home, lounging in your PJs for 6 weeks with good food, real support, and helpers is the best way to set a new mother up for success. In cultures where this is practiced PPD rates are significantly lower, mothers report being happier and more confident and marriages are stronger. A woman's partner sees that she has gone through a physically trans-formative experience and respects that more in her. I am a huge advocate of pregnancy and birth as normal, life events, not an illness but at the same time recognize that we must embrace the changes that this normal process brings our bodies with peace, rest, and gentleness for ourselves.

I know it's hard, I know you've been stuck feeling crappy at the end of pregnancy for what feels like ages and it is hard not to be in a hurry to return to normal. But here's the reality check we rarely talk about: you have a new normal now. Life will never go back completely the same, everything has changed. Normal is now redefined. This new normal includes having been pregnant and giving birth, being a mother for the first time or having one (or 2 or 3) more children than you did before. Busy before looks nothing like busy now. Sleep is changed. Instead of handbag you carry a diaper bag. You don't even pee the same way. Our culture tells us these things are the bad parts of becoming a mother but maybe they are actually the good parts. I don't know but what I do know is that at first it is just crazy overwhelming. Your postpartum time can help you ease into this new normal as much as possible. Pull out of your regular activities, they will be fine not having you for a few weeks I promise. You will too. Recognize that there will have to be a lot of flexibility because your baby simply isn't going to be reading the same things you are. Just like with labor and birth take it one step, one minute at a time. Go easy on yourself and show yourself some grace. Even if you have other children already you need this time and the truth is they do to. Embracing the changes you are all experiencing means giving room for them to happen. And by the way, those celebrities you see, they have help, lots and lots of help. Not to mention they're not respecting themselves either by ignoring this time.

The Piano Man sitting with a jaundiced Smunchie in the sun while I napped, well, napped after I took this pic.

Now, I'm pulling out the mommy tone... you can ignore me if you like but I have to say it.

Put the car seat down. For that matter, put the keys down. You don't have to be super mom. In fact, if you try you are likely to burn out and find yourself much worse off. Take it or leave it but I'm giving you permission to not wash your hair, not change your clothes, not leave the house, not wash a dish, not pick-up a toy and not do anything else than put a DVD on, sit on the couch with your precious baby and be the postpartum woman you actually are. Stare into your baby's eyes, stare at partner staring into your baby's eyes. Close your eyes and take a nap when all three of you are tired of staring. Focus on breastfeeding and getting your supply well established, take the time to get both you and your baby comfortable with breastfeeding. Sip a glass of wine once in a while, take a long shower while someone else holds your baby, ask a friend paint your toe nails. Have your husband bring food home, if you don't care, let him pick, if you do care, call ahead and have the order placed and just let him know where to stop on his way home. Order extra so there are left-overs for tomorrow. Ask him to help pick up around the house even while you just lay in bed or sit on the couch. Yes, he's tired, yes, he may be working a lot and dealing with the stress of sleep issues with a newborn in the house (maybe) but, sorry, you still have the trump card of 9 months of major body changes, the extreme workout of your uterus contracting and pushing our a baby or the muscles in your abdomen recently severed, pulled apart and opened and your baby extracted from your insides after which you were put back together but not completely. Put the car seat down. Oh, I said that earlier. Well, I mean it. Ask for help, friends, family, or hired help (postpartum doulas are great) and actually let them help. You need rest and healing. Whatever that looks like. Who gives a flip if you take 6 weeks to do nothing? Being truly rested and healed is worth the time. You don't have to be on house arrest the whole time by any stretch but after giving yourself a good 2-3 weeks staying in, ease yourself into the outings slowly and listen to your body and go home when it says it's had enough and it's time to rest.

Your body has ways to tell you when you're not resting enough. If you spot any of these in yourself it's time to slow down.

Bright red bleeding- The first few days the lochia (postpartum discharge of blood, tissue, and mucus) is usually heavy and red but it tapers off to pink and mucusy and then brown. When you see bright red after it has changed then you are doing too much.

Thirst- Change in blood volume, hormones, sweating, and breastfeeding make staying hydrated important. If you're thirsty then your body is telling you it's dehydrated so please slow down and drink more and eat food rich in water.

Exhaustion- Being tired goes with having a new baby but if you're exhausted you're setting yourself up for a host of other problems including postpartum depression. Sleep is important. The old adage to nap when the baby naps isn't just for fun, you really need to try to sleep every chance you can.

Baby Blues- It's completely normal to have a wide range of emotions after having a baby and feeling a little blue isn't uncommon. However, when that feeling is stronger than just a bit of the blues or you find yourself battling overwhelming sadness, anxiety and stress, look and see if your schedule is too full. Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about it if the blues turn into something much more oppressive.

Constipation- There are several causes for constipation including diet and fluid intake but did you know that if you're not getting the rest you need and not taking the time to eat and drink well it can also contribute? And after pregnancy and birth you want to keep things easy down there.

Trouble sleeping- Babies wake often to feed so sleep can be a little difficult to come by in the early days. If you find yourself unable to sleep when you do actually have the chance it could be because you're not getting enough rest and are overtired. Activity can help with sleep to but don't rush into anything, take your time and be well rested to avoid a vicious cycle.

Breastfeeding troubles- There is nothing like staying home for weeks, putting your feet up and making sure you and your baby get off to as good a start as possible. This takes work, attention and sometimes perseverance. The first week is particularly important, lay in bed, eat, drink, nurse, change diapers there, and get your supply established by feeding on demand. The dust bunnies can wait, someone else can do the dishes or use paper plates but this breastfeeding relationship is for the long haul and not something that you want to worry about fixing later.

Continued bleeding- Most women stop bleeding anywhere between 3-6 weeks postpartum. I have seen with myself and with other women that the postpartum bleeding time can be greatly reduced by resting and for those that don't rest it often extends, sometimes going much longer than 6 weeks.

Touched out- Babies like to be close which is great, we like to have them close too. But sometimes you may wonder when was the last time someone wasn't touching you. If you start feeling touched out and overwhelmed with physical contact it may be time to let someone else hold your baby. Your brain is signaling for you to take care of yourself and being fatigued will make you overly sensitive to stimulation. Feed your baby and hand him/her off while you take a nap alone, shower or make a run to the coffee shop drive-through.

It wasn't until my 5th baby that I finally rested postpartum. Looking back I don't regret taking that time at all and I wish I had respected myself and my babies more the 4 times prior. Due to some health concerns with Smunchie it wasn't exactly the restful period I had hoped for but it was significantly more so than it had ever been with my 4 older girls. My bleeding time was 3 weeks, we stocked up on cuddles as a family, I was actually able to sleep even with a crazy breastfeeding and pumping schedule, and I felt great. There were moments when I felt I should be doing something but nothing was left undone that either someone else couldn't do or couldn't wait for me to get around to it. To combat feeling lazy and unproductive (sleep is productive though!) I did knit some and really enjoyed having my baby laying next to me while I knit her some sweet clothes.

Roses, baby and my knitting 1 week postpartum.

In all of my long-winded babbling my point is respect yourself, respect this time. Hold onto it, it will pass quickly and there are precious moments here. Moments of healing, moments of growing, moments of developing, moments of transition, moments of deepening and moments of memory. The first six weeks or so pass in a blur as it is, slow down so you don't miss them entirely. If you are too busy for those moments you will feel like you missed something and your body will not be in a place to help support the pace of life having a new baby now puts you. There is no doubt you can do it but how you begin can make a huge difference in how you continue. Rest for now, busy will always find you again later and your new normal will engulf you soon enough.

This Moment- The final Nutcracker 2010

2010-12-17T10:16:00.000-06:00

This Moment- Finding Our Christmas Tree

2010-12-09T23:36:00.000-06:00

Breastfeeding- Good for Dads Too

2010-12-09T23:05:00.001-06:00

Occasionally I'll hear that someone's husband or boyfriend didn't want them to breastfeed. The reasons vary but one thing I know for sure is how hard it is to breastfeed without support. That's not all though, I know there are some pretty darn good reasons a guy would want his girl to give lactating a try. So guys, I don't want to leave you out and neither does anyone else.

The real question is why wouldn't you want your partner to breastfeed your children?

I'm not a man. For me to write about this perspective is complete conjecture. Except somehow I manage to talk about breastfeeding with everyone, even my single male friends find themselves inexplicably discussing breastfeeding, the benefits of breastfeeding, the over-sexualization and objectification of breasts and women and what is normal and weird. It truly is amazing how often it comes up not to mention all the conversations I've had with The Piano Man on the subject. I've heard a lot from single men, dating men, married men, married and expecting, married with kids, and married with grown kids. After the post 8 Unexpected Benefits of Breastfeeding one of my single guy friends was completely fascinated about points 4 and 7 in particular. I don't know everything but I know a thing or two about several "selfish" reasons a guy would want the mother of their children to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding- Good For Dads Too- Why Guys DO Want The Mother of Their Children To Breastfeed

You are an important part of the equation
True, she may be the one with the goods but I promise you do matter. Getting the baby ready to eat, setting her up in a comfortable spot with a glass of water, putting on her favorite music or starting a movie, rubbing her feet or shoulders while she's nursing, helping with some house hold chore, making her a snack or even better a meal and in general keeping her company or gazing adoringly at her and your child will have her falling deeper in love with you by the second. You'll be a hero. And this is good, you'll like the outcome when she is deeper in love with you, trust me.

More money for your toys!
Formula is expensive, I mean really, REALLY expensive. Obviously, breastfeeding is cheaper than buying formula unless you qualify for free formula through WIC but the cost of formula aside, statistically speaking studies show that breastfed babies tend to go to the doctor less. On top of all those money saving advantageous there's even the amazing healing properties of breastmilk itself. Cuts, scrapes, rashes, eye infections and other ailments respond well to the application of breastmilk. This means less money spent on co-pays and prescriptions or time missing work and more for that big screen TV and a pair of diamond earrings for her.

No weight lifting- lighter diaper bag!
Formula lightens your wallet and weighs down the diaper bag. You won't feel like you're weight lifting every time you pick up the diaper bag if she's breastfeeding. If the diaper bag is heavy see if she's sneaking bricks in there or something because all you usually need in the diaper bag of a breastfed baby is a couple of diapers, wipes, small blanket, change of clothes and maybe a toy. No bottles to mix, no formula to lug around.

Late night store runs are limited to chocolate, beer and diapers
It's incredibly rare for a woman to run out of breastmilk, like seriously, almost never. If it does happen it means something is wrong. The entire system is demand and supply: baby demands, boobs supply. This means no panicky runs to the store late at night because someone forgot to pick up a new can of formula and starving your baby is not an option. Nope, if you're running to the store late at night it's for something else. Like chocolate. Or beer. Or diapers... unless you're cloth diapering but I'll save that for later.

It's like a comedy routine
There are some pretty funny moments that come with breastfeeding. Unexpected letdown, shirts with holes for nipples, strange bras, pumping experiences, spraying across the room and so much more. You're bound to find yourself laughing at some bizarre experience. Just be sure you're laughing with her, not at her or you might not get to enjoy some of those other benefits, you'll soon see what I mean.

Confidence is SEXY
Your girl is hot and sexy, right? You tell her this and she glows but argues with you saying she's not and that is so not sexy. Unfortunately media, the fashion industry, and a variety of other culprits have chipped away at women's confidence regarding their bodies. Even though we know the standards of beauty and sexy are based on fake women, we our own worst critics finding every flaw, real and imagined and are continually disappointed in our bodies. Oddly enough, many women find that childbirth and breastfeeding actually boost their confidence. To see what their bodies can do changes their perspective and gradually their imperfections become just a part of the package that grew and now nourishes their baby. Your baby. Giving them more confidence than ever before. Confidence is sexy, even sexier than she would be in any item from Victoria Secret. And if she doesn't become more confident in her body through motherhood, let her know that you are confident in her body anyway.

Hell-O Boobies!
While I'm sure you love your partner's breast just the way they are, most women experience a bit of a size increase with pregnancy and when their milk comes in. It can be like Miracle Grow for Boobs. Larger boobs, who can complain about that? They also get a little more firm in their lactating state. Plus, you'll get to see them pretty much all the time since she's going to be breastfeeding every 2-3 hours, specially in the early days. And if she is in the mood, they can be a lot of fun to play with, like a whole new experience kind of fun. It's true that they may be a little different after breastfeeding, though you can't blame any sagging on breastfeeding, that's from pregnancy and genetics; but they are still boobs and hey, it keeps things interesting.

Here, let me help you with that
With all that growth and the new activity she's going to need some lotion and maybe lanolin, surely you wouldn't mind helping her rub some lotion all over those magic breasts, right? And some women end up with serious engorgement and sometimes babies have trouble relieving it, rumor has it the milk tastes pretty good, like the milk left over after a bowl of cereal. I'm willing to bet you could quickly figure out a good latch to help her find some relief and who knows, you might even enjoy "having" to help her out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I shared before in the 8 Unexpected Benefits of Breastfeeding that some women have their milk let down, leaking and spraying all over the place when they orgasm. While I'm not always a fan of it myself, usually it's not a problem at all. Actually it's like a standing ovation, a very wet standing ovation. Just in case you weren't sure before, consider your milk shower a neon flashing sign and an announcement that you were awesome. You can towel off knowing you rocked her world. Don't let it rain on your parade, that's for sure, just turn it into part of the fun.

Something new to try
If you've tried licking chocolate or whipped cream of your partner, why not expand to breastmilk? And I've heard breastmilk makes a fantastic lubricant which is good because it's not unusual for a woman to need a little help in that area after having a baby and during breastfeeding.

Hold the PMS please
Breastfeeding, specifically exclusive breastfeeding (nothing but breastmilk) helps keep a woman's fertility from returning. Some women do have it return sooner but many women experience a delay in their cycle for at least 6 months, more often closer to a year and sometimes more. This is Mother Nature's way of providing a spacing between pregnancy that is easier on a woman's body. Of course, there are other benefits here you can enjoy, no PMS, no "off" times of the month, and saving money on feminine hygiene products to name a few. You could get an extended break from finding tampons on the shopping list saving you from the awkward aisle at the grocery store.

Won't Need A Gas Mask for Diaper Changes!
It may seem hard to believe but there really are levels of poop and I love breastmilk poop. Having done both breasfeeding and formula feeding myself plus changed countless diapers as a babysitter and of friends' babies I can say with confidence that while poop is poop breastmilk poop isn't nearly as shitty as formula poop. It's all about the proteins, there is more in breastmilk a baby's body can use so less waste in their excrement. Same thing with gas too, breastfed babies usually (there is always the exception to the rule) have less gas than formula fed babies and what they have usually isn't quite as rank.

Sweet Baby Breath
Like poop it turns out there actually is a difference in types of spit up. Pretty much all babies are going to spit up at some point, some a lot, some a little. The good news is that breastmilk is easier to digest than formula which is great even for those babies with reflux issues. Just like breastmilk smells more pleasant than formula, so does breastmilk spit up. As an added bonus, the proteins in breastmilk spit up break down easier making for fewer stains. Not that you're going to like it or anything, I'm just saying it could be worse. And breastfed babies have super sweet breath, you'll be sniffing your baby's mouth it smells so good.

Healthy baby
Statistically breastfed babies get sick less often thanks to the customized specific immune boosters breastmilk produces. There is always someone that will point out their formula fed baby was never sick but their friend's breastfed baby was always sick but generally speaking, the statistics point to a lower risk of illness in breastfed babies compared to formula fed babies. And healthy babies are happy babies! Sick babies cry... a lot.

More Zzzzzzz's for you
Yep, you'll probably get more sleep if she's breastfeeding than if you choose formula. Even if you help get her set up to feed when the baby wakes, you get to go back to sleep. And if you choose to co-sleep you may not even notice when she feeds the baby, dreaming blissfully and sleeping like… well, like a man whose partner is breastfeeding. By the way, I wouldn't point this one out to your partner or you may find yourself keeping her company when she's having trouble sleeping and staying up feeding the baby.

You won't be a Schmuck
That's right, I said it. If none of these things ever happen for you and your partner in the breastfeeding journey she's still going to need your support. Supporting your partner in breastfeeding means you won't be "that guy." The guy that put his wants, desires and supposed needs above those of his baby. The guy that acts like he owns the mother of his children and her body. The guy that can't handle being a grown-up, is afraid of making personal sacrifices to be sure his offspring are well cared for. No, guys that support their wives or girlfriends breastfeeding are instantly hot, seen as more sensitive and she is glad to have him. Guys that support their partner breastfeeding are the kind of men that are mature enough to understand the complex nature of family life and they and their families will likely thrive together as a result.

With all this you may find yourself turning into a lactivist. It's ok, breastfeeding women think guy lactivists are sexy. Not sure what a lactivist is? Check out our list and see how you compare. And I hope you have just as much fun discovering many more reasons why you would want your wife or girlfriend to breastfeed. To read what my guy has to say on the topic, check out his post "Mammaries... I Mean Memories..."

Making milk and making sweaters- PumpEase Review

2010-12-09T21:37:00.000-06:00

This is a product review of PumpEase Organic Hands-free Pumping Support but really it's more like a tale of extreme multitasking. Extreme for me anyway. I'm sure quite a few could burst my bubble but this was down right dangerous as far as I'm concerned.

My life, like most moms I know, is full and busy. Full-time mommying in and of itself is never ending and time consuming and then I have a tendency to heap other things on top of that such as working, homeschooling, writing, performing, being a doula and teaching music along with all the other daily things that go with life in general such as laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning. (Who am I kidding? I don't really clean.) Sometimes it seems like there aren't enough hours in the day. Yeah, I feel like that pretty much every day.

And still, I try to fit my hobbies in, In fact, I need to fit my hobbies in for my emotional health and sanity. To keep me balanced to some extent I knit, sew, paint, and read. And buy yarn. Buying yarn is it's own hobby, trust me. I'm well on my way to becoming a fiber enthusiast. I'm already a yarn whore. Just ask The Piano Man. Yarn lusting, I mean shopping, is usually something I do while multitasking and with the computer it just so happens that it works perfectly do look at some knitter's porn while I'm breastfeeding or NAKing (Nursing At Keyboard). I have been breastfeeding and pumping for my at least one of my 5 babies for the last 12 years off and on- mostly on. Though I'm a pro at multitasking while breastfeeding I find multitasking while pumping much, much more difficult. A baby doesn't usually spill milk from the boob but it's all to easy to lose some of that precious liquid if I'm trying to balance the pumping bottles and horns while doing something else. And I've done it.

Anyone that says not to cry over spilled milk has never lost 3 ounces of hard earned pumped breastmilk.

Since I really can't pull off much else while pumping I find myself closing my eyes and end up incredibly tired by the end of the pumping session. Sometimes I risk it and try to be on the computer at the same time but it's incredibly stressful. I've heard of the rubber band trick but it really didn't work for me (I was nervous) and needed something more secure for me to be comfortable.

Then Wendy from PumpEase sent me one of her PumpEase Organics to try. It came during a crazy week and so it sat unopened for 6 days. For six days I didn't touch it. This was stupid. I was super busy, still pumping and I didn't have time to open the one thing that would have made it easier? Don't ask me what I was thinking, I really do not know. That first night I pulled it out, tried it on and sat down to give a whirl. My first thought? WHERE HAS THIS THING BEEN FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS? My next thought? I'm going to get so much more done!

To test out the multitasking opportunities I got out my computer. Yeah, that worked and it was easy. The only thing I had to be careful of was to not forget I was pumping and pull the computer too close and hit the bottles. PumpEase Organic and the computer? Check.

Next I went for still sitting and relaxing so I pulled out my knitting. I have on occasion managed to knit something simple with a baby at the breast but it's risky as baby may grab the project and rip stitches out (ACK!) and my hands get tired and sore. But I've never really managed pumping and knitting. The PumpEase changed the entire game though, it was brilliant! I sat and pumped and knit. It was so wonderful, I was so excited, I was making milk and making a sweater at the same time. PumpEase Organic and knitting? Check.

Oh, but wait, it gets better.

Since I had a guest post submission to read I grabbed a pillow, set my laptop up on the pillow on my lap and started reading while knitting while pumping. It totally worked. I finished reading the entire submission, made significant progress on the sweater and pumped 2 more ounces at the same time. PumpEase Organic and the computer and knitting? Check.

It would have been more but Smunchie woke up and wanted to nurse. So I decided to keep pumping one side, put Smunchie on the other side in the football hold with a pillow supporting her head, headed to my favorite yarn porn site, picked up my knitting and hammered out a few more rows. PumpEase Organic and the computer and knitting and nursing? Check.

Then my mom called.

PumpEase Organic.
Phone.
Computer/yarn porn.
Baby.
Knitting.
Pumping.
5 ounces.

Check.

It was awesome. I was the multitasking queen.


Once I pulled out the camera Smunchie insisted on multitasking too, eat and try to get the camera.

Over the next 2 weeks I tried different activities while pumping and found that the PumpEase made me feel secure enough to do quite a few chores and work projects while pumping my milk. Folding laundry, eating, writing, reading with kids, homeschooling, reading, sewing (I had to be careful not to hit the bottles on the table), practicing music, playing piano (the sound of the pump threw me off a few times, I kept wanting to play in rhythm with the pump), more knitting and yes, yarn shopping.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly because I swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

What I liked:
The hook and eye closures made me feel secure and comfortable that it would stay and hold well. The fit was snug and I could have gotten away with a medium but there was plenty of stretch and it didn't feel too tight just snug which really made me feel even more secure. The fabric was very soft and I liked that it could be secure without being uncomfortable. The limitations I faced with it had nothing to do with the hands-free support and everything to do with my pump namely the plug and that I couldn't bend over without messing the pump up. This may sound silly but I also loved that it was packaged up pretty. It was like I got a present, a nice box, pink tissue paper, pamphlets, a fridge magnet with milk storage information and a door hanger to warn possible intruders that I was up to mommy business. The door hanger does not work on kids, FYI, apparently they don't care if they see you pumping.

I would have loved this with every one of my babies. Having worked as a nanny, music performer, theater performer, music teacher, worship pastor, doula, midwife assistant and gallery curator I could have put this too good use many times over.

What I didn't like:
I promise to share the good, the bad and the ugly in all of my reviews so my readers can trust me and my writing. So, um, the bad and the ugly... well, the PumpEase Organic is boring. You won't be making a fashion statement in it, that's for sure. But this didn't bother me I much prefer organic over jazzy underwear anyway. My exciting underwear is just plain teal and I have 3 bras, all solid colors: white, black, and tan. So if organic would matter to you more than having a print or color then the choice should be obvious. The openings to place the pump horns was a little awkward for me to manage first but that just took a little practice. That's all I got for bad and ugly.

Overall
I loved this product and wish I could go back in time and take this with me for all my pumping days over the last 12 years. Pumping moms, whether you work out of your home, work at home or are a stay at home mom a PumpEase Hands-free pumping support will great asset to you. I'm thrilled with mine and look forward to putting it to good use for a while yet.

Sorry my pics are so terrible, even the PumpEase couldn't save me from terrible night time indoor lighting and the hazards of one handed self portraits.

This Moment- Knitting and Babies

2010-12-03T10:06:00.001-06:00

How Breastfeeding Saved My Life

2010-11-30T18:02:00.001-06:00

I'm excited to bring you another guest post, submitted by Star a WIC breastfeeding peer supporter and gentle breastfeeding advocate. Star shares her story of the unexpected impact breastfeeding had on her own health and indeed her life. I am honored to be bringing you this guest post and appreciate Star sharing her story.

I’ve addressed before how I’m sort of the reluctant lactivist who originally thought she wouldn’t breastfeed. I talked a lot about how and why I changed my mind, and the struggles I faced to nurse my first.

But there was one crazily unexpected benefit that I didn’t discuss.

Rewind a few years to when I was 25, and pregnant with my first daughter. I had a very high risk pregnancy. Part of this was because I was classified morbidly obese.

If you just met me today, you probably wouldn’t think such a thing. In fact, at 6 months postpartum with baby 2, and still carrying around an extra 10-15 pounds, I’m still within a very healthy weight range for my body frame/height. In fact, people have been known to call me slim.

But this was me then:

I was, at the end of my pregnancy with baby #1, slightly over 300 pounds. Granted, I’m tallish for a woman – but not tallish enough that that much extra weight was even close to ok. I’m also asthmatic, severely – so carrying that weight was a huge burden on my health in many ways. I didn’t worry about it until I got pregnant. And then one day, while looking at my chart, I saw the words “morbidly obese” notated there.

Those are NOT fun words to see on a chart describing yourself. Like, at all. Especially when you think of yourself as more like “attractively plump” or “large, but well-proportioned.” But those two words are pretty effective at drying up denial quickly.

So I had my daughter – by c-section – something that I’ve always wondered if my weight had an impact on. And then I thought about how I didn’t want to be the fat mom who couldn’t run around with her kids, or was the butt of their friend’s jokes, or anything like that. And I certainly didn’t want to die young – which was a very real possibility with some family history and my obesity. But I had literally no clue how to change things. And I was having those aforementioned issues with breastfeeding and my daughter, which, quite frankly, made life too stressful to even attempt a lifestyle change. So I put it off.

Then something pretty awesome started to happen.

Little by little, my jeans were looser. My face was thinner. I could button jeans that I’d only dreamed of buttoning in the past.

“Well,” I thought, “I probably just lost a little more after the pregnancy. No big deal. It won’t continue.”

But it did. And I bought new clothes and weaned off one of my asthma meds. And I hadn’t done anything differently.

It was 60 pounds later when I stopped just losing weight by existing. Let me repeat that – SIXTY pounds. Sixty. Six Oh.

At a routine checkup, my doctor said, "So, what are you doing differently?"

"Nothing," I told her. "I think I have a tapeworm or something. Can you check for tapeworms?"

She laughed at me and flipped through my chart. “You’re breastfeeding?”

“Yeah. Is that ok? Because, seriously, I’m not completely joking about the tapeworm thing. Can tapeworms go through breastmilk?”

She shook her head at me. “Your weight loss is likely caused by breastfeeding. I highly doubt that you have a tapeworm or anything else wrong with you. I can run a blood count if you’re really concerned that you have something wrong with you, but I see this a lot with breastfeeding women. The weight just kind of melts off. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make changes to become healthier overall. But this is a good start.”

I took that to heart. And, yes, I did eventually have to work out and eat better foods and all that jazz to get to a good place, weight wise. But breastfeeding kick started it. And that kick start gave me the confidence to continue it.

Star after breastfeeding her first baby

I'm sure some of you will scoff at the notion that breastfeeding saved my life. However, I don't think any doctor would argue that being morbidly obese sets you up for a whole slew of life-threatening ailments. And when you add in all the *other* health benefits of breastfeeding too, well, it no longer seems like a stretch. Not to mention the 60 pounds it helped me to lose, it’s really probably not that far off from the truth. Breastfeeding saved my life.

The author today, healthier, happier and breastfeeding her second baby.

A Note from Jessica

I love Star's story, it is beautiful, inspiring and full of hope and I am so honored to share it here. Breastfeeding educators have long shared how breastfeeding can help a woman lose weight and recently the New York WIC caused a stir with their breastfeeding campaign that focused on weight loss as one benefit of breastfeeding. This isn't a reason to breastfeed in and of itself but it is a potential positive benefit from breastfeeding and a dang good one at that. At the same time it is important to note that not every woman will lose weight while breastfeeding and some, like myself, may even hold on to some extra padding until they wean. Even if that is the case, breastfeeding still has so many other wonderful effects on mom and baby that it is worth continuing. Be encouraged that either way you breastfeeding is wonderful for both you and your nursling! To your health!

A Mark of My Own

2010-11-28T21:07:00.000-06:00

I have a bunch of reviews to do and I'm excited to start with one from a Leaky I've known for years. I knew Lizabeth before she ever leaked a drop. Now though, she's a veteran breastfeeding mom running her business, A Mark of My Own, and caring for her 3 year old daughter. She also makes awesome apple pineapple cider and is a good friend.

This past week, in the middle of preparing for Thanksgiving (she had 3 turkeys in a cooler and baking to do!), Lizabeth had our family over to glaze some of her beautiful unfinished ornaments and to drink some of that delicious cider of hers. She had a dazzling selection of bisque laid out for us and we all selected our favorites. Amazingly, even with all the hubbub and little ones afoot, not a single ornament was broken and no paint ended up on the carpet or walls. While I consider avoiding disaster a success in an of itself, the beauty of the ornaments we get to bring home is even better. We painted well over a dozen of her designs and are excited to have some beautiful handmade ornaments not only for our own tree but to give as well.

Through A Mark of My Own Lizabeth creates handmade works of art that are beautiful left plain just as they are or as a canvas for customers to unleash their own creative flare. As gifts, gift tags on packages, family memory keepsakes or to create the perfect designer touch for your tree, A Mark of My Own helps you bring a unique artistic touch to your holidays. Lizabeth fired the ornaments we glazed in her kiln but customers that order through her can either glaze and fire their own (pottery studios will make kilns available for a small fee usually) or use other art supplies that don't require firing in a kiln.

The bisque ornaments- I want a basket of these sitting on my table as decoration:

The artists at work:

Of course I breastfed while painting, Smunchie got hungry!

I swear, this was totally unintentional, I didn't even realize it until Lizabeth pointed out that it looked like a b@@b.

Considered writing "The Leaky B@@b" on it but stuck with the rainbow plan.

The finished product after firing:

In case you're not sure, here is a little information about what these ornaments are.

Q: What is "bisque" or "bisqueware"?

A: Let's first start with "greenware". It is simply air-dried clay, an unfired clay form that can be destroyed by water.

Once the greenware has been fired it is called "bisqueware," fired ware that resists MOST water, but is beyond the point of being able to be destroyed by normal means. At this point it may be decorated with paint, such as acrylics, colored with a permanent marker, decoupaged, etc.

Bisqueware is also the point where most potters will apply glaze. "Glaze ware" (or finished ware) are ceramic forms that have been bisque fired and then glazed (creates a shiny surface as well as adds protection to the piece). The forms are fired one last time after a glaze is applied, this causes the glaze to adhere and usually pushes the piece to full vitrification (accepts NO water).

Lizabeth is a delightful WAHM to work with, be sure to check out her shop and let her know I sent you. Tomorrow she is having a sale for CyberMonday that you won't want to miss. I'm already planning my next ornament, I'm thinking beeswax block crayons or oil pastels with marker... The possibilities are endless!

Squiggle Bug and Lizabeth's daughter Zuzu enjoy homemade tomato basil soup and cheese together after painting.

This Moment- Earth Baby Gets Her First Pair of Pointe Shoes

2010-11-26T09:00:00.000-06:00

KIDS EAT FREE!- Wild Mother Arts

2010-11-23T00:47:00.001-06:00

The Leaky B@@b sponsor Wild Mother Arts have a beautiful giveaway for us this week. Something special that not only moms but their little ones will enjoy as well, Jacquelyn has created something a unique piece to be cherished.

Goodnight Moon Nursing & Storytelling Necklace

"Goodnight room, goodnight moon..."

This is a very special nursing necklace, made from a 30mm (just over an inch) Millefiori glassworked donut in a calming midnight blue, with a sky full of stars and a little yellow moon. It's perfect for early evenings and can also be used as a storytelling necklace for mama to wear as a signal to your child that it's time to settle down, to listen to stories before bed, or for afternoon quiet times. It makes a wonderful addition to your nightly bedtime routine for older children, too.

It's adjustable in length, has strong woven cotton cord and is dressed up with a lead-free Tierracast pewter bead. The necklace comes in a heavy cotton gift bag stamped with the International Breastfeeding symbol and a little card telling you about the necklace.

To be entered simple comment on this post and include your email address. Not required but would be lovely to see, share your favorite book to read with your little ones before bed time.

For a second entry into this give-away go to the Wild Mother Arts etsy shop and find your favorite product in her store, come back here and let us know what your favorite item in her shop is.

You qualify for a third entry when you check out the Wild Mother Arts Facebook page and like her so you can hear about sales and new products easily by following her store.

For one more additional entry, share this give away on a social networking site such as Facebook, Twitter (and be sure to tag Wild Mother Arts as in your post or tweet- she's @birthgoddess on twitter) or a parenting board (Not TLB forums) and let us know how you shared it in another comment.

That's it! This giveaway is Runs from Tuesday, November 23th through Friday, November 26st.

For those that just can't wait or are eying one of the other marvelous products on the Wild Mother Arts site, Jacquelyn has given us an awesome and generous coupon code for 10% off just for Leakies good through November 30th: LEAKYBOOB2010. Happy shopping!

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This Give-Away Is Now Closed!

Thanks to Wild Mother Arts and everyone that entered.

The winner is Rachael! Wild Mother Arts will need your shipping address, I will email you.
Congrats and enjoy!

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It Takes A Little Support- Welcome New Sponsors!

2010-11-22T08:04:00.002-06:00

I'm so please to have found a way that helps me be able to continue blogging and running The Leaky B@@b Facebook page by having sponsors on the blog. There are a few new recent additions to the sponsor team and I'd like to introduce them to you.

Wild Mother Arts - In the top far right corner is a beautiful ad for Wild Mother Arts one of our newest sponsors. Jacquelyn creates beautiful jewelry for mothers. For the last week I have enjoyed a new necklace similar to this one from her shop, a lovely stone on a secure adjustable cotton cord. Smunchie has enjoyed playing with the stone while at the breast though the necklace gets even more love during diaper changes, creating a distraction that keeps her from wiggling away from me, I love it! Earth Baby has this necklace waiting for her first cycle, her menarche, and I know she's going to love it. Personally, I've had my eye on these beautiful celtic knot earrings, I think they would look lovely in my stocking come Christmas morning. Jacquelyn, thank you for your support!

KD's Doll Shop - In our family we avoid plastic materials as much as possible, particularly for our children's play things. You just can't beat natural fibers that provide a wide range of sensations for exploring hands. Even more so when that toy is a doll destined to become a good friend. This is why I'm so excited about this sponsor, beautiful hand made dolls inspired by the Waldorf philosophy of playthings from natural materials and simple features to leave more room for imagination. The Little Red Riding Hood doll is begging to come live with our family as is this adorable girl with cute pigtails and a cookie shirt.

Lullabye Kisses - Leaky mommy Amanda owns and operates this company bringing hand picked natural parenting products to mommies and daddies everywhere. She welcome suggestions of products she should carry so if you don't see something you'd like, let her know so they can look into adding it to their shop. Safety products and information on car seat safety are available on their site, check out these SafetyTats you and your child will love. The gift registry is perfect for expecting Leakies looking for a way to let friends and family know about the natural products you'd love to welcome your newest bundle.

Healing Pixie - I have been a fan of Healing Pixie teas for quite some time so I was thrilled when Lisa was interested in becoming a TLB sponsor. She has a shop on Hyena Cart as well as Etsy. Teas, coffees, and spice blends, her shop is chuck full of delights to tantalize your tongue. My absolute most favorite tea is her Harvest Moon Chai, a warm mix of flavors that say "autumn" to me. Not that I only drink it in the fall, I like it far too much for it to be seasonal! I have 3 other teas from her sitting on my shelves plus a sample of her Supply and Demand tea, a breastmilk boosting combination that I actually like!

A heartfelt thank you to all the new sponsors that have joined The Leaky B@@b support. These sponsorships help make it possible for me to continue to give my time to encouraging breastfeeding moms and the people support them. Please show your support of TLB by clicking on their links and ad banners and consider giving them your business. Each and every sponsor currently on my blog is also an actively participating Leaky, I love that we have the chance to support one another. If you have a business and would like information about becoming a TLB sponsor check out this information and email me if your are interested in joining the team.

This Moment- Avocado and Pumpkin Smiles

2010-11-19T08:35:00.000-06:00

If These Boobs Could Talk- More Than Fun Bags

2010-11-16T17:25:00.008-06:00

I have finally found and understood my purpose in life. Most people never get that and yet, I have. And I'm just a pair of boobs.

B@@bies. Jugs. Fun Bags. Hooters. Tits. Ta-tas. Knockers. Rack. Bazongas. I've got a lot of names, a lot of incarnations, and a whole lot of varieties. Breasts, no matter what you call me, pretty much every woman has me front and at least sort of center on her chest. Perky, droopy, apples, melons, socks with rocks, long, full, short, floppy and everything in between, I've been bouncing along for as long as humans have traipsed around this planet. Which is a long time. But every woman has to figure out what to do with me at one point or another and it isn't always easy. It has been vogue at various times of history to leave me free and unfettered under clothing, to push me up and out, to bind me tight and flat, to pierce me, paint me, hide me and flaunt me. In some cultures I'm always out and open, others I'm so revered I'm covered yet a peek is desperately sought so much so there are men that will even pay money for it.

Before they have their own pair, every little girl at least notices that the adult version of herself has some sort of extra padding on her chest, something her male counterparts do not have. These chest pillows are fascinating and in today's western cultures a bit of an obsession. As little girls grow they start experimenting with what they'd look like with soft round growths on their chest. I am the mark of woman. Not alone in that responsibility, I share the distinction of being uniquely feminine with the female pelvis and vagina. With the exception of man-boobs. But for everyone's comfort, we'll pretend those don't exist, anywhere. Ever. Before I begin to develop on immature females, they play that I am there just because it is synonymous with playing a grown-up.

Then they sprout their own pair, slowly or quickly breasts eventually appear. Confusing feelings mingle with my advent on a changing girl's chest. Pride and excitement about becoming a woman collide with embarrassment and a desire to stay a care-free child. Eventually she learns that in western cultures breasts equal a certain kind of power, one she may not be comfortable wielding or one that is wielded against her. Her breasts may feel like a burden regardless of their size or like a defining part of her personhood that she can use to her advantage.

As for me, I was just an average pair of smallish boobs, situated on a small framed woman that often wished I was bigger. To make matters worse, one of my nipples was a split nipple, malformed and strange looking. Her dissatisfaction with my size and shape led to uncomfortable bras to pad me out and push me up and I endured criticism every time she looked at me in a mirror. No matter what I did, what I wore or how I participated in lovemaking, fashion and life she was unhappy with me. She never knew what to do with me and I never knew what to do with myself. I was inadequate.

Until one day. There had been change, I had grown recently but she still wasn't satisfied, now I managed to be too big or too... something. No matter what I wasn't good enough. My bigger size included painful growing and she was distracted by other physical changes that were apparently far more important than me, the neglected, the unloved ones. That is until that day. The uterus and vagina, in one of their greatest moments of achievement produced a baby. As the placenta left the uterus I got a signal, one that changed me forever: feed baby now. I had already been producing a golden yellow liquid for which I saw no purpose and caused her even further disgust in me but when that baby came out and was placed on the belly, I knew. Arms drew this small person close and the baby's mouth immediately began searching for something: me.

In no time it became clear that I was this baby's favorite thing in the world. Every chance she got she latched on to me. She loved me. She didn't care if I was perky or sagging, smooth skinned or flecked with red stretch marks, if I had large or tiny nipples, or even that one nipple wasn't quite right. She had a special sign for me, and that was the first sign she ever used. It took us some time, the 2 or really 3 of us, but it was really just getting used to each other and figuring out how this works. There were some rough moments, a few tears and frustrated words but we got it, we worked it out. We had to. Because this was what we were made for.

Now I have a position of respect and I am celebrated. Five babies now have been nourished by me, have searched for me in their sleep, patted me as they suckled and asked for me by their special name. I have comforted a small one hundreds of times over when nothing else would do. Through me has flowed the healing power of sweet milk custom made for the baby whose mouth opened expectantly. Small cheeks have rested on me in slumber after I have satiated their hunger and their need to be warm and close. When I am seen in the mirror I am viewed sometimes critically but always with appreciation and I am treated tenderly. My purpose is clear, everything else I do is nice and I enjoy a full and active life but nothing has fulfilled me as much as feeding a baby.

Some day this job will be done and I will no longer feed babies. I am ok with this; for when one finds and understands their purpose and the time in which it is served, one can accept when that time is over, satisfied in having discovered and served a purpose at all. Knowing that I was more than an inadequate pair of fun bags and meant the world to 5 little girls is enough for me.

Not every pair of breasts will find their purpose the same way I did but I hope more and more do. It doesn't matter what you call me, what I'm dressed in, what society says I'm supposed to look like or what my role is, I'm happy. I have been appreciated, loved and enjoyed for who I really am.

P.S. I love this video.

A Letter to Mommies and Daddies About Sleep

2010-11-12T16:10:00.003-06:00

Dear Mommies and Daddies,

Some time ago I saw a promotion for a breastmilk substitute that will help your baby sleep through the night. Sounds like magic, right? According to the formula maker's website (I kind of hate to link to it) this product is "Designed to gently thicken in baby's tummy and digests slowly for a natural way to help keep baby feeling satisfied." Doesn't that sound so perfect? If their dinner gently thickens in their tummy as they are sleeping, they won't feel hungry and won't wake up to eat and you, mom and dad, might actually get to sleep through the night! Hallelujah! Parents everywhere rejoice, you don't have to be sleep deprived!

Wait a second; gently thickens in their tummy? What does that even mean?

It means that there is a thickening agent in this product that actually bulks up the longer it is in your little one's tummy causing an artificial feeling of fullness, blocking the trigger between the tummy and the brain that says "WAKE UP! We need more nutrients, more energy, more food so start crying and get those big people to fill us up again!" While normal infant nutrition (AKA breastmilk) breaks down quickly making it easy for the body to absorb all it's nutrients and make quick use of the fuel needed to, well, grow, this product will keep junior feeling full hopefully for the entire night. So with this stuff sitting in their tummies getting thicker they won't get the signal that they need more nutrients and fuel for growing, instead, maybe they will actually let mommy and daddy get some decent shut-eye. Instead of waking their parents to feed them they'll sleep right through the times when they need to eat! YAY!

How the heck can that be good?

If your baby is waking often at night to feed it is because he/she needs to, needs the comfort, needs the nutrition, needs you and needs to wake up. I know it is hard but you can do this without filling your baby's tummy with nutritionally empty fillers so you can get more sleep. Babies that sleep through the night have an increased risk for SIDS. A baby that wakes often avoids staying long in the deepest part of their sleep cycle where they are mostly likely to stop breathing. The baby that wakes often is the one most likely to wake up at all. Read more about that from Dr. William Sears in New Beginnings, Vol. 16 No. 3, May-June 1999, pp. 68-70. Please note that I'm not saying it is a guarantee, just an increase in risk for babies that sleep through the night.

I get wanting a good night's sleep, I really do. When you're just so tired that you feel sick, on the brink of going crazy and you would do just about anything for a nap. When you worry that you can't be a good parent, spouse, worker, friend or anything else and you question if you should even be driving or left alone with your baby due to the overwhelming fatigue. In those times you need to get help, explore co-sleeping or bedsharing, get a sitter, take shifts but ask for help when you feel that tired. And hear this, it will get better. Some day, not as far away as you might think, you will look back and vaguely remember the sleep deprivation like a bad dream during one of the most beautiful times of your life. You know this already but I have to say it anyway: there are more important things than sleeping through the night. By all means, if it seems as if something is wrong such as your baby behaving as though they are in pain, then have your baby checked out and get her/him real help but don't mask a potential problem with an artificially full tummy. Eventually they will stop waking so often and you will get the sleep you so desperately need.

Sincerely,

Another Sleep deprived mommy,
The Leaky B@@b

This Moment- Bath Time

2010-11-12T09:21:00.001-06:00

A Tale of Two Preemies

2010-11-10T22:41:00.000-06:00

Leanne shares her story of journeying through her own physical problems and then her preemie daughters. The differences in hospitals dedicated to getting human babies human milk is highlighted in this touching story of struggling to get preemies the milk they so desperately need. I am honored to be bringing you this guest post and appreciate Leanne sharing her story. Leanne has a personal blog, No Spelling Required, and she would love for you to come say hi.

I believe that sometimes we, as humans, go against what is or should be possible. I am a prime example of that. Genetics has not been kind in my family. I've survived three genetic illnesses that are incurable. Two being autoimmune. Silent diseases that no one else can see, but I can always feel. I was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes when I was barely 5 years old. At the age of 17 I was then diagnosed with Grave's thyroid disease. 5 years later I had a secondary diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. It's been proven that people who suffer from one genetic, autoimmune disorder often suffer from another at some point in their life. I was also a rare case with the Grave's Disease because of my young age when it happened. Most people who get thyroid disease don't get it until they are into their 40's and 50's. The Diabetes I've always been able to deal well with. The other two illnesses, on the other hand, have wreaked a lot of havoc on my life, making me sick for years on end and also causing problems with my two beautiful girls.

My first had breathing problems due to being born early and having underdeveloped lungs. She spent about two weeks in the NICU back in '96 when she was born. Surprisingly enough, she came out of it with flying colors even through the horrid radiation treatment I received while I was pregnant with her. Her only mishap being that she had a heart murmur which had resolved itself by the time she was 6 months old.

Breastfeeding with Jordan was short lived. The hospital at the time had taken total control of her feeding "schedule" and immediately put a bottle into her mouth when she was no longer feeding from her IV alone. I never even had a chance to latch her on once. This is the happenings of hospitals bought out by formula companies. I tried repeatedly to get her to latch on and gave up quickly with lack of proper support and knowledge at the time to do much more to help her become used to breastfeeding. I pumped for a few weeks afterward and still felt it was useless because of how little I was able to produce at the time. Our entire breastfeeding relationship had been sabotaged right from the beginning. I was only 20 years old at the time and did exactly what I thought every mom eventually did anyway and of course started her immediately on formula. I regret every day that I didn't have the information I do now. I would have made sure I succeeded at the one gift I could have given her that was so very important.

After Jordan was born, I had also decided I didn't want to ever try for another baby as well. I felt like I had been through enough with her to have her be my only little star. In 2006 I knew I was never going to have more children and did something that, at the time, felt very right for me and had breast reduction surgery. At 5 ft. even and being a DD bra size, it was way too much for me and I wanted to finally be comfortable, therefore I went through it. For 3 years I was in love with myself all over again and felt great! Little did I know that last Christmas I had a small gift in the beginning stages of pregnancy starting. I found out two days before Christmas day that I was pregnant with my second daughter! I just about went through the roof when we found out. My first baby was now 13 years old! I had not expected this ever. Fate had different plans for me than to be only a mother of one though.

After the initial shock wore off, I spent many of my months of pregnancy doing a lot of homework, joining online mommy groups, and studying up on how I was going to attempt breastfeeding again after my reduction. I dove into this feet first and learned how much things had changed. I had the internet this time around to guide me and boy did I ever utilize this ability! The thought of donor milk and milk banks had crossed my mind after learning about them, in case I couldn't produce enough. I expected not to produce enough, but was adamant to make sure I was able to at least breastfeed a little this time around. Little did I know at the time how expensive buying breast milk was!

Sam and I ended up have little Zoe almost 7 weeks early because of my illnesses. Once again, I had another baby in the NICU. Only this time with many more problems and a much more intense situation. Zoe was born with thyroid issues as well. She was another very rare case. Something that almost NEVER happens to babies of women with thyroid disease did indeed happen to her and I. The antibodies that I still carry in my body, even after treatment, had crossed over the placenta and started attacking her thyroid gland. This is only supposed to happen with a woman who is actively hyperthyroid while being pregnant. I was not. My thyroid function has actually gone deeply the opposite way. I can no longer produce thyroid hormone at all on my own due to I-131 radiation treatment I had received during my first pregnancy. The case of this happening runs at only a 2% chance that the baby will be affected. That would mean about 1 in 25,000 babies would be born with Neonatal Thyrotoxicosis like Zoe was born with. The fact I was no longer hyper with my thyroid function makes this almost an anomaly type of situation as well and that much more of a rare case!

Zoe ended up spending a little over a month in the hospital to take care of these issues with her. My heart just aches for her and what she went through prior to being born and after as well. I remember having Thyroid Storm myself, and feeling like I was having a heart attack during the entire thing. The anxiety it creates, the rapid heart rate, palpitations, loss of hair, and weight, all things I remember all too well. To have to endure this when not even born yet, and have it affect you so badly your heart stops at birth as well as your breathing, it is so painful to my heart to know she had to go through this. It is painful to never know how a normal birth would have been for her or my oldest either.

The one wonderful thing about the hospital we had Zoe in was the milk banking they did. Huge amounts of stored breast milk donated by local mothers for all these NICU babies! I was petrified that I'd again be doomed to have to deal with formula pushers, especially after my previous experience. This time I came in knowing exactly what I didn't want though! I knew I wanted to breastfeed her exclusively for as long as I possibly could. I knew I'd probably have to supplement, but I wanted to her to have MY milk first and foremost! The hospital agreed! I was so shocked when the doctor started trying to talk me into signing the consent form to have donated milk given to her. I think I shocked him as well by grabbing his pen and signing the form before he even had a chance to finish what he wanted to tell me. The lactation consultants were also amazing. They knew the hard road that Zoe and I were facing with trying to produce enough milk after reduction. They did everything they could to keep me going with pumping for her while she was in the NICU and when she was finally able to start latching on, they continued with the amazement. Everything under the sun was tried to make this work for her and I including giving me my own SNS to supplement her with. The consultants, nurses, and doctors were all so diligent in helping us succeed in this. Zoe exclusively breastfed for a full month as well as she was on the donor milk. I will be thankful every day for having that hospital staff during her traumatic birth just for the fact that they were so supportive of all our needs and wants.

I eventually gave them the go ahead to start bottle feeding her my pumped milk as well when I could not be there for all of her feedings. As much as we mothers would love to move into the NICU with our babies, that's just not reality and there were times I had to go home too. Nipple confusion amongst young babies happens very quickly. It did indeed happen again in our case as well. I'm OK with this though. I had a choice to make, either feed my baby so she can go home with me finally, or salvage a breastfeeding relationship while she continues to be fed through her NG tube. You can imagine what my choice was immediately. I did choose the easier way out. I wanted her to be home with us, not stuck in the hospital for a longer period of time. I will not regret it. She did so well breastfeeding even only for the 5 to 10 minutes intervals that she did in her first month. For such a little baby, that is hard work! Born at 4 lbs. 9 oz. and weighing just over 5 lbs. when she was finally able to go home, I was so proud of her for trying so hard.

I continued to pump when I got her home. Eventually it became too frustrating for me to pump like crazy and only get, on average, 10 ml for both sides. I was taking Reglan from the doctors, Fenugreek, and eating oatmeal like crazy. I would produce the milk and become engorged like a mad woman, but never be able to get anything more than tiny bits at a time. Throughout a 24 hour period I'd pump just barely enough to fill a full 4 oz. bottle. It was too stressful at the time to continue to do this. I did give up completely. However, I was then on the search for a donor. Two weeks ago I finally found the lady for my little girl! A woman who had donated before to an adoptive mom and is willing to donate to Zoe all the extra that she gets. She fills her freezer up, and I come when she calls and take it off her hands. It's an amazing, beautiful gift that this lady has give Zoe and I and I could never be thankful enough to find someone like her to help us. It takes someone so very special to be able to part with something so personal such as breast milk. I am completely amazed every time I meed such a selfless person in my life such as this lady. She gives such a precious gift to my little girl of her own free will. For that, I am just plain thankful, again amazed, and completely honored.

Through all of this, and with the help of everyone who has in the past few months given so much to us, we are coming out on top. The antibodies of mine that invaded Zoe's tiny little body are finally starting to die off. Hopefully by the time she is 6 months old they will completely die. Until then, we will continue to care for her special needs and delicate situation. The amazing people who have joined us in keeping up with what's best for her will never ever be forgotten, even when I grow old, I will always remember. Zoe may not, but I will always be forever thankful!

All in a days eating- Guest Post on 3 Moms and a Kitchen

2010-11-09T18:19:00.000-06:00

I like food. A lot. With a family of 7 we eat a lot of it too. Fortunately, though you may think all I do is talk about breastfeeding, I cook and I enjoy it... most of the time. So I was honored to be asked to guest post over at 3 Moms and a Kitchen this week. Since I couldn't pick a recipe to feature I decided to do a sampling in a day's worth of cooking for our family. One of my favorite breakfast recipes that's done and ready to eat when you wake up, an iron boosting, protein packed dip for snack, a carrot salad that's a hit with our entire family, and a dinner straight from France, these are recipes are a big hit every time. Hope you enjoy!

This Moment

2010-11-05T03:00:00.002-05:00

This Moment- Fall has come

2010-10-29T11:15:00.000-05:00

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend!

KIDS EAT FREE!- PumpEase Organic Giveaway

2010-10-28T07:46:00.006-05:00

The beautiful Wendy of PumpEase is giving away a PumpEase Organic, to a lucky Leaky this Halloween weekend. And Wendy is willing to ship anywhere, it's a global giveaway!

PumpEase Organic is the world's ONLY organic hands-free pumping bra. Designed from a beautiful, unbleached and undyed knit fabric that was custom milled just for us from 90% certified organic cotton and 10% spandex, it has a wonderfully soft hand, making it a dream to wear!
Like our original hands-free pumping bra, PumpEase Organic features patent pending, 'no-stitch' horn openings, guaranteed to accommodate any breast pump on the market.

PumpEase Organic is as easy on the environment as breastfeeding is!™

To be entered into this give-away go to the PumpEase website and find your favorite product in her store, come back here after you've "liked" the PumpEase Facebook page saying "I like PumpEase" and let us know your favorite product Wendy carries in her store.

For an additional entry, share this give away on a social networking site such as Facebook, Twitter or a parenting board (Not TLB forums) and let us know how you shared it in another comment.

That's it! This giveaway is Runs from Thursday, October 28th to Monday, November 1st.

No trick, just a treat for those that just can't wait or are eyeing one of the other marvelous products on the PumpEase site, Wendy has given us an awesome and generous code for 15% off just for Leakies good through November 8th: LEAKIES15. Happy shopping!

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This Give-Away Is Now Closed!

Thanks to PumpEase and everyone that entered.

The winner is Randi K! PumpEase will need your shipping address could you e-mail me that information? Congrats and enjoy!

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Don't forget the 15% discount code available through the November 8th!

LEAKIES15

Thank you Wendy for your generous giveaway and support of TLB!

Nestlé Boycott Form Letter

2010-10-25T18:34:00.000-05:00

Is your family participating in International Nestlé-free Week: 2010? Mine is. I had intended to get a post up today I was working on about why my family boycotts Nestlé but for now you can read this from PhD in Parenting or read about what Nestlé did to deserve a boycott here. Please understand that while part of the reason for the Nestlé boycott does have to do with the way they market their breastmilk substitutes, the boycott is not because they make formula. Boycotting Nestlé is in no way a judgment on those that use Nestlé formula or any other formula to feed their baby.

So while my post on boycotting Nestlé isn't up yet I did want to share with you a sample form letter you can use to express your concern to Nestlé and inform them of your decision to boycott their products and brands. Please feel free to copy this letter and use it word for word or to modify as you see fit and sign your name on the bottom. Let's communicate to Nestlé that the world-wide boycott of their products is in no way over even after 30 years and that it has, in fact, revitalized and will continue to go strong until they make significant changes.

Letters may be printed out and mailed to the address below, e-mailed, or through the contact page on Nestlé's website.

___________________________________________________________________

Peter Braceck-Letmanthe

Nestlé SA

Avenue Nestlé

1800 Vevey

Switzerland

Dear Mr. Brabeck-Letmanthe,

It is with the utmost concern that I am writing regarding your business practices; specifically the regular violations of the World Health Organization's International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes, the use of child-labor by your cocoa suppliers and careless manufacturing practices resulting in environmental damage. As my family can not support such a lack of responsibility, we have chosen to boycott your products and brands and will continue to do so until independent evidence shows that Nestlé complies fully with the International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes. Furthermore, we will be actively educating our friends and family via word of mouth regarding the questionable practices and why Nestlé is one of the most boycotted companies in the world.

Mr. Brabeck-Letmanthe, I urge you to raise Nestlé to be a leading company of integrity, setting an example of global responsibility by changing the unethical, unhealthy and dangerous practices currently applied. Follow through with your claims of being a company that promotes nutrition [1], health and wellness; of supporting the United Nations Global Compact's guiding principles on human rights and labor with an aim to provide an example [2]; of practicing ethical leadership and personal responsibility [3]; of having a commitment to "protect employees, contractors and others involved along the value chain" [4]; of requiring suppliers, agents and subcontractors to demonstrate honesty, integrity and fairness" [5]; of a commitment to environmental sustainability "at all stages of the product life cycle" and "target zero waste" including "responsible management of the world's resources by all water users" [6]; and adhere to the guidelines of the WHO code of marketing breastmilk substitutes. When these claims can be verified by independent investigations my family and I will happily return as Nestlé customers. Until that time we will continue our boycott and encourage others to do the same.

Yours sincerely,

References:
[1] Nestlé Nutritional Profiling System via http://www.nestle.com/AllAbout/AllAboutNestle.htm
[2] Nestlé Consumer Communications Principles via http://www.nestle.com/AllAbout/AllAboutNestle.htm
[3] Nestlé Management and Leadership Principles and Nestlé Code of Business Conduct via http://www.nestle.com/AllAbout/AllAboutNestle.htm
[4] Nestlé Policy on Health and Safety at Work via http://www.nestle.com/AllAbout/AllAboutNestle.htm
[5] Nestlé Supplier Code via http://www.nestle.com/AllAbout/AllAboutNestle.htm
[6] Nestlé Policy on Environmental Sustainability, Nestlé Policy on Environmental Sustainability, and Nestlé Water Report via http://www.nestle.com/AllAbout/AllAboutNestle.htm

___________________________________________________________________

Nestlé tries to deny that the boycott has been going on for 30+ years. They also assert that they are a responsible company but their track record and independent analysis indicates otherwise. In an effort to recast their image, Nestlé has filled their website with green, health, and human rights buzz words but don't be fooled, they talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. Together we can hold Nestlé accountable.

Tomorrow look for more on the Nestlé boycott and how this will impact my family's Halloween as well as alternatives to Nestlé products and links with more information and brand lists.

8 Unexpected Benefits of Breastfeeding

2010-10-25T09:00:00.001-05:00

Though it is the biologically normal way to feed a baby not every one is sure about breastfeeding. The beauty of breastfeeding is often touted to encourage moms to give it a try because if they knew how amazing it is even the most unsure would at least think about breastfeeding. Everything from health benefits to ease of use, breastfeeding is praised for the dream infant nutrition system it is. These are good things and we should promote them but over the years I've discovered a few, shall we say unexpected benefits of breastfeeding? Sure, it's great that breastmilk can do things like reduce a woman's chance of breast cancer, boost a little baby's immune system, and even have stem cells in it but I bet you didn't know breastfeeding can be an orgasm alert! Oh yeah, there are some seriously good unexpected benefits from something so normal as breastfeeding. I'm going to do my part in encouraging women to give breastfeeding a go with 8 Unexpected Benefits of Breastfeeding.

1. The best excuse to sit around
Don't feel like making dinner? Gotta feed the baby! For the last 10 months I've made breakfast maybe a dozen times all because Smunchie needs her breakfast too and the next thing I know The Piano Man has coffee and either eggs and toast (or a frittata, yum) or pancakes going. Oh darn, sorry sweetie, I was planning on getting that started just as soon as I could. I was stuck on the couch feeding a poor, helpless little baby!

2. Escape plan A
Trapped in a conversation with someone you want to get away from? Oh dear, baby's hungry! I don't believe women need to worry about being discreet about breastfeeding in public but if one suddenly feels modest and needs to go sit some place quiet to nurse nobody will blame you and you can get away from the uncomfortable conversation with Whatshername Won'tstoptalking.

3. The kitchen fall back plan
Making pancakes but ran out of milk? No worries! And if you don't tell anybody they may all wonder what you did different that made your flapjacks so much more yummy. Don't tell them until after they're done though, seems even children that grew on your milk before can become squeamish at the idea years later. And hubs won't know if it's the creamer in his coffee either.

4. Bigger B@@bs!
It's true a woman's breasts usually increases in size during pregnancy and remains that way or bigger while lactating. You may not have ever cared if you got bigger boobs but it is still interesting to see them change, never a dull moment!

5. BUSTin' at the seams = SHOPPING!
Legit reason to go shopping, nothing fits right! Those bigger boobies need to be comfortable and showcased properly, get the attire to do it in style. Time to hit the racks or the online boutiques and buy yourself some stylish wear to dress the ladies in and it's totally real, you actually do NEED new clothes you can nurse in!

6. Weapons of mass destruction
Make me mad? Yeah, I wouldn't do that, I could whip one of these full C-cup babies out and with a little squeeze blow you to smithereens. Or at least get you wet and sticky. Don't put it past me either, you never know what will set me off.

7. Double Alarm- well, hello Big O.
Your partner not sure when you've have an orgasm? You'll boost his confidence when you come with a double set of sprinklers spraying all over the place. Many women experience milk spray from their lactating breasts when the orgasm. Don't let it rain on your parade, enjoy the new twist on doing the deed!

8. Cure-all in a cute package
Baby got a blocked tear duct? Squirt a little breastmilk in her eye. Diaper rash? A breastmilk rinse and then some naked time will clear that up in no time if it's not a yeast based rash. Cut? Ready, aim, squirt! You guessed it, a little spray of breastmilk on the area and watch it heal in record time. From acne to ear infections, breastmilk has amazing healing properties! People, it has stem cells in it, breastmilk is the stuff modern medicine wants to be when it grows up! And for more amazing health science on breastmilk try googling HAMLET (all caps) and breastmilk. Prepared to be wow'd.

9. Facebook/Twitter/Blog/Surfing time
I admit it, most of the time when I'm on some social media networking site I probably have a baby attached and if I'm lucky and she's really hungry I can stretch it long enough to get caught up on all the people I follow or even write a blog post. It's called NAK (Nursing At the Keyboard) but it could also be called NeTCFToN (Need To Check Facebook Time to Nurse) because how else would I find the time? A Leaky's got to do what a Leaky's got to do. (Are you a Leaky? Go like our Facebook page and join the fun!)

Oh rats, that was 9. Now it sounds like I just couldn't come up with one more for a nice round 10. Oh well.

Not only have my boobies given me healthy babies they've also healed rashes, bought me time to sit, and given me an excuse to shop for new clothes. There is a lot of wonderful stuff about breastfeeding and I'm a fan but even I don't love every second of every breastfeeding session. I tell you what though, I sure do love The Piano Man making me breakfast while I get my Tweet on.

TLB Gets a Little Support- Welcome PumpEase!

2010-10-23T11:07:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to welcome a PumpEase Hands-Free Pumping Supports as a new sponsor on The Leaky B@@b! Wendy, the mom behind PumpEase offers a wonderful product and has worked hard to build a company that supports breastfeeding moms. Wendy's been there so she knows what kind of support we need! See the cute little add on the right? She totally gets us moms and has a fun, funky, stylish look to her practical product.

As a sponsor, Wendy will be giving TLB readers a chance to win one of her PumpEase Organic hands-free pumping bra in an upcoming give-away so stay tuned but don't wait to get your own PumpEase until then. Check out her website for cute prints and other necessary and fun products, two of my personal favorites are the practical breastmilk storage guidelines fridge magnets (at just $2.50 every pumping and storing mom should have one of these! It could save you liquid gold!) and the tiny spurge-worthy Nursing Mother Goddess Necklace in stony turquoise. *drool*

Wendy was recently on The Dragon's Den, the Canadian version of The USA sow Shark Tank. Determined, stylish, and just a really cool mom, Wendy raised breastfeeding awareness just by going on the show to market her PumpEase. Check out the clip of her presentation!

Thank you Wendy for your sponsorship of The Leaky B@@b and the support you give breastfeeding moms everywhere!

This Moment

2010-10-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend!

Breastfeeding Hard?

2010-10-20T12:30:00.000-05:00

You had a baby. Somewhere during your pregnancy or maybe even before, you realized that the baby inside you was going to have to come out. Your fantasies up until this point had mostly been about round bellies, shopping for baby things and then, like magic, holding a tiny bundle of a person. Rosey and shiny visions where even the diapers are adorable. There may be moments of panic where a little voice freaks out in your head that you're going to be a mother. But it's exciting too. And then it hits you: you're going to have to get it out of you. Perhaps a movie reel begins in your head with sound bites of conversations you've either been a part of or you've overheard and soon you've created a composite of what you imagine your birth is going to be and it plays like a horror movie over and over in your head. Even worse, people may start sharing their own horror stories telling you about their births.

I've never understood this, by the way. See a glowing, beautiful, happy looking pregnant lady and let's tell her the scariest crap about birth ever. Because that's real sweet and encouraging. What kind of person does that and why? Sadists.

If TV, movies, and personal horror stories dominate our view and understanding of childbirth as a society then we have lost our birth culture. We have replaced it with a Hollywood version, a version of sensationalism and fear. It may be more entertaining but it isn't very inspiring. And so we lose the true culture of birth and replace it with something... other.

Then it happens. Hopefully you've prepared yourself by taking a childbirth education class by the time the actual birth rolls around and have replaced your horror film composite with positive birth images but either way, that baby is coming out. Regardless of how your little bundle is born, it's hard work and, let's be honest here, it changes you forever. Often during labor a woman will say "I can't" but then she does. When a birthing woman I'm attending says these words I know two things: she is probably close to the end and she already is doing it. You can't do this? You already ARE! Sometimes that is all we need to hear to release our fear, listen to our intuition and just do, just be. In labor you experience some of the hardest work of your life. Even if you get the drugs and you don't feel what's going on, your body feels it, your body does it and you bear the marks of the last leg of the journey toward motherhood. Home, hospital, birth center, unmedicated vaginal birth, epidural vaginal birth or cesarean, this experience births not only your baby but you as a mother as well. In this experience you discover that you, the mother you, is strong, powerful, courageous, beautiful, gentle, nurturing, determined, and so much more. You are any one of those things in any given moment. You are all of those things at once. You are Mother.

And just like that it is over. The journey towards motherhood complete. Now you embark on the journey of motherhood, a journey you will be on for the rest of your life.

Breastfeeding may be normal, it may be totally natural but it isn't always easy. Sometimes that catches us by surprise and our confidence flies out the window. When a new mom is at her wits end, exhausted and unsure, when she can't see what she has become on her journey to motherhood and now fear is all she hears, a new horror flick may begin to run through her head. This time it is about breastfeeding and she doesn't know it but she's been booby trapped (Best For Babes shares how). This new film is punctuated by an alarming number of sound bites from well meaning friends, family and strangers saying things like "breastfeeding is so hard!" "formula is just as good," "not everyone can breastfeed, I couldn't, you probably can't either," "what's your partner going to do if you breastfeed?" "If you put them on formula they won't have to eat so often, they must not be getting enough if they are always so hungry!" and the oh-so-supportive "you won't make it past a few weeks at most." Add in formula advertisements that promise brain boosting all-natural additives, claim to be perfectly formulated to meet your baby's needs, offer the allure of sleeping through the night, dish up precisely measured scoops so you know exactly how much your baby is getting and powder in a can sounds like the greatest fear and stress reducer available to new parents. Even worse, those fears can be handed a megaphone when inadequately educated experts; OBs, RNs, pediatricians, and even some midwives and lactation consultants are sometimes undereducated and perpetuate some common myths about breastfeeding and early infant feeding and growth. They tell her how, when, with what, in what way, how often what it looks like, what it sounds like, what it feels like, what it weighs like, what it charts like. In fact, the information may clutter things up so much a mom doesn't have the chance to listen to the natural desires of herself and her baby. She may be so distracted and worried about doing it wrong that nothing is going right. (I absolutely adore what Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, IBCLC has to say on an over-left-brained approach to breastfeeding)

Barring any true breastfeeding problems such as Insufficient Glandular Tissue (google it) or other legitimate problems, most of the time what a mother struggling with breastfeeding needs to hear is simply "You can do this. You ARE doing this." I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that breastfeeding isn't too hard for anyone. Is it hard? Yes, often it is, but I don't believe one single mother would find it too hard. No, what is too hard is battling lack of support, bad information, fear, societal expectations, and maybe even her own body. Sometimes a mom may want to give up, I know I have, but breastfeeding is not too hard. If you put your baby to your breast, if you hook yourself up to a breast pump, you ARE doing it. There is no guarantee that it will work exactly how it is supposed to every single time but most of the time it will. Even when it doesn't it isn't because breastfeeding is too hard, it's just the other obstacles that got in the way that were too difficult to manage.

Check out this list of 25 things that could be harder than breastfeeding. Bet you've done a few of these already.

Just as we have lost the true culture of birth we have lost the true culture of breastfeeding. When we believe that a what is actually normal, such as a newborn eating every 2 hours (taking up to 45 minutes or even an hour at the breast meaning all. the. time.) or the breasts feeling less full after a few weeks or months as the body regulates supply, when we believe these normal physiological developments are not normal and reach for formula as a first solution then we have forgotten the true culture of breastfeeding. (Christie Haskell over at The Stir has a post with pictures to demonstrate the size of a newborn stomach if you're wondering why a newborn does eat so often.) There was a time when instead of calling a lactation consultant about these issues women would have asked a more experienced family member. Don't get me wrong, I love lactation consultants, I just long for the days when they weren't quite so needed.

We should be honest about our breastfeeding experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly, and the funny too. However, let's not forget to tell the good and build moms up in their breastfeeding regardless of what becomes the primary source of nutrition for their baby. Breastfeeding may be hard sometimes but you've probably already handled harder. And for those of us that have come through breastfeeding challenges with positive and not-so-positive stories, we need to be bosom buddies for others.

So let me add my voice to the chorus of lactation consultants, breastfeeding support organizations, and the host of bloggers and say most women can breastfeed. Put your baby to your breast and you ARE breastfeeding! You go girl! Maybe, just a little, we can reclaim the true culture of breastfeeding.

I know that not everyone can or should breastfeed and I don't wish guilt on anyone that feeds their baby formula. There is not one single thought in my head that those that give their babies formula are somehow less as mothers or didn't try hard enough or are weak. I recognize that every situation is different and support all mothers in nurturing their children regardless of how they are fed. Still, I will continue to encourage breastfeeding and let women know that for most it's not only normal it's entirely possible.

25 Things That Could Be Harder Than Breastfeeding

2010-10-20T12:23:00.000-05:00

Is breastfeeding hard? With all the breastfeeding booby traps facing women it's no wonder so many give up or never even consider it. But unless she is one of the small percentage that physically can not breastfeed (google Insufficient Glandular Tissue, this and other real physical problems DO happen), when it comes to breastfeeding most women have already faced harder challenges and came through them stronger more resilient versions of themselves.

I asked the Facebook Leakies what were some things they have faced that were harder for them than breastfeeding. Out of the 51 comments only a very small few said breastfeeding was the hardest thing they'd ever done, most listed other physical and even a few emotional experiences way above the early difficult days of breastfeeding. Several said that most everything was harder than breastfeeding for them, it was just that easy in their experience- don't hate them those luckies! Considering that many women regularly have their hair pulled out of their skin with teasers plucking one at a time or wax ripping the whole kit 'n caboodle off at once, I seriously doubt there is much one could through at us that would be too hard.

25 Thing that could be harder than breastfeeding.
What you may or may not face or maybe even already have that is harder than breastfeeding or breastmilk pumping. Many thanks to the Facebook Leakies for this list!

Emotional and stressful situation challenges:

Depression
Isolation
Feeling overwhelmed
Deployments
Finding a balance between kiddos and being at peace with a messy house
Recovering from birth trauma
Relationship issues

Out of our own control Physical and Illness Challenges:

Morning sickness
Hemorrhoids
Urinary Tract Infection
Period cramps
Recovering from an emergency C Section
Food poisoning
Being sick while having to take care of a baby
Walking in the last month of pregnancy
Labor
Stubbing your toe
Stomach flu
Constipation
Lack of sleep
Sinus infections
Gallbladder pain
Episiotomy recovery or 4th degree tear
Back pain
Strep Throat
Kidney Stones
Tooth ache

Elective Physical Challenges:

Bikini wax
Tattoo
Running around the block (or running at all)

Please don't think I'm saying that women that don't breastfeed are wimps or that it being too hard is the only reason women don't breastfeed. I know this isn't true. I also know that any combination of these things could make breastfeeding not only very difficult but a part of a more encompassing difficulty. Sometimes though, if everything does work right we just need to see that while it may be challenging we can already handle hard.

Breastfeeding hard? Yeah, maybe sometimes it is. Bring it baby, women can handle hard.

The Red-Eyed Breastfeeding Monster- Mastitis

2010-10-18T14:28:00.000-05:00

Smunchie AKA Mastitis Relief Worker at 9 months old

She looked annoyed, as annoyed as a 9 month old can look. I gently shook my boob with my hand, hoping to tempt her but she just looked away as if she couldn't be bothered to eat right now. Obviously she had places to go, things to do, playthings to discover. Please eat, please, please, please nurse again I begged her. She all but scoffed at me. There was no need for the boob right now and we had clearly established long ago that if she needed it she'd ask for it. Offering it when she wasn't hungry or in need of comfort was just down right insulting. Biting back tears I mentally called her a brat and immediately regretted it, she wasn't a brat she just didn't need to eat right now and she knows how *this* works.

But I needed her.

This wasn't an emotional need, no, this was a desperate physical need. Early in the afternoon of that day last week I had the early signs of mastitis and by the evening it was full blown with a fever, aches, breast pain and red streaks across my breast. The help of my baby was crucial to my recovery. Since she wouldn't nurse at that moment I decided to hand express into a bowl of warm water. I nearly cried into that bowl too. The red-eyed breastfeeding monster had struck. Mastitis.

Mastitis is interesting. Not really, actually, it's quite painful. My friend describes it as a form of torture and thanks to my refresher this past week I'm inclined to agree. In talking to The Piano Man about it from the shower where I let hot water run over my breast for as long as I could stand it, I realized that a doctor would describe mastitis as "uncomfortable" and then would go on to explain the treatment measures as "uncomfortable" as well. Meaning: hurts like hell and will feel like someone is kicking you in the chest repeatedly and it's the only way to get better. I've been told I have a high pain tolerance but the truth is I would rather give birth au naturale than have mastitis. That may have nothing to do with pain levels however and just reflect the fact that I can be a tad bit goal oriented. Let me break it down for you.

Labor + child-birth = baby with a bonus that the pain and physical discomfort comes to an end.

Mastitis + frequent painful feedings and massage = get rid of infection and end the pain which hopefully won't reoccur.

It's simple math, I prefer labor.

Antibiotics are the commonly prescribed course of treatment for mastitis but I really wanted to avoid them given that the last time I had antibiotics I wound up with thrush. When I first suspected at 12.30 pm that Tuesday that the bra I wore was actually a little too tight (why the heck are these things still growing?!) and that missing a feeding on my right side was more than just uncomfortable (by my standards, not what a doctor would say) I immediately took my bra off and tried to convince myself that it would be no big deal once I nursed Smunchie. But the pain didn't go away. By 2 pm I was just feeling yucky and my breast hurt more. Still, I was in denial though I caught myself several times subconsciously massaging the painful breast and thinking "please don't be... please don't be..." I wouldn't even say the word in my head. Four o'clock rolled around though and it was starting to hurt to lift my arm, I ached in all of my joints and I just didn't want to even move. At 5 I finally said that I had the early signs of mastitis. Ha! Early signs my foot. Heat radiated from my breast and pale pink streaks snaked across it and up my chest, getting an angrier shade of red by the minute. I felt like I could barely move. When I took my temperature at almost a quarter after 5 it was over 100 and my boob was hot enough to sense the heat through my shirt.

Fine, I'm fighting mastitis I decide.

I took a hot shower, staying in there as long as I could. Feeling so terrible all over I sat down on the tub floor and shivered against the cold ceramic while hot water streamed over my right breast and I massaged from behind the painful area gradually moving the pressure down toward the nipple. Eyes glazed over with pain, Smunchie asleep and the big girls distracted with a movie (a rare treat on a week day in our house) I have no idea how long I stayed in there. Long enough for my butt to be cold and my chest and tummy red from the hot water.

The rest of my evening was a blur of near tears pain (I would have cried but didn't want to scare my daughters into never being willing to try breastfeeding their own children), breastfeeding, PB&J dinning courtesy of my 7 and 9 year old, getting hit in the sore boob with a wooden toy sword (I'm sorry, wooden knight armor is not welcomed to co-sleep with us right now!), a temp of 103, and desperate texts to The Piano Man at rehearsal:

"Come home soon..."
"When will you be home..."
"My boob hurts..."
"I'm not sure what to do about dinner."
"Can you leave early?"
"The girls are helping, they made dinner."
"There's PB&J all over the kitchen, sorry..."
"OMG I hurt all over!"
"I think the girls made dinner on the floor, sorry."
"I feel helpless..."
"I just feel so sick."
"I'm sorry I'm so whiney"
"Have you left yet?"
"Call me"
"My temp is 103.2..."
"I think I need to see a doctor..."
"What's worse than having a raging infection in your boob? Getting hit with a SWORD on the boob with a raging infection."
"Where are you?"
"I really can't take it any more."
"Please tell me you're almost done."
"I can't do this..."
"Can't even pick up my baby without horrible pain."
"You haven't called yet, does that mean you're not on your way?"
"I hope you're on your way..."

You may read those texts and think I was being melodramatic. Maybe I was. Or maybe you've never had mastitis.

The next 36 hours I breastfeed Smunchie as often as possible, I took hot showers and massaged my breast as hot water ran over it, I took more Ibuprofen than I did after I was in a car accident, I draped hot wet washcloths around my breast, I canceled everything and pretty much laid in bed for 24 hours, I ate PB&J made by my kids, I researched treatment options and read them multiple times praying reading them would somehow cure me, I nursed in different positions every feeding and sometimes more than one for a single session, and I seriously considered burning that bra. Sleep that night was fitful, I couldn't sleep on my stomach and for the first portion of the evening I couldn't stay asleep thanks to the fever. Wednesday morning there was no fever but still the red streaks and slightly less achy all over I had hope that I could beat this on my own. A low grade fever came back late morning but I hydrated, took a nap, put heat on it, did some hand expression, and breastfed Smunchie again and again and by the time 2pm rolled around I felt confident that I was out of the woods. By Wednesday evening I felt well enough to brave going into my kitchen and tackling sticky spots with a rag and some elbow grease from the girls' meal-time help. Thursday I was able to get back into my routine with only faded red streaks and some soreness in my breast to remind me of the previous 40 hours. I felt a bit like a survivor, like I felt when I completed a pregnancy mostly intact. There was a taste of bitter victory from having passed a test I wasn't expecting, a test that cost me even though I succeeded.

In the couple of days I pushed through mastitis I found myself thinking "I wish I could quite breastfeeding." Call me weak, point at me and question my commitment but when I felt so terrible I couldn't prepare a healthy meal for my other children and I knew that even if I kicked it this time there was no guarantee that I wouldn't get it again I wondered if putting the needs of my youngest not just above my own needs but above those of my other children was really worth it. Though I had signed on for sacrifice in becoming a mother 5 times over, was it fair that they had too as well? These thoughts aren't new to me, I have them any time I'm pregnant or any time I realize that we all do with less because we have more. The difference this time was that I had a community, education and experience that I would get through it that it indeed would be worth it. My friend Sue checked on me and took Lolie to ballet so I could stay in bed and my little online community gave words of encouragement, shared links and information, personal stories and tips and asked me how I was doing. Even for me, as an experienced breastfeeding mom of 5, I find a huge difference in my breastfeeding experiences between when I had very little support and when I had a lot of support. In our new way via the internet women have found the community that used to be present in our villages and families, swapping breastfeeding advice, reminding each other how it is, and troubleshooting from a well of experience that is as deep as it is fresh. While I don't think it makes up for in person contact and community completely I do feel it stands in the gap, a gap left by bad advice and marketing of formula to women that didn't need it a few generations ago. I love my little community. It is my hope that every breastfeeding woman can find a community that encourages and supports her breastfeeding.

Here are a few tips and some of what I did to help prevent my mastitis from getting worse and cleared it up. Please note that

"Heat, Massage, Rest, Empty Breast" if you even suspect mastitis, chant it with me... it's good to go ahead and start this protocol.

Heat. Moist heat- I liked to stand in a hot shower, or lie down with warm wet towels or a clean warm wet diaper wrapped around the breast, soak your breasts in warm water either in a bowl or in the tub.
Massage. Massage the breast gently, you may need some lotion or oil to keep from irritating the skin. The massage can help clear a plugged duct by starting behind the lump or painful area and massaging it down toward the nipple. This is particularly helpful following heat and done while the nursling is at the breast.
Rest. Rest is crucial, the body does most of it's healing repair work when we sleep. If you can, go to bed with your nursling, plan to breastfeed and sleep doing heat and massage in between. If you can't go to bed to stay for the day, set up an area for you and your nursling and other little ones that may need you. You need to rest so movies, drinks, snacks, books, toys, diapers, wipes, even a change of clothes for your nursling so you don't have to get up except to use the loo. If you work outside the home, treat this like the flue and call in sick. Trust me, if you don't at first you will be later and it will be longer and much worse. And doing housework is not resting.
Empty Breast. Breastfeed as often as your nursling is willing, start on effected side first each time and check for a good latch. Don't cut back on frequency, in fact, increase it if you can. Even though it may hurt more to breastfeed cutting back will only make things worse. If your little one isn't interested in helping as often as you need it, hand express or pump to keep the affected breast as empty as possible. Remember though, your nursling is far more effective at this than any machine will be. Use breast compressions either way.

Dress for Success. As soon as I feel pain or any hardness in the breast I change into soft, unrestricted clothing. I prefer PJs myself. Going topless is good too, particularly if you're able to stay in bed with your nursling.

Fuel. You still have to eat even if you don't really feel like it but you need it to give your body some fuel to work with not only to feed your little one but also to heal itself. Hydrate often to help your body fight back. If someone is willing to bring you food so you can stay in bed take them up on it even if it is just PB&J and you'll have to clean the kitchen later.

Medicines. Ibuprofen, seriously, I don't take meds often or easily but this helped get me through and the inflammation reducer was an important piece of my recovery. I did 400mg every 4 hours from pretty early on. If my symptoms had persisted without improvement for more than 24 hours or if I had become acutely ill I would have headed in to the doctor for an antibiotic. Remember, most antibiotics are safe while nursing but if you and your doctor aren't sure you can check here, here or here.

Herbs and natural options. Obviously, breastfeeding, massage, heat and rest are natural but there other options to try as well. I did green cabbage leaves, keeping them in the fridge and put them on for 20 minutes at a time but for no more than a couple of times in a 24 hour period. The coolness felt so good after all that heat too. I also greatly increased my garlic intake as garlic helps your body to boost it's own antibodies and beefs up your immune system. To get my garlic in I crush a few cloves raw on a baked potato, slather it with plain yogurt and sprinkle on some cheddar cheese along with salt and pepper and maybe some green onion. I also swallowed a couple of cloves cut in half. I didn't use any herbs this time around, just some Arnica but a few Leakies suggested Phytolacca and Pokeroot. I don't know anything about these but have heard good things, be sure to get the help of a trained professional before using any medicines and herbs. Lecithin can also help clear it up and help prevent it in the future. If I had ended up on antibiotics I would have upped my probiotic intake and completely cut refined sugar from my diet to minimize my chances with a candida yeast over growth. When Leakies started talking about Lactation Cookies on Facebook I didn't ask anyone to make me some and I didn't eat oatmeal or any other known galactagogue. While I didn't want to diminish my supply I also don't want to increase it as this could make things worse. So pass on the oatmeal until your feeling better.

At The Breast. Alternate feeding positions, I've been mostly using the cradle hold, so I mixed it up with some reverse cradle, football hold, side-lying, side-lying upside down (feet going in the direction of your head), baby sitting up in my lap, and hands and knees with Smunchie underneath me (think cow for this one) to name a few. And because I'm so devoted to breastfeeding education I even had a helper take pics of my on all fours showing off my stretched out belly (x5) and sick face smiles just to demonstrate this position. I was feverish and weak, this wasn't nearly as fun as it looks. And I apologize for the quality, since I wasn't feeling up to locating the camera these were taken on my phone.

Smunchie didn't mind our creative positioning

Dangle feed position for breastfeeding allows gravity to help drain the breast

Prevention. Sometimes the causes of mastitis are clear, others not so much. If you can identify why you developed the red-eyed monster destroyer of breastfeeding in the first place you can hopefully avoid it in the future. That bra? Yeah, I won't be wearing it again until my breasts have either gone down in size or I'm no longer breastfeeding. It's just not worth it. The La Leche League link below has a great list of possible causes.

I hope you are never a part of the 20% of breastfeeding mothers that know the feeling of mastitis first hand but if you do join our club (sorry) don't hesitate to go to your sister breastfeeding mothers for encouragement, help and advice. As always, be sure to seek medical advice from your health care provider in addition to reaching out to the sisterhood of breastfeeding moms. Whatever course of treatment works for you, the sisterhood understands and cheers you on and we totally understand the manic texts.

Some helpful information and resources for dealing with mastitis or a plugged duct that may become mastitis.

Kellymom's plugged duct/mastitis chart
Dr. Jack Newman on Blocked Ducts and Mastitis
La Leche League Mastitis-Plugged Duct information

Edited to Add: If you have any helpful links to share, please do so, I'd like to add them here.
The Breastfeeding Network (UK) PDF

Love and Nutrition At My Breast

2010-10-12T07:12:00.000-05:00

Today I am thrilled to have Cindy share her breastfeeding journey with her 4 children and the way it unfolds with each baby and how the whole family becomes involved.

The author, Cindy, nursing her son Alex at about 3 months old, 2002.

I don't remember ever seeing a woman breastfeed during my childhood and teen years. I must have been aware of the existence of breatfeeding, though, because I asked my aunt if she was planning to breastfeed her soon-to-be-born baby when I was 12.

She was about seven months pregnant, and she and my mom were talking bout the cost of formula. I piped up. "Why don't you breastfeed? It's free!" She looked shocked and said, "Oh, honey, I couldn't do that!"

A few months later I was with her after the baby was born. We went to the store to buy formula without my baby cousin; a baby cried in the next aisle and she soaked her shirt. She was mortified, but all I could think was, "well, looks like she could breastfeed. That's a lot of milk!"

I now have four children; my oldest is 8 and a half, followed by a six-year-old, a four-year-old and my youngest, who is three months old. Three boys and a girl. Let me tell you my favourite nursing memories for these amazing children with whom I have been blessed.

My oldest child, Alex, learned to sign as a baby, and his favourite sign was the one for milk (we used it for nursing.) He would run to me, little fist out, fingers pumping in and out, mouth open. I loved that. He would kiss and cuddle my breasts often.

Cindy nursing Alex after his baptism, Feb. 2002.

"I was 24 years old in this pic with my first baby, and so proud I was BFing!"

When he was about six months old, he and his daddy made up a breastfeeding game. Alex would latch, and Clayton would pretend he was going to steal the other "baba." Alex would immediately cover my other nipple with a hand and grin. If Clayton made it near the breast, he would laugh and push him away. They would play this until I kicked them both off my chest.

Alex once completely undid my shirt buttons at a restaurant when I wasn't looking. He wanted dessert, I suppose.

Isaac, my second child, was cuteness personified. As a baby, he would pat and caress the beast as he nursed. Once he was older, he showed his good manners by often offering the other breast to his brother or other children, the way you would offer to mix a drink for a friend. (Um, no thanks, Isaac, I'm not a milk bar!) He had a great sense of humour even as a baby, and would often try to nurse upside down as a toddler. When he learned to walk, he treated me like a drive-in, and always wanted to nurse while standing up.

Isaac at about 5 months, in the sling.

As a toddler and pre-schooler, Isaac "nursed" his dollies.

My pregnancy with Naomi, my only daughter, was not normal; I had hyperemesis gravidarum, a rare pregnancy illness that causes severe, unrelenting nausea and vomiting. I felt betrayed by my body during that pregnancy; breastfeeding started the healing process for me. My body could nourish my baby. It could work properly. I was not a failure.

Naomi at birth.

The first time I breastfed her, I was in the recovery room after my C-section, and the nurse had never seen a mother nurse ten minutes after surgery before. But my husband was holding her, and I was alert, so she was game. Naomi learned to latch perfectly; the nurses dragged new moms into my hospital room for days afterward so I could help them with latching.

Naomi was fiercely possessive of my breasts. They were HERS, and no one else better touch! Nowadays, she just wants her own set.

Edward was born in May, and is the only baby I've ever had who has baby fat and rolls upon rolls. After three slim babies, I'm amazed my breast milk can do that. Eddie has also been eager to teach me I don't know everything. He is the laziest latcher ever. EVER. He will open his mouth into a rosebud and expect me to stuff the nipple in. Um, no, Mr. Man. Open that mouth.

Edward's first latch!

It's funny how breastfeeding a new nursling brings back forgotten memories of the others before, I had forgotten that funny sound of expectation babies make as you get the breat out, the "ahuh, ahuh, ahuh" just before you offer the breast. I forgot about the funny satisfied sounds, too, as they drink the milk, "hmm. hmm." Nursing Eddie means I can relive it all again, and remember my big kids when they were tiny and helpless and got their love and nutrition at my breast.

It also means the older children can watch exactly how well-loved they were as babies. It's funny, breastfeeding is so normal for Alex that he will get right down and kiss Eddie with his own head touching my breast, and he doesn't even think about it. Giving my oldest son these memories of breastfeeding is gratifying. I know that if he has children one day, he will support and love his wife as she breastfeeds, and think nothing of that, either.

A Letter to the World about Public Breastfeeding.

2010-09-29T12:33:00.000-05:00

Dear World,

I'll keep this short and sweet.

Please stop sending mixed signals. We tell women that "breastfeeding is best", we tell them to do it but then we ask them to hide like it is shameful, kick them out of places for breastfeeding and say stupid things like "I don't want to see THAT" or "plan ahead and pump." Cut it out. Stop the double speak. Get over your fear/sexual obsession with breasts and let a mother care for her child as nature intended because, I've got to break it to you, feeding babies is what boobs are for and everything else is just a nice bonus. Just think about it, if you wouldn't think it inappropriate for a woman to give a bottle then it isn't inappropriate for her to be breastfeeding with or without a cover. Mothering is hard enough without you projecting your issues onto moms and their babies.

Get over yourselves please.

Even Sesame Street gets that breastfeeding a baby isn't a big deal, sometimes I feel like a lot of you need to go back to preschool.

Again, get over yourselves please and let a woman take care of her baby giving that "best" you're so into.

That's all I have to say about this. Today anyway. I just had to get that off my chest. Now I'm going to go whip my boob out and feed my baby.

Love,

The Leaky B@@b

P.S. Breastfeeding moms will not be bullied. We're educated, fierce women that WILL protect our children and meet their needs. Thank you.

Breaking up

2010-09-23T11:44:00.000-05:00

Dear Vintage Style Beautiful Green Tweed Pumps,

I'm afraid this is good bye. I never intended to part like this, if ever at all but sadly, I suppose all good things must come to an end and seeing as my toes now press uncomfortably against you, this is the end. A sad and tragic parting of what was once a beautiful relationship.

It's not you, it's me. Things change, people change, feet change. Particularly after pregnancy. I was warned but I didn't heed the advice of all those naysayers telling me it wouldn't work, that my feet would probably get bigger and be too much for you to handle. My feet are now bigger than you and I know you don't mean to but you're hurting me, stifling me and crowding my freedom to run and dance. You can't help it, it's just the way you are. So it's over, we're done. I'm so sorry, you just can't stop change. And I've changed but you haven't.

We had 7 good years, the first 4 were really great and you and I went through a lot together: office drama, fundraising dinners, date nights at cute little bistros, so many memories. I will never forget spotting you in that chic little boutique consignment shop in Montrose. Love at first sight. Adorable and vintage, you seduced me with a great price and classic style. I pictured myself the crisp librarian type, coquette and studiously fun. Flirting with you for a while I knew almost instantly you'd be coming home with me. Even though it was obvious that you had a few flaws and would be inflexible to a fault perhaps in your structure, it all just added to your charm. So I brought you home and our love affair began. How I loved you. It became clear over time that we couldn't shop together, that always ended in disaster and dancing was such drama from you that I always made sure to choose a different partner. But we made it work. Compromise was the name of the game, I knew your strengths and weaknesses and you knew mine. Eventually though, specially after baby #4, we just started growing apart. I admit it, I used you only for work, to get something done. If I wanted fun I reached for another pair, never you. I'm sorry, it was just that I couldn't enjoy myself with you like I once could. Flip flops understand casual, sneakers know what I need for support, and strappy sandals totally get being cool and having a good time.

I tried to make it work even when we both had to admit things were awkward and uncomfortable when we were together. Really, I tried. It just didn't work. Then came totally sexy, amazing killer heels and I just stopped trying. I know that is what killed us. But I couldn't help it, they are a full size bigger and were $2 at a yard sale and made my heart go pitter-patter. How can you compete with those curves? That height? The alluring toe cleavage? That bling? Call me a cheap hussy, fine, but I have to be true to myself. I'm in love even if I know they aren't good for me. Today I went out with you for nostalgia's sake but it was then that I realized we really are over. I'm sorry.

You'll get over it, you'll move on, I know you'll be fine. There happens to be an 11 year old I know that I think could be ready for her first real relationship with an amazing pair of shoes. We'll get to see each other once in a while, I hope we can still be friends. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

Sincerely,

Jessica

Lactivism: What's the Fuss?

2010-09-22T17:26:00.000-05:00

In my post Oh My Gosh... I'm a LACTIVIST! I took a humorous look at my discovery that I am, in fact, a lactivist. Today I share a more serious look at lactivism in a guest post from Krista, lactivist, mom to 4, photographer, WAHM behind Katie's Closet, a bouncer (moderator) on TLB forums and so much more. Normalizing breastfeeding is worth the fuss.

These days I find myself scoring magazines for formula ads and grocery isles for pictures of babies on formula cans. I have vowed not to renew a subscription to a favored magazine , sent emails and written letters. I have reported violators of the WHO Code of Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes to Infact, a company that lobbies for change. I know I have friends and family who think I take the whole topic too seriously, but I can't help it.

In Grade 11 economics class my teacher explained that social change is brought about through a pendulum of ideals. You have the people on one side who are opposed to change, those in the middle who would like to see some change, agree with it in theory, but don't want to rock the boat and the people on the far side who are passionate about bringing forth change at whatever cost. These are the women who burned their bras, lobbied government for the right to vote and refused to take the backseat on the bus. The status quo in such an issue has the pendulum to the far right, where it has always been. An object at rest stays at rest. It takes the force of those who are passionate to swing that pendulum as far left as they can so that eventually it will land in the middle.

Do I believe that formula should be by prescription only? Not really. I think formula serves a roll and there are babies who have benefited from it. But I don't mind hearing the idea tossed around. It gets people thinking. The same with the celebrity who was quoted as saying breastfeeding should be law. Such a law isn't practical and it certainly isn't desirable, but go ahead and make the statement. It might start a discussion. Nursing in public? Oh yeah. Let's get women out there flashing so much booby that eventually no one blinks an eye.

So I stand up and I make a fuss. If everyone were to stand by silently and hope that one day all babies will have the opportunity to be breastfed, then we would be standing for a long time. I want to be one of the people who helps pull, push and drag that pendulum to the middle. Where breastfeeding is normal, acceptable and no one ever, ever considers it gross.

Because it could be my baby

2010-09-19T13:21:00.000-05:00

Certain things are supposed to happen a certain way. We can accept, if begrudgingly, that sometimes things don't go as they are "supposed" to, we can make allowances for the times when a curve ball is thrown and we swing hard only to strike. For many of us, when it comes to breastfeeding, that's what formula is for. When what is supposed to work doesn't.

But did you know that formula is the 4th and last option the World Health Organization recommends as a substitute for a mother breastfeeding? The WHO ranks infant nutrition in this order: 1) direct breastfeeding; 2) the mother’s pumped or expressed milk in a bottle; 3) another mother’s donated human milk, and 4) artificial breastmilk substitute.

Look a little further into breastmilk it's not difficult to see why. From lower infant mortality rates to a marked reduction in SIDS, from lower childhood obesity to disease fighting antibodies, from optimal nutrition to increase protection against allergies, and new studies showing that stem cells are present in breastmilk as well. And then there are the risks associated with formula feeding. With all this and then some, it is no wonder that donated breastmilk ranks higher in priority for infant nutrition than artificial breastmilk substitutes, AKA formula. So when things don't work how they are supposed to, for whatever reason, and pumping isn't a viable option, again for whatever reason, then before reaching for formula the World Health Organization recommends families find donated breastmilk.

The problem is how difficult it can be to get donated breastmilk as Karen shared in a guest post not too long ago. Whether it be via milk banks through such organizations as The Human Milk Banking Association of America or informal direct donation as found through places like MilkShare, there simply isn't enough donated milk available. And the price can be prohibitive even through direct donation if shipping is involved. This further complicates the problems of what was supposed to work, not working.

I am a milk donor. I have 4 milk babies and all of them came to their families through adoption and though their mommies tried, they were unable to induce lactation or relactate to a point to fully meet their babies needs. It has been an honor to assist these families and something I am proud of. All of my milk donation has been through informal, direct donation. Sometimes the need is because of adoption and sometimes it is for physical reasons where the mother is unable to breastfeed or has insufficient milk production. This past week I read several stories from families needing milk but one in particular stood out: a father looking for donated breastmilk for his newborn baby boy. This mother had planned to breastfeed when her son was born at the end of August and she did, for 6 days until she died unexpectedly in her sleep. Now, to honor his wife's wishes and to do the best he can for his son this father is looking for donated breastmilk. MckMama blogs about the situation, her emotional response to it and drives this father's plea further in her blog piece "The Post In Which I Ask For Your Breastmilk" asking for more lactating women to step up and help this family get the milk this little boy so needs. When I read this story and others, my mind jumps to the bags of frozen milk in my freezer and I wonder if I could increase my supply to meet these needs. Somehow, some way I want to personally provide every baby in need of breastmilk with enough milk to meet their needs. Even as I write this my eyes fill with tears again because of this tragic situation and as I fight the sting I realize something.

I donate because it could be my baby.

Because it could be my breasts that didn't produce enough or even any milk.

Because it could be my baby born in my heart but came from the body of another woman.

Because it could be my breast surgery done when I didn't think about breastfeeding my future babies.

Because it could be my baby born too early or with other complications and it could be my breasts don't produce enough through expressing and pumping.

Because it could be my health failing, it could be my heart surgery, my cancer, my complications.

Because it could be my family grieving my death and my husband looking for milk for my baby.

Because it could be my baby that needed the milk of another woman and I hope it would be there.

A few months ago a friend was very close to having her little boy and she sent me an e-mail asking me a favor: should she die would I please help her husband find breastmilk for their new baby? I wanted to tell her not to think like that, only positive thoughts going into birth but something held me back. The pure honesty in admitting a fear that I have pressed down in myself demanded an honest answer. Yes, I would do it. I also told her that I understood her fear. Because I do. In that moment all the statistics in the world don't matter, what matters are the ones that will become the reality for you family, for your baby. And you need to know there are provisions should you need them. Because it could be your baby.

In the case of my friend, she and her little guy are doing well and I am grateful I did not need to help her husband find donor milk for their son. This other family was not so fortunate and they do need donor milk. As do many others. There are far more babies who do not need donated breastmilk than do but for those that are in need the difficulty and expense in finding human milk can be too much. For these families to follow the recommendation of The World Health Organization and get donated breastmilk for their babies we need more donating moms. Have you ever wondered for even the briefest moment if your baby was getting enough milk from your breast? Have you ever been concerned that your health or medications you require could prohibit you from breastfeeding? Or have you ever let your mind wander to the fear of you not being able to get to your baby in the case of some kind of disaster or emergency? Then you can understand a fraction of the worry a mother or father with a baby in need of donated breastmilk. If you are one of those mothers or fathers please know that my heart, and my milk, goes out to you. To any woman currently lactating or will be some day, would you consider adding even just one pumping session a day into your schedule to help out these families? If you respond well to expressing your milk, please consider becoming a milk donor either through safe direct donation or by becoming a screened milk donor with a milk bank in your area. Anyone with milk already stashed in your freezer but more than you require, please explore the possibility of sharing that milk if it isn't more than 6 months old, passing it on to another family in need. If you are interested in helping the family whose story I shared briefly here please follow the hyperlink to MckMama's blog for more information and check out this information on shipping frozen breastmilk if you are not local to that family or have found another family in need of milk but not in your area. Because it could be your baby.

Every human baby deserves to have the normal nutrition for a human infant: human breastmilk. To every lactating woman, past, present and future that has ever shared or will ever share even a drop of her milk with another woman's baby I thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Whether you give through safe direct donation or through an established Milk Bank such as one approved by the Human Milk Banking Association of America, I thank you.

Because it could be my baby.

Please note:
For families looking for milk, it is important that you be informed on the potential risks of receiving breastmilk through informal donation vs. a recognized milk bank when making your decision.

Save My Nipples!

2010-09-18T09:41:00.000-05:00

Krista, talented and super sweet WAHM behind Katie's Closet, sent me one of her Nipple Savers to help a distracted Smunchie on the b@@b and hopefully spare me some rubber-band-nipple experiences. Fun, bright and simple, we love our nipple saver and it quickly became more than just a nursing tool. Three bright ribbons attached to a little clip turn out to be one of Smunchie's favorite toys. I try not to use it too often because I don't want her to get bored with it but I clip it onto our carrier if she's going to be in it for a long time to give her something to play with, I've clipped it to her little activity bar, and of course, my shirt when she's eating. She loves it!

Ok, she really does love it but the only shots I got of her smiling and playing with it were blurry. I'm not so good at the one handed photography.

Now for the really cool news: Krista is offering a weekend blitz sale just for members of The Leaky B@@b. She's not going to be at her computer this weekend and is offering a 10% discount for any orders that come in between now and when she turns on her computer Monday morning. Great time to pick up a new Nipple Saver and don't forget they make excellent inexpensive and fun but practical baby gift too. To get the discount, when you order be sure to say you're from The Leaky B@@b. Happy shopping!

The Best Laid Plans

2010-09-15T18:08:00.000-05:00

Today I'm so pleased to get to share this guest post from Maureen Alley, a regular on TLB Facebook page and forums. A real life story of making plans, seeing them change and learning to adapt. Struggle, hope, reality, and support all play important roles in her tale. We need to hear more stories like this, I hope you love it as much as I did! Maureen originally wrote this for a blog contest on Mommypotamus and I appreciate the opportunity to share it here and as always, if you have something you'd like to submit for a guest post just e-mail me at theleakyboob@theleakyboob.com.

I had a plan. I had a couple different plans, actually. There was one for the year leading up to getting pregnant—switch to organic foods and all natural soaps and lotions—and there was a plan for during the pregnancy, which was all about glowing, gentle yoga, and cute maternity clothes. I had a birth plan too, of course, which involved no drugs, perhaps a water tub, and a general celebration of birth and my body’s abilities. I also had a plan for after the birth day, which was a bit vague. (I knew it involved breastfeeding, but I didn’t think much beyond that.)
Everything was going according to plan, right up until about the tenth week of pregnancy. I had a blood test that showed elevated levels of hormones, which hit my internal panic button. In an effort to allay my fears, my OB sent me in for an ultrasound. My husband and I were waiting anxiously to hear the confirmation that our baby was ok, and there was nothing to worry about.

“Do twins run in your family?”

I didn’t think much of the technician’s first question. I figured it was routine, something she asked everyone. So I answered, “No, why?”

“Because I see two babies in there!”

At first, I thought that exhilarating news meant the end of my best-laid plans. My OB began tossing around words like “elevated risk”, “c-section”, and “prematurity”. I realized that I had two choices: I could acquiesce to her plan for me, or I could find a way to create a better reality for myself and my babies. So, I signed up for a natural-childbirth class, fired my old OB and found a new one, one who had conversations with me instead of talking at me.

I attended my childbirth classes, Le Leche League meetings and kept practicing yoga. I befriended a midwife, and collected positive twin stories. I got acupuncture, prenatal massage, and super-fruit smoothies. I visualized the birth I wanted, I talked and sang to the babies who were stretching my womb and my imagination. I woke up every day of my second trimester smiling and rubbing my burgeoning belly. My original plan was altered but still basically intact.

Because my husband and I decided to stay within the medical establishment, I also saw a perinatologist. He was a specialist in caring for mothers of multiples, and he won my trust with honest answers to my copious questions. So when Dr. M dropped the “b word”, I listened. Bed rest?! Bed rest would ruin my hope for an active pregnancy, but I decided to plan for it accordingly. I squared away everything at work, found a substitute for my class, and checked up on my short-term disability policy. I honestly thought that if I worked so hard at preparing for bed rest it would never happen. However, right before I hit 24 weeks, I was put on modified bed rest due to a structurally unsound cervix.

I was devastated at first, but I decided to roll with the punches and enjoy the quiet weeks I had before my babies arrived. I had a lot of weeks to go, but I truly enjoyed my first Friday of bed rest. I rested, reflected, and fidgeted. I was feeling “off”, but attributed that to the fact my professional life had just ended for awhile and I was anticipating being bored. I spent that Saturday turning and readjusting myself on the couch. I was irritable and short with my husband. When, around seven pm, I started cramping in my low back and getting a feeling of heaviness in my uterus, I called my midwife friend. I explained how I was feeling and she told me to go the hospital. Really? Well, if the midwife-who-hates-hospitals tells you to go, you go.

Once at the hospital, getting hooked up to a contraction monitor was the first step in a nightmarish journey through pre-term labor. I learned all about—and experienced—terb, mag, and the chilling dread brought about by a visit from the neonatologist who told us what to expect if our boys should be born so devastatingly early. At this stage, all my energy and focus went inward, to convince my body to keep those precious baby boys on the inside. They were not done cooking, and I was determined to let them finish.

For the next ten weeks I stayed still, literally and figuratively. I prayed and bargained and hoped against hope that we would make it to 38 weeks. I kept up the visualization, but after every subsequent visit to the labor and delivery floor, every new plunge of the needle, every time I hooked myself up to the home contraction monitor, I grieved for what I was losing. I knew I would not have a peaceful drug free birth. I had lost the pregnancy I wanted, but I still had my babies, and for that I was grateful with every fiber of my being. I clung so hard to that fact that I didn’t allow myself to feel much else.

Just before I hit 34 weeks gestation, I had to go back to the hospital. Never in my wildest dreams did the drugs not work. All of my imagined scenarios told me that if I had to be readmitted, the magnesium sulfate would work and the contractions would stop. This time, they did not. I was delivered of my babies on February 9, 2010 at 2:07 and 2:08 pm via c-section. It was everything I did not want. The next three weeks were a blur of pain, hormone-driven despair, leaving my babies in the hospital NICU when I was discharged, endless visits to that very same NICU to see my babies, and pumping.

My mother—my angel, my guide, my support, how many names do we have for mother?—made me pump my breast milk for my babies every two hours, day and night. My supply soared, and I delivered the “liquid love” faithfully to the nurses to give my boys. I latched on to breastfeeding as eagerly as a baby to a breast. It was the one thing I had left, the last shred of my plans that I could accomplish. I was grieving the loss of the pregnancy and the birth I had so desperately hoped for. I realize that this may sound selfish or petty. My babies had been born successfully, and barring some serious reflux issues, were healthy. I had everything to be joyous about, but try telling a post-partum mom how to feel! It would have been easier to scale a mountain than regulate my feelings at that point.

Pride was one positive emotion that permeated the cloud. I was so proud of being able to pump 6 ounces per session! My husband and I learned how to feed premature babies from slow flow bottles, and we brought each of them home in due time. My babies were getting optimum nutrition, but I still felt something was missing. That something was undoubtedly sleep, but it was also a stronger bond with my babies that I was craving. Finally, one day my mom told me, in essence, to “Sit down and nurse your babies.” Their mouths were big enough at this point, and they were more than eager. By some miracle of chance, there was no nipple confusion at all. Both of my squally squirmy squeaky baby boys took to the breast like pros. Because they were! They wanted the comfort and fullness of mama’s breasts. And it gave me unspeakable joy to give it to them.

Maureen's little guys at 7 weeks, already defending their b@@b and nursing like pros!

I nursed my babies when they were hungry, when they were sleepy, and when they were hurting from the reflux. Nursing became the only thing that soothed my fussier twin, so we had marathon nursing sessions, the longest of which was four hours straight. I was a zombie shell of a woman, but my children were thriving and growing. I was a mama.

Now, seven months into this crazy adventure, I am still nursing my boys, day and night, although we are all sleeping more. My confidence grows with each day, as do my boys. I have become very adept at juggling two wiggling bodies when it’s time to nurse, and I’ve managed to accomplish tandem feeding just about everywhere we’ve been, including in the (non-moving) car and on the beach. But my favorite nursing sessions are the quiet ones at home, with both boys snuggled around me like commas. Their sighs and hums are my favorite music, and my heart melts every time one of them stirs to check and make sure I’m still there before drifting off again. The miracle of hormones, those that I cursed just a few short months ago, is that nursing makes me feel so good. The love-chemicals get released each time one of my boys latches on and they go to work, easing the tension of the day and softening the ragged, visceral edges of my memories of the early days.

I didn’t get the pregnancy I wanted, and I certainly didn’t get the birth I wanted, but I got the children I dreamed of. I got two healthy, happy boys, and I get to nurse them every day. Breastfeeding has eased my heart while providing for my children. I am lucky, I know I am. It couldn’t have worked out better if I had planned it…

Still going strong!

By any other name

2010-09-14T22:33:00.000-05:00

My family today.

You may notice that I use nicknames for my family or perhaps that we don't actually call our eldest "Earth Baby" and my husband's name isn't "The Piano Man" comes as a shock to you. In your head I'm actually chasing after Squiggle Bug all day calling "Squiggle Bug!" Though I hate to disappoint you, the truth is we all have recognizable legitimate names that would actually flow a little better in real life. It's not that we're trying to keep our identity a secret, obviously, you can fairly easily find our real names and our photos are all over the blog. I just wanted to keep some amount of distance between this online world and the world we, particularly our children, interact in on a regular basis.

My family before there was a Smunchie.

So how did I come up with these names, these terms of endearment for my family in the blogsphere? Allow me to share how I named my family.

The Piano Man. Sexy, right? He is, totally. But that's not why I picked it for him. I've called him "The Piano Man" for a long time though previously only in jest. The night we met he was tearing up Rachmaninoff in the practice room on one of the grands reserved for piano majors on the 4th floor of the Donne Music Building. He was casually pounding out such a bombastic rendition of the genuis' composition that my poor little Bach piece didn't stand a chance. I could barely hear what I was practicing due to the sound bleeding through the thin walls of the old building. So I got up to see who was making the ruckus. The rest, as they say, is history. One that includes me changing my major to vocal performance and him being my accompanist. I used to sing the song to him... play us a song, you're the piano man... Then I married him and he was my piano man. Today he teaches piano and plays for several groups and churches and occasionally he'll play for me to sing. I still like that Billy Joel song.

Can you say: awkward wedding picture? Yikes. Big yikes.
But he's always been my piano man.

Earth Baby. Our eldest daughter is 11 years old and bears a very serious and mature sounding name filled with romance. It fits her well. But so does Earth Baby. She loves the earth, far more aware of nature and being in harmony with the earth's rhythms and creatures far more than I did at her age and sometimes even more than now. Insects, gardening and caring for the environment have interested her since she was very small. I will never forget how when she was 4 she was playing during a rain shower in the courtyard of the house we lived in at the time and had collected worms and snails and had them all over her, climbing her arms and holding them like pets and proudly came in to show me. *shudder* She is my Earth Baby.

Earth Baby and Smunchie.

The Storyteller. I'm not very creative with these names. Every night as they are in bed, The Storyteller weaves an elaborate and ongoing tale for Lolie and she tells it with mystery and confidence. Anyone that has heard one of her tales is drawn in. I truly believe she has a talent for storytelling. Interestingly enough, she also makes every little thing she feels she needs to tell you into a story but those are rarely as captivating. She is also a fantastic liar though I would never admit that to her and by now I'm onto her and can spot her lying from a mile away. The Storyteller always has a story tell, whether you want to hear it or not. She will talk your ear off.

The Storyteller. She looks like she's about to get into mischief.

She probably was already into mischief here.

Lolie. When I started thinking about nicknames for my family as I wrote about them in my blogs I got stuck on this one. The others were either obvious or already in use. Everything I came up with was either too close to her real name and was used around home or it just sounded like I was trying too hard. I wanted something whimsical and sweet, fun and dreamy with a bit of spunk. A name that suited her. Nothing worked and I asked for input. She wasn't sure but started throwing out insect names probably because I already had Squiggle Bug. Our nickname for her before she was born didn't seem to fit any more so we pondered one day while outside. She found her favorite critter and called Squiggle Bug to come see the Roly Poly. An excited Squiggle Bug squealed with delight as Lolie let it crawl over her hand and arm (what is with my kids and letting things crawl on them!) and then jabbered "I love lolie-lolie!" We decided that Lolie would be the nickname for her. It fits perfectly, she loves it and even calls herself by that name sometimes.

Awwww! Isn't she sweet? My darling 7 year old dreamer.

And we even have a shot of the inspiration for her nickname.

Squiggle Bug. That was her name before she was born though only in private, I rarely let other people know I have an endearing nickname for my growing babe and we don't share their real name with anyone, ever until they are born. I continued calling her that even after she was born though it started to vanish around a year or so. Though I wasn't using it much the affectionate name still described her well, she moves a lot. As in all the time. We do some partial bed-sharing and sleeping with her can be a sweet cuddly treat but it is always a wild one. She loves to dance and I'm not exactly sure but I suspect that her moves are exactly what a Squiggle Bug looks like when it moves. The nickname returned when Smunchie was born and I used it with the new baby once. Everyone remembered who it had belonged to first and it experienced a revival that continues today.

Squiggle Bug at 2.5 years old.
The only way we could get her to not run screaming from the camera was to give her my mirror compact.

Smunchie. I think I started calling her that to myself during the pregnancy. I had an anterior placenta and it made it difficult for me to palpate her position sometimes further complicated by her stubbornly occiput posterior positioning. As I would trace her outline from her head at my pubic bone up around my belly I would ask her how she was doing, if she was srunched, if she had room to maneuver into a better position. Somehow "smunched" came out one day. I continued to use it, calling her Smunchie. When she was born she was the shortest of all our girls and when she had difficulties growing she really did look, well, smunched. Her difficulty growing led to some interesting breastfeeding experiences and I would ask my sleepy little girl if she was a munchie smunchie. I'm pretty sure I called her Smunchie more often in the first few weeks than I did her actual name. With the exception of The Piano Man and Squiggle Bug, I think everyone else in the family regularly calls her Smunchie too. Though she's grown a lot and isn't that tiny baby any more, the name still seems right for her.

Smunchie at 6 months.

And me? Well, I'm just Jessica. But you can call me The Leaky B@@b.

Me and an 11 month old Squiggle Bug.

Have you laughed today?

2010-09-09T22:20:00.000-05:00

A wise friend once told me when I first became a parent to make it a goal to laugh, really laugh like deep belly laughs and unstoppable giggles at least once a day with my children to help me to enjoy them and not get lost in the work of being a parent. This advice has stuck with me for 11 years. Occasionally in the chaotic pace of our lives it gets lost or rather, I lose it. I forget to pay attention and seek out those moments. It never fails though, when I'm trying to get through my checklists and to conquer the dishes and laundry for at least 10 minutes one day I am reminded of this value I hold. Sometimes it is whispered gently into my heart, others it is like a 2x4 up side my head and still others it explodes shredding my lists and destroying my piles.

Have you laughed today?

Today I had planned to get another breastfeeding demonstration video up but didn't have any footage that would work for what I wanted so I grabbed the camera and decided to film me breastfeeding Smunchie in the Mei Tai as I walked with The Storyteller, Lolie, Squiggle Bug and Smunchie home from the ballet studio. The Storyteller was to be my videographer when we stopped at the park and let Lolie push Squiggle Bug in the swing for a while as we filmed. They were all enthusiastic and The Storyteller assured me she was ready to become a film maker.

SteadyCam she is not.

However, she is a cute little ballerina. By the way the video shakes and wiggles, jumping around all over the place one would think she was still in dance class while holding the camera.

Isn't she cute! She and Earth Baby were getting ready to ride their bikes to the ballet studio when I snapped this in a sloppy "Aw! My babies riding off to ballet for the first time this season" moment.

Because I don't want to subject anyone to video induced motion sickness, I have no video to share with you.

Well, that's not exactly true.

In the video I had hoped to demonstrate how I adjusted my carrier to breastfeed and then could multi-task while babywearing and breastfeeding. Once I had Smunchie latched, I walked over to Squiggle Bug and started pushing her on the swing to let Lolie run off to tackle the bigger playground equipment. The problem was Smunchie much preferred watching Squiggle Bug swing and totally ditched the b@@b. So I gave up and enjoyed the moment and we got this instead. The carrier is too loose and not being worn well at all because it was adjusted for BFing and I relaxed it even further for her to see better.

Turns out, I like the video footage we ended up getting better anyway.

We laughed and laughed and laughed some more. We shot several videos until the camera died. Then we watched her more without the camera. On the way home we laughed some more remembering. After dinner we watched it again with Earth Baby who had missed it and we snorted and hollered through it again. And when I edited it down with Smunchie on my lap, she and I laughed yet again. Oh yeah, we've laughed today. Have you?

Really, Disgusting? I mean REALLY?

2010-09-09T00:29:00.000-05:00

Warning: This is the most disgusting post I've ever written. I would not be able to read it while pregnant. If you have a weak stomach, proceed with caution.

Sometimes I hear words like "disgusting," "gross," "yucky," "icky," "repulsive," "turn-off," "sickening," "offensive," “disturbing,” and more when NIP (Nursing In Public) is discussed. Or I should say ranted about since it is rarely a discussion but more like a verbal battle of contention particularly in the comments found on online news reports and blogs and in such internet venues as Facebook and forums.

I'm a mother of 5 children. I've traveled, attend births, been in the hospital, taken mission trips, worked with the homeless, watched TV and movies including the discovery channel, and more. Trust me, I KNOW disgusting. So please, allow me to clarify what is truly "disgusting."

There are grades, levels, if you will, of disgusting, not all things gross are created equal. The mere thought of some icky scenarios are enough to turn your stomach and others just make you grimace when you actually see or experience them. All of us have an internal gross-factor monitor, it alerts us when to look the other way, plug our nose, shout out a warning or triggers our stomach to empty it's contents. Some of these are universally understood, some are more personal and developed by our cultural experiences. A few don't even make sense but most do, as a form of self-preservation to avoid things that could make us sick. When I hear or read someone say that seeing someone breastfeeding is disgusting I want to throw out some really gross ideas and see what they say. Really, Disgusting? I mean REALLY? Gross? Really? Seriously? Oh come on! I can show you disgusting.

Here is my list, it would be longer but I started feeling a little nauseated:

Hmmmm, that's icky, if I think about it too much I could be sick.
Disgusting Level 1

Letting your kid spit out the food they've already chewed but don't like into your bare hand.
Cleaning up your own child's poop.
Public bathrooms.
Porn site e-mails.
Derogatory terms for female genitalia.
Questionable mud puddles.
Wiping buggers off your child's face or suctioning them out of their nose.
Shoveling manure.
Hearing people talk about pus.
Hearing your parents talk about their sex life.

Like ewwww! So gross, I think I'm going to be sick.
Disgusting Level 2

Cleaning up someone else's poop from the floor or toilet or whatever.
Nose picking.
Yack floating in the pool you're swimming in.
Seeing someone urinate.
Finding maggots... anywhere.
Puss filled wounds.
Ticks- as in the blood sucking insect kind.
Seeing someone sneeze into their hands and then touch the spoon in the buffet line.
Filthy public bathrooms.
The idea of eating fried worms.
Finding the shredded remains of the used tampon your dog ate AFTER she gave you hello licks.
Stepping on a roach or any other bug so the guts squirt out.
Hearing your parents HAVING sex.

Totally, universally disgusting, I am going to be sick.
Disgusting Level 3

Roach in your food.
Touching someone else's buggers.
Finding a random used condom at the park.
Taking a swig of milk only to find it is curdled.
Being thrown-up on even by your own child.
Having to dispose of a dead, maggotty animal found in your yard, worse if in your house.
Draining a pus-filled wound.
Raw chicken.
The drinking water sources in some parts of the world.
Discovering wormy dog/cat poop after you stepped in it.
Red tide- people living in coastal areas know what I'm talking about here.
WALKING IN ON YOUR PARENTS HAVING SEX.

Those situations are gross. Some of them are a reflection of my own personal “ick” factor and I recognize my issues with them. As always, I have a choice when faced with them: push through, look away, get over it or remove myself. As such I let The Piano Man handle any raw poultry while I hide in the bedroom. This is left over from issues in pregnancy and him dealing with the raw meat makes all the difference in the world in my being able to eat later. Once in a while our stomach turning reactions signal that something is wrong or just "off" with us. In fact, it has been nausea to food, to the normal sights and smells that are a part of life that have signaled to me that I am pregnant every single time.

Often on the internet battlefields of blogs and articles, phrases about breastfeeding being the natural and normal way to feed a human baby are met with debate swordplay that urinating/defecating and sex are natural too but nobody wants to see them done in public. In sometimes clumsy, sometimes skilled thrusts of the written word, opponents spare about what is best, disgusting, natural, intimate, and above all, whose rights come first. I have to admit, I don’t always get it. Am I missing something? The act of releasing waste from the body and the experience of sexual pleasure seem to be an obvious far cry from a mother feeding, comforting and nourishing her child. To compare these is an elementary exercise in “one of these things is not like the others.” Human waste elimination carries the risk of bacteria and disease being spread, unlike breastfeeding, there isn’t a sealed suction receptacle to contain any possible threat. Not only is public sex acts prohibited by law but again, the risk of the spread of disease and of harming the psychological development of children by exposing them to the mature nature of indecent exposure before they are mentally capable of understanding and degrading all of society would be of primary concern regarding sex in public. Furthermore, public urination, defecation and sex are illegal. Breastfeeding in public is legal in the United States, in fact, breastfeeding in public is protected in most of the United States making it impossible to charge a woman with indecent exposure and for good reason, it is recognized as the normal, healthy way to feed a human baby. As far as whose rights get to come first, I would hate to see what has become of our society when we're putting the personal tastes of adults in society over the needs of a dependent infant or child. The only disgusting possibility I see would be for a woman to not feed her hungry child when she has the means to do so, that she uses her breast according to the design of her body is no less disgusting than anyone else using their mouth to eat.

Like my red-flag of nausea before I even suspect I am pregnant, perhaps our disgust with breastfeeding in public reveals less about breastfeeding and more about some deeper issues we have has a society. Issues with the objectification of women, issues with a one-dimensional view of breasts, issues with body image and self-esteem, issues with confusing inappropriate public behavior and appropriate public behavior, issues with double of speak of what is “best” yet wanting that very thing to be hidden, issues with the complex nature of women as both sexual beings and nurturing mothers. If the sight of breastfeeding makes you feel sick even though you know it is the normal, healthy or even the “best” way to feed a human baby then it sounds like you need to get yourself checked out because that just doesn’t sound right, something must be “off” with you or maybe, just maybe, our society in general.

Because this is not disgusting.

The Hard Work of Mothering

2010-09-07T09:50:00.000-05:00

Today I am thrilled to bring you a guest post by Kari Swanson, daughter, sister, wife, mother of two, librarian, and member of Generation X who is also known as BookishMama, a moderator on The Leaky B@@b forums. Kari blogs over at Thoughts from BookishMama and I've enjoyed reading some of her recent posts particularly related to breastfeeding.

This photograph was taken in 1936 by Dorothea Lange. Another photo called “Migrant Mother” taken by the same photographer of this same mother is probably one of the most famous photographs in American history, documenting the effects of the Great Depression.

The mother in the photograph was 32 years old when this photograph was taken and she and her husband had 7 children, including this little baby. She was photographed in a camp for migrant pea pickers. According to the photographer’s notes the early pea crop had failed and this family was destitute and had to sell the tires off their car in order to buy food.

Why am I posting this photo? I am posting this photo, because for me it exemplifies a hard working mother and a mother’s hard work at the same time.

Mothering can be hard work. Living at the beck and call of an infant, having no time to take a bathroom break, and getting little to no sleep for months, or even years, on end is hard work. Raising children requires dedication, organization, selflessness, empathy, creativity… the list goes on. All of those traits and skills and more are required of mothers whether they spend 24 hours every day with their children or not.

Kari took this beautiful photo while breastfeeding her daughter.

There is no such thing as a part-time mother. Once you are a mother you are a mother all day, every day for the rest of your life. All mothers, whether they have jobs that take them away from their children for periods of time, operate businesses in their homes, work outside their homes with their children on their backs/hips, or stay home with their children every day, are all full time mothers.

Let’s all be sensitive of what it means to be a hard working mother and to do the hard work of mothering. We are all doing the best we can and what we think is best for our children. Some of us choose to stay home with our children. Some of us choose to work. Some of us do not have choices either way. The grass may seem greener on the other side of the fence, but it’s really pretty much the same grass in different locations.

(PS This photograph is in the public domain. To read more about the photograph go to: http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/fsa1998021556/PP/.)

Aching Love Celebrates

2010-08-30T09:05:00.000-05:00

I wrote this poem for a friend as she celebrated and remembered her 4 babies born prematurely. One she holds here and 3 she holds now only in her heart. Grace is the name of the daughter that survived. Recently, 2 more wonderful families I know have gone through pregnancy loss and my heart aches for them as well. I have changed the words some to fit more moms that have experienced pregnancy loss, stillbirths, or premature little ones that did not make it. With this I honor all my friends that have lost children far too early and remember theirs and my own 3 pregnancy losses.

Aching Love Celebrates

by Jessica Martin-Weber

Sweet hope, please stay

This path you trod, do not take

If I could spare you with my fragile breath

I would not hesitate

Mother

Father

Sister

Brother

Love is breathing

Songs to sing

Wishes can not replace

The loves taken wing

Grace is but a gift

One imagines not to hold

But in the eyes of Grace we see

Joy and Grief, elegant and bold

Aching love celebrates

What some pretend is not

Empty womb knows true

Arms missing burdens lost

From her body early denied

In her heart they still survive

The Leaky B@@b Tube- NIP with layers and standing

2010-08-26T20:23:00.000-05:00

I'm embracing my new found lactivist status by posting a video of me breastfeeding. This is moving beyond the photos, right?

Just some information.

My cup size is around a C give or take depending on how full I am.

I'm not sure why the video is so grainy.

Smunchie is just a few days shy of 8 months in this video and about 16 pounds.

Our adorable shirts come from Paper Mama.

I'm breastfeeding her standing up and would walk around just like this while out.

I am not wearing any clothing specifically designed for breastfeeding, not even my bra.

For this technique to work well, the bottom layer needs to have a stretchy neck-line.

You don't have to show even as much b@@b as I do this way.

That strange positioning thing I do when she's already latched is my bizarre obsession with making sure her ear isn't folded over while she's nursing. I know, really strange.

I don't usually glow like that, this video could be called "The outdoor breastfeeding sauna" thanks to the 100+ temps and over the top humidity. The camera lens kept fogging up. No, seriously.

Our adorable shirts are from Paper Mama.

Through the eyes of a child

2010-08-25T16:45:00.000-05:00

For World Breastfeeding Week I was excited to host "Perspectives: Breastfeeding through Children's Eyes Art Prject." The original plan was to take submissions for a week and then select one to be printed on note cards, a collaboration with Paper Mama, the sales of which would go to benefit Best For Babes Foundation. We were and are all super excited. But we want more submissions.

In an effort to get more submissions, we're going to extend the contest deadline to September 15th. We have some great submissions so far and love seeing how your little ones view breastfeeding. We are looking forward to even more. Spread the word and ask your little ones to share their artistic expressions of their perspective of breastfeeding!

To submit, send a scanned copy of a high quality photograph of your child's piece to theleakyboob @ theleakyboob.com by September 15th with your child's first name, age and anything they had to say about breastfeeding and their submission. You may submit as many as you'd like.

We are looking forward to all of the submissions and hope to help a good cause and I'd love to show that children seeing breastfeeding is not a sexually perverted act and is in fact a positive in not only the lives of the mothers and babies but the children exposed to such beautiful nurturing as well.

Milk on Tap

2010-08-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

Don't mess with a girl and her mama milk.

Years ago I would never have imagined I'd wear a shirt that talked about or supported breastfeeding. The most words I ever wore on a shirt were band names and even then I only liked band t-shirts that weren't obvious. Comfort, above all else, was what I liked, it was nice if it looked good too.

So you'd never guess what my new favorite shirt is.

A plain organic cotton t-shirt and all it has is words! Smunchie and I have a darling set from Paper Mama, mine says "Milk on Tap" and has, well, a tap. Smunchie's says "I get mine straight from the tap" and also has a tap. Scrumptiously soft, Smunchie and I get to show our enthusiasm for breastfeeding and our sense of humor. It's like a win-win.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, way too many pictures.

I love how she's signing milk while she gets it straight from the tap.

Here at The Leaky B@@b we've got fresh milk on tap. Smunchie gets it fresh from the source just like her shirt says. If you like our shirts and want some too or something like them, check out the Paper Mama online shop. In case you're interested in the amber necklaces Smunchie and I are both wearing, you can find those at Paper Mama as well. Tucked into our package of shirts was a set of beautiful, high quality, glossy print "Thank you for nursing in public" cards as well. I immediately stuck several in my wallet, I haven't gotten to hand any out yet but I can't wait to. Thanks Jephtha, we love our shirts and the cards!

Oh My Gosh... I'm a LACTIVIST!

2010-08-18T17:58:00.000-05:00

Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm a lactivist. To everyone else this has probably been obvious for a long time but this is the first time I'm admitting this fact in a public setting. I'm not sure how it happened really. In my head it was a sudden shift that came out of nowhere and has caught me by surprise. Is that my voice? Is that MY voice? I ask when I hear myself speaking about breastfeeding... again. One day I was a normal, level-headed, regular person and then the next I was talking about breastfeeding all the time, crazy-advocate and a *gasp* real lactivist. There was a time when I read literature on breastfeeding and responded with small nods and "Hm, that's interesting" but now I'm pounding the table yelling "Preach it sistah!" I've even introduced myself as "Hi, I'm Jessica, The Leaky B@@b."

No, seriously, I have.

What the...? How did that happen?

*Freak out*

In reality the shift was probably gradual. Sure, there were some monumental, no-turning-back moments such as when I decided I wanted have my babies at home or when I became a student midwife, but since nobody would ever have described me as level-headed in the first place, maybe I wasn't that far off from the beginning. The funny thing is, when it comes to feeding babies, I actually think I'm more level-headed now than I ever was.

How do I know I'm a lactivist? Well, there are some tell-tale signs that I can no longer deny in myself. So I now bring you:

You might be a lactivist if...

You read every article on breastfeeding you come across. Even if you already know everything it says. Maybe even if you've read it before. You can't help it, you have to read them and your significant other is likely going to get an earful about what you read regardless if the tone of the article was positive or negative.
You don't flinch, blush or feel even a little awkward with words like "breast," "boobs," "nipple," "areola," "bra," etc. Around anyone, ever. You may not even care where you say them. It is common to say them often.
You have to resist the urge to applaud a woman breastfeeding in public. Or smile broadly at her while staring. Or hug her. Or point her out to, oh, everyone. Or stalk her, just a little.
Little gets you hotter than another story in the news about a woman and her baby being asked to leave an establishment while breastfeeding or invited to breastfeed in the bathroom. Seriously, the bathroom? It's been said before but you'll say it again; would YOU want to eat in the bathroom? Didn't think so. What is wrong with people having an issue with a baby eating? You will go on and on and on about this to anyone willing to listen and sometimes, even those that aren't.
Talking with someone that has just had a baby you don't hesitate to ask "how's breastfeeding going?" You don't actually know if they are breastfeeding but you assume they are. And if things aren't going well you're ready to spring into action to help. Your baby gift is a pair of the softest reusable breast pads, a tube of lanolin, a water bottle and a boppy.
The idea of someone touching your breast or you touching someone else's breast to assist with breastfeeding a newborn is like, so whatever. Since that's what b@@bs are for, it's no big deal any more. You might even forget that it still is a big deal for others and inadvertently make new moms uncomfortable. Got to work on that.
You have downloaded and printed or purchased "Thank you for breastfeeding in public" cards to hand out to breastfeeding moms you spot while out and about. And you use them too. There are some in your purse, your glove box, your diaper bag, the back pocket of your jeans, and your kids backpack. You consider it a good day if you got to hand out a few at the mall.
There are at least 2 Facebook groups you follow about breastfeeding and Twitter too. Maybe even a forum or two. You check often and share lots of links and stories. Reading the stories others post there is addicting and before you know it you've spent hours reading about breastfeeding. All for the cause, all for the cause.
You get home from a trip to the zoo and post on a FaceBook wall how many women you saw NIP while you were out. Probably on one of those pages but maybe even your own private Facebook. This doesn't seem strange to you at all, after all, how else are we going to normalize breastfeeding? Seeing mothers NIP should be celebrated, you're just doing your part. Nothing crazy about that!
You have taken pictures of yourself breastfeeding. Or had your partner or older child snap a few for you. It's real serious if you've had a breastfeeding sitting with a professional photographer. Is it framed and on your wall? Is there a piece of breastfeeding art, photograph or other, that isn't of you? Why not, right? It's beautiful and natural. In fact, you probably have more pictures of you breastfeeding, most likely of just your chest, arm and little one, than of you actually looking at the camera or doing any thing else.
You have shared pictures of yourself breastfeeding online. On those groups or forums. Or your own blog. Even better if it's your profile image on a social networking site or discussion board. You're a proud breastfeeder! Breastfeeding is not obscene Facebook! You probably even "liked" the Facebook page that says that.
You know what the World Breastfeeding Symbol is and you have used it either online or in real life. Do you have a bag or shirt with it? Does your baby? A car decal? Or is it part of your profile pic? Yeah? You've got it bad baby. If you ever happen to see the symbol in a business you'll probably hug the shop owner.
You know when World Breastfeeding Week is and you get a little giddy when it rolls around every year. Events are planned, give-aways are entered, and lactation cookies are baked. You know what organization is doing what, where and when and you plan on being there. That is, if you didn't organize it yourself. You probably even got a special shirt for the occasion. Maybe even learned a dance.
You don't like Nestle and avoid buying Nestle products. Even if your favorite candy is Butterfinger. The fact that the BlogHer conference was sponsored by Nestle really bothered you and you even asked your favorite blogger how they could participate. When Halloween rolls around you debate digging through the kid's loot to find the Nestle products and throw them away. Except for the Butterfingers, you eat those rationalizing that at least you didn't pay for them.
Covering for breastfeeding to you means making sure your belly, back and sides are covered but you don't worry about who may catch a brief glimpse of a little b@@b. In fact, you have mixed feelings about breastfeeding covers. Whatever helps a woman feed her baby is great but should we be hiding breastfeeding? It's complicated and you're just happy for breastfeeding in public at all. Personally, you just don't want your flab showing.
Breastfeeding past a year is normal, passed 2 common and over 3 no biggie. It's the people that have a problem with it that are weird. You know that the global average age for weaning is age 4 so people just need to get over themselves since breastmilk doesn't suddenly turn to water after a certain age. It's not like there is an expiration date on breastfeeding, sheesh.
The Kelly Mom, Best for Babes, Dr. Jack Newman, La Leche League, and other breastfeeding websites are bookmarked on your computer. You also have a considerable breastfeeding library which you loan out often. In fact, you bought several copies of your favorite breastfeeding book to have on hand to give to new moms. You do so with excitement and a list of those websites and don't even notice your partner throwing a breastfeeding-cover-apron-thingy over his head while you jabber on excitedly. When you do notice you give him a "Thank you for NIP" card.
You can name at least 3 celebrities that breastfed. You might even know how many kids and how long they breastfed. But you're not sure what movies or TV shows they are from and maybe have never even seen them in anything or know why they are even celebrities at all.
Science comes out with new information that breastfeeding has "new" health benefits for mom and/or baby and you say "duh." The information is good to know, you're glad they've done research but it just seems kind of obvious that feeding as nature intended would be a good thing, right?
You meet someone for the first time in a non-breastfeeding related environment and you somehow are talking about breastfeeding within 20 minutes. You know if they were breastfed, if they did or intend to breastfeed, how long, what they've read, if they are aware of your favorite breastfeeding resources, etc. Later you may not remember their name but you'll be able to confidently greet them with "You breastfed your youngest for 16 months, of course I remember you!" This applies to men too.
You think maybe Gisele was on to something. Even if you don't exactly agree with what she said or that it could even happen you can totally understand it and even secretly wish it was possible. You're cautious about saying that anywhere but can't help wonder "what if...?"
The phrases "if breastfeeding offends you put a blanket over your head" and "if breastfeeding is sexual then a bottle is a dildo" make you laugh and you really, really want to share them somewhere. You probably have too. And you know more and have come up with a few of your own. They are what go through your head when having conversations with anti-breastfeeding types. Sometimes they even come flying out of your mouth.
Your children think feeding babies with bottles is weird. In their minds the only reason to do so is because something is wrong or the mother is unavailable and then it would be expressed breastmilk. They may not even know what formula is.
It is strange that you haven't typed or said "breastfeeding" in one full day. Woah, how did that happen? You must have been sick.
Out on a date your partner asks if you could talk about something other than breastfeeding for a little bit. Whether you were talking about you breastfeeding, someone else breastfeeding, breastfeeding in the news, or something else, you didn't even realize you were until he asked to change the subject. It just seemed... normal.
You want to replace the slogan "breast is best" with "breast is normal." You've thought long and hard about this and you're ready to change the world. Breastfeeding is normal!
After reading an online article about breastfeeding in public harassment incidents, you read through the comments and respond to every uneducated reply posted. You only walk away after you realize your blood pressure is through the roof. And in search of some chocolate.

Recognize yourself at all in any of these? Know anyone that fits these? I bet you could add some too, share yours in the comments here so I know I'm not alone.

Ladies and gentlemen, Hi, I'm Jessica, The Leaky B@@b and I'm a lactivist.

Now... I need some chocolate. Or maybe some baby kisses. Or both.

Lucky Mother, I

2010-08-16T23:08:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to write some prose about breastfeeding for a while. My first few attempts were awkward and forced. As I honored and processed a few difficult events including the anniversary of a particular suffering for our family, the passing away of a 15 year old former student and son of friends of ours, the stage 4 cancer diagnoses of a young woman friend of ours about to get married and honoring the memory of 3 babies born to a friend 9 years ago that didn't survive, a feeling of fierce protection welled up within me. Every time I sat down to breastfeed Smunchie my heart would pound with longing to protect my children and my thoughts for prose kept turning to this feeling. Though our own past as a family has shown me I can't protect them completely from everything forever, I can do this. Offering the protection of my milk is something I can do right now and I feel so blessed as a mother to be able to guard my children this way. Down the road my milk won't be the comfort and protection they need but right now, for my youngest, it is exactly what she needs. This poem came out of these thoughts.

Baby sigh
Contentment breathed
Lips slumber's smile keep
Cupids bow stretched
In this moment
I hold you safe
Guarded by my arms
Eyes
Heart
Milk
Flowing into you
Filling me

Whispers at my breast
Security expressed
Close
Empty
Overflow
Today I can protect you
A love you can taste
Would it to last forever
And never be replaced

Try, I said I'd try
Afraid that I would fail
But now I'd fail a thousand times
If it meant you could prevail
Restless
Hunters
Creep
Someday you'll fight alone
The lions on the prowl
But in this moment I press on
Slaying lions to the ground

Science may support this
As a great thing that I do
But for me it is no greater
Than simply loving you

I offer time and again
In mystery and awe
Part of me redefined
For beauty so small
Once, you inside me
Now I in you
Vulnerable action
The risk of love true
Sweet
Soft
Warm
Melding together I find
I am yours
And you are mine

Pain, oh yes, pain
But I traveled through
Pain and back
Just to hold you
And when my breast
You no longer require
I will remember
Like a burning fire
Searching mouth
Gentle hands
Satisfied smiles
Safe, I held you
If for but a time
Safe, I fed you
Lucky mother, I.

I'd Like to Make a Withdrawal, Please

2010-08-09T13:49:00.000-05:00

My friend Karen is such an incredible mother, giving everything she can for her daughters. Her story brings tears to my eyes and reminds me why I pump and donated my milk. I am honored to be bringing you this guest post.

Breast is best, and natural they tell me. Breastfeeding is apparently what these boobs I have been burdened with since a young age are made for . . . but my boobs didn't get the memo. After working through some issues, I tried to breastfeed with my second child. But they would have none of it. There were three fundamental problems: 1) no milk, 2) faulty design and 3) lack of support. This led me with only 1 option, I had to make a withdrawal from the local milk bank.

I spent the entire first trimester of my pregnancy hooked up to an iv to sustain bare minimal hydration and nutrition thanks to a pregnancy disease known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). There were times when it took 5 nurses 8 attempts in over an hour to get an iv started. They called in the big guns, the nurse they sweared could ALWAYS get an iv started. Ah, but my body, it was bound and determined to foil even she. So finally they put in a port, sent me home and a nurse came to my house every 3 days to check it and change the location if needed. My wonderful husband set his alarm clock for 3 a.m. so he could wake up and change my iv bags. In my third trimester, I was hospitalized another 3 times for extreme dehydration. So it shouldn't be surprising, but it was emotionally devastating, when I tried to breastfeed and simply couldn't. Apparently, in basic math terms, 9 months of extreme dehydration=no milk.

The faulty design problem became apparent when it turned out there was no nipple for the baby to attach to. A lactation consultant was called in to, well, consult. She walked in, tore open my hospital gown with no announcement or, better yet, permission and declared, "yep, you have flat nipples." Nice. Since I had given birth the day before Thanksgiving, everyone seemed more in a rush to make pies than to help a struggling mother so their basic advice was to pump as it would help bring the nipple out and the baby could create a latch. So I sent my husband to the store and he bought a pump and we were on our own for the next few days.

So here I was, trying to breastfeed and my days went something like this: Feed the baby for over an hour, because she wasn't really get any milk. Pump for two hours, and get half an ounce. Feed the baby for over an hour. Pump for two. All I did was feed and pump, pump and feed. And cry. Remember that excellent husband I mentioned above, here he made a misstep. One day as I cried about it all, he suggested that maybe I was doing it wrong. Or was, in subtler but no less stinging words, a failure - and maybe I should just give up.

Our pediatrician wrote me a prescription for a medical grade pump, which failed to deliver on its promise quite frankly. And the lactation consultants, there is apparently only one in our county, failed to return the messages I left over Thanksgiving weekend. We were, as they say, winging it - and quite unsuccessfully at that. Then, the unimaginable happened, my baby developed severe GERD. There were frequent trips to Children's hospital (seizure like episodes, apnea that resulted in her turning blue) and the recommendation was that we try changing formulas (we were supplementing as we tried to navigate our bfing nightmare). In the end, we had to use an amino acid based formula to minimize her symptoms that she is quite frankly still struggling from at 20 months.

In all of this, I did a ton of research, which is where I stumbled upon the idea of a breast milk bank. What a glorious idea I thought. I wanted my baby to get the health benefits of breastmilk but couldn't deliver traditional, but now there appeared to be a nontraditional way for me to help my baby get what was best. So I called the nearest big city hospital and due to my baby's feeding issues it was determined that I would qualify to purchase breastmilk with a prescription from my doctor. My doctor was a little more fuzzy on the idea: He was worried about sanitariness. And of course since my baby appeared to have food allergies, well - that was a different concern. But in the end we all agreed that I really, really wanted my baby to have the health benefits of breastmilk and it couldn't hurt to try.

Well, it did hurt my pocket book. Donor breastmilk was almost as expensive as the amino acid based formula I had to buy. In the end, we could only afford to give her 1 6 ounce bottle a day for about 3 months. But, they say that a little is better than none and I hope that is true. My secret hope is that the antibodies from the breastmilk helped to make her food allergies less severe. I will say that despite her incredible issues with food (I mentioned she has incredible issues with food, right?)- she has had no other types of illness. No flu. No colds. No croup. A couple of ear infections that didn't require treatment, but that was more than likely from the food allergies.

Since donated breastmilk from a hospital bank is pasteurized, there is some question as to how the antibodies compare to unpastuerized breast milk. But again, I am going with the some is better than none theory unless science comes back and tells me differently. I have heard that some moms are able to get donated milk from someone they know that is unpasteurized making this a moot point. I did the best that I could do for my baby - and I hope that other moms will have the opportunity.

To tell the truth this isn't really that bizarre of a concept - when the Earthquake in China killed many of its citizens a couple of years ago, one of the stories that came out was about how one woman breastfed some of the orphaned babies to keep them alive. Imagine the generosity involved in giving not only of your nutrients, but your time and body in this way.

I am very thankful to the women that donated breastmilk to the bank I used. And now I encourage everyone who can to do so. There are many medical reasons why a woman may be unable to breastfeed, and donated milk can help their babies get the gift and benefits of breastfeeding. Do research to determine where a milk bank near you is and sign up to be a donor - it was such a blessing to my family, and it will be to many more. I am not the only woman who is looking to make a withdrawal.

The Tardy WBW 2010 Perspectives blog-carnival wrap up

2010-08-08T22:51:00.000-05:00

"Why are you always on the computer now? I thought we were going to do something special while Earth Baby and The Storyteller were at camp?"

Lolie's beautiful blue eyes were wide with expectation, waiting to hear what had to be a good answer from me.

Lolie, 7 years

Generally, I'm very careful about my time and protect the routine for me and my children. Though I'm not attending births right now which does make it a little easier, when I am, knowing it could be thrown off at any second means holding onto whatever rhythm I can is crucial. That, and I like to really be with my kids. Whenever I get really busy I hear the words to Harry Chapin's Cat's in the Craddle spinning through my head. Since I don't want that to be me, no matter what it was I was doing, I strive to find a balance.

Looking at Lolie and knowing the answer to her question the frustration of having just lost the carnival post full of links and information suddenly melted away. In the light of Loli's frustration with me not being available I realized that my explanation of "It's World Breastfeeding Week and I'm running a blog carnival and lots of give-aways!" sounded weak to even my grown-up mind. No way my 7 year old was going to give a rats' rear-end about World Breastfeeding Week, young lactivist though she may be. I had promised cupcakes and her sisters had been gone for 3 days already.

So, dear reader, I closed my laptop. Quite frankly, she matters more than a blog carnival, she matters more than World Breastfeeding Week, even. I knew you all would survive and were probably busy with your own lives on a Saturday. And I knew you would understand. Though I no longer comfort or nourish this child at my breast, I do comfort and nourish her with my time and attention. We curled up together, lap top pushed aside, with a book we had started and read for an hour. We painted toe and finger nails. We turned on Regina Specktor and danced like crazy. We played wii for hours- something we never permit in our normal family rhythm- and she profoundly creamed me in Mariocart. We went out to a fancy-shmancy frozen yogurt boutique. We said farewell to her god-parents for the next 3 months until they come home from London for Christmas. We made lactation cookies. We sighed and giggled after sliding around in socks on the hardwood floors. We built towns of blocks with farms and watch-towers. We set-up the slip-n'-slide. We attended a ball in our living room complete with play silks and gowns and danced to Rachmoninov's 3rd piano concerto. We drank iced tea out of china tea cups because with the summer Houston temperatures we didn't want hot tea. We watched a movie and I didn't even multi-task, she cuddled with 3 of my girls. We went to the thrift store and found cheap treasures. We hit the grocery store and planned a fancy dinner. She reveled in being the biggest big sister and not a little sister. As my helper, she took charge when needed and entertained a tired, melting-down Squiggle Bug for us to make it through the grocery store. When I sat down to breastfeed Smunchie she asked if I needed my computer. I told her no, I just needed her and she beamed at me, grabbed a book and got as close to me as she could without knocking Smunchie off my lap and breast and she read me a story about a boy with a loose tooth. After finishing her story she stroked Smunchie's fuzz and asked me if she breastfed like that. I told her yes she did.

People, it was good. It was better than a 1000 comments on any post ever.

Lolie, 7 years old

And I realized something. The most important thing I did for World Breastfeeding Week was step away from my computer and spend time with my daughter.

So now I bring you the late finale to our blog carnival.

The Piano Man managed to squeeze in some time to write some of his thoughts on breastfeeding; Mammaries... I mean, Memories. I'm not actually sure when he did it, honestly but when he read it to me I teared up. He shared a memory of seeing his mom breastfeed his little sister and I have now made a mental note to write or call my mother in law to thank her. Again.

Our second guest post is another beautiful and moving story. We've had so many this week and I'm thrilled to share another that is honest, inspiring and full of a mother's desperate love. Breast Nurturing: A Relactating Story.

I've really enjoyed all of the bloggers that participated in the carnival. There were new-to-me bloggers and some I've been reading for a while. I hope you found some to follow, their voices offering unique perspectives on life that both challenge you and help you know you're not alone.

Re-Normalizing Breastfeeding: A first step for life-long health- Looking solely at breastfeeding from a health perspective, Kirstin muses about the long term impact of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. Kirstin is mother to one with another on the way, she says she's learning to be a little crunchier everyday. She blogs at My Belly Blog.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!- A personal journey that leads to discovering the joy of breastfeeding. I so appreciated Laura's honest telling of her breastfeeding experience, ups, downs, and in betweens. Laura is a SAHM who throughly enjoys catching bugs, splashing in the pool and eating popsicles with her 16 month old son Aiden and I just love the title of her blog: Blissed Out Baby.

Swimming Upstream- Becky didn't see a lot of breastfeeding before she had children and entered breastfeeding her son pretty much alone. Her story and dreams of a world where breastfeeding moms have support is inspiring. Becky is a wife and mom of two little ones, striving to keep order in her home who is enjoying her new found hobby of blogging... somewhere in the desert.

So It Has Been A While. Your Point?- Alex's hubby hijacked her blog and wrote a great post sharing his thoughts on breastfeeding! Hearing from men on breastfeeding twice in one day is a perfect way to ring out World Breastfeeding Week, don't you think? Even if it is a little late.

Our children's art project, Perspectives: Breastfeeding Through Children's Eyes was planned to wrap up tomorrow but to give more time for more submissions (and we already have so many great ones!) we're extending it through the rest of the month. As August is National Breastfeeding Month this is a fitting time for kids to be creative about breastfeeding. Send submissions to theleakyboob @ theleakyboob {dot} com.

Hope you all enjoyed the blog carnival. I'd love to hear which blog posts and guests posts touched you. Leave me a comment sharing what encouraged, inspired and connected with you from this week. Thanks you all for a wonderful World Breastfeeding Week celebration and I hope you understand why this wrap up is tardy.

Loli holding the Rollie-Pollies that earned her nick-name.

Breast Nurting: A Re-lactation Story

2010-08-08T22:28:00.000-05:00

For our WBW blog carnival on "Perspectives: Breastfeeding From Every Angle" we are pleased to host guest posts from various contributors. Today we hear the perspective on breastfeeding from Rachel, a mom that re-lactated after medical reasons led her to wean very early. Rachel has a re-lactating blog chronicling her journey.

When my son was almost 4 weeks old, I began my relactation journey. I stocked up on medication, supplements, information and support. You see, he was formula fed at one week old. I was hospitalised overnight with severe anxiety attacks and extreme insomnia when he was 6 days old and was not in a state to breastfeed so he was given formula feeds.

I then allowed my milk to dry up as I focused on getting better mentally. After finding out that I had lost my first pregnancy early in the second trimester, I understandably was anxious during my second pregnancy and beyond. As a result, I had postnatal depression & anxiety all surrounding the fear of losing my son and not being a 'good enough' Mumma to him.

I so desperately missed breastfeeding - not only for all of the health benefits to him and myself but because I loved it.

I started being very conscious of eating well, drinking loads of fluids, resting, and nursing him as often as possible. He would latch on but got increasingly frustrated because I was producing next-to-no milk. I was taking several galactologues and started pumping regularly. I stayed in contact with a lactation consultant and ordered a Supplementary Nursing System. Some beautiful, generous Mummas are donated expressed breastmilk to us as well.

To say I was determined is an understatement.

I was so blessed to have a cooperative baby and an extremely supportive husband. I went from expressing literally a couple of mLs from both breasts at a time to producing more than enough breastmilk (750 mL in a 24 hour period) in just seventeen days!

Getting my supply back was only half the battle. It was then a matter of getting him back to the breast. 11 days later, after much frustration and a few meltdowns (from both him and I) my baby boy had his first of many feeds from the breast... and we haven't looked back. That was over 5 months ago and my 'boobah' loving baby boy is so happy.

It was trying, don't get me wrong. I had to hand express at first and expressing so regularly and constantly was draining both physically and emotionally. I had all the normal duties of a first time Mum to contend with alongside postnatal anxiety, an exhaustive pumping schedule, painful nipples (hello nipple thrush, meet hospital grade double breast pump), the financial cost and it was so time consuming. But it was beyond worth it.

I spent most of my free time (hah! Free time with a tiny baby?) researching relactation on the internet. I searched for success stories, blogs, articles, anything that would tell me that it was not only possible but that it was worth it. At one point I remember saying I just want someone to come to me from the future and tell me that this will all be worth it. Well, it is. It really really is.

I didn't just want to breast-feed. I wanted to breast-nurture. I am a relactation success story. I just want to be a voice for relactation to say that it is achievable and gaining back our breastfeeding relationship has been so very rewarding.

Mammaries...I mean Memories...

2010-08-07T17:15:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I had invited The Piano Man to contribute something for World Breastfeeding Week. It didn't seem like he was going to have the time but he surprised me with this and I'm so glad he did. A guest post by The Piano Man, the greatest support a Leaky B@@b like me could ever ask for.

The Piano Man and Squiggle Bug Fall 2009

It’s fascinating to me how perspectives vary from culture to culture, region to region, or even from person to person; how you can discover that you have so much in common with someone who lives half-way around the world, or surprisingly opposite views with a close childhood friend or family member. I’m not sure how much of the way I see the world fits with each of the different cultures (and subcultures) I’ve been a part of - French, American, family, conservative christian, liberal christian, secular university, classical music, etc. It is a complex tapestry of many sources and I won’t try to unweave it here to show where various threads find their origin. I wish to simply share some of the impressions, memories and thoughts that come to mind when I think about breastfeeding.

The first memory that pops into my head is that of a church potluck in France, where I grew up. This particular gathering happened to take place in my backyard. It was a beautiful afternoon, sunny, not too warm, and we had plenty of shade from the trees we had in our yard. Lunch was over and my Sunday school teacher’s baby girl communicated it was her turn to eat. A short asian woman, her mother was my teacher throughout my middle school years, and was always so full of wisdom. In the most relaxed way, she just put her baby to her breast and met her baby’s need in what struck me as a very natural, unceremonious way. I was very aware, in my junior high state, that breasts also serve sexual purposes, but in that moment they were intended for something much more meaningful.

The Chateau by The Piano Man's childhood house (seriously, this was basically his backyard).

I am aware that my mother breastfed all 4 of her kids, but being the third, I have virtually no mammaries - sorry, memories - of it. Sorry, our neighbor across the street has made mention of a certain man’s club nearby (I refuse to associate the word “gentleman” with it) called Memories, and every time he does he slips up and says “Mammaries” instead, which, ironically, while pointing out just what type of club it is, also completely desexualizes it for me.

As I was saying, one of the only memories I have of my mother breastfeeding happened a couple of days after my little sister was born. Back then, in France, kids were not allowed in Labor and Delivery, but my Dad figured out a way for us kids to meet our newest sibling. My mother’s room was on the ground floor and looked out over a grassy area right outside her window. I remember the ground having steep hills, but perhaps they were steeper to me as a 5 year old than they would be for me now. Steep grassy hills would be something that would stick in a young child’s memory. So we walked quietly up one of the hills, admonished by our father not to disturb the other patients with loud voices. When we arrived at the top, we approached an open window and looked into a white room where my Mom was sitting up in bed, holding a bundled baby to her chest. I was afraid to get too close, acutely aware of how unwelcome I was at the hospital. The room seemed very uninviting to me, all white, sterile, with a hint of pink which must have been the blanket my little sister was wrapped in. My mother looked very tired and happy, gently holding our newborn in nursing position. Perhaps seeing my little sister breastfed contributed to my positive views on breastfeeding, having it modeled in such a comfortable environment by people I loved and trusted.

Oh to be sure, I also developed a "healthy" sexual view of breasts as well. They are one of the most obvious physical differences between men and women, and I think it’s in those differences that our fascination and curiosity with the opposite sex start. My wife, Jessica, and I have had many conversations about why men have such an obsession with breasts. For brevity’s sake, I’ll share just a few of my thoughts on the matter. The aforementioned obsession appears to be an American one. Nowhere else in the world does there appear to be such a preoccupation with body image. We could spend all day listing off examples (like how I am assailed by images of perfect bodies every time I visit the grocery store). Breasts are primarily and almost exclusively perceived as sexual in the US. In complete contrast, Jessica mentioned an article where some women belonging to an African tribe where women don’t cover their breasts were interviewed, and they laughed out loud at the thought of grown men being into breasts, the idea being so foreign to them, in fact, that their reaction was to picture men wanting to breastfeed like babies! I place myself somewhere in between these two extremes.

Jessica, Squiggle Bug and The Piano Man, December 2008

The Piano Man feeding Smunchie a bottle of Mommy-milk, March 2010

Seriously, our culture has this sexual-only view of breasts so ingrained in its psyche that I wonder how our babies would survive if formula suddenly disappeared! What a major adjustment that would be in our way of thinking!

The Piano Man providing support in labor, December 2009

When we had our first child, Jessica and I discussed what we would do to feed our baby. Though breastfeeding seemed the natural choice to me, I was also acutely aware that it was Jessica, not me, that would be the one to sacrifice her time, her convenience, her desire for solitude and privacy, in order to give of herself physically to her baby, facing discomfort, frustration at times, and even pain. I realized that the benefits would be hers as well, the closeness and intimacy, the cuddles, the many many moments that would become beautiful memories, and more. But as I wasn’t equipped to make that sacrifice myself - that commitment, if that’s a more comfortable term - I was in no position to demand that she do what I thought was best. Fortunately, we live in an era where there are other options available. (It just now struck me that if formula weren’t available, there really wouldn’t be much of a decision to make for most people!) As to the view that her breasts were “mine,” if they cannot fulfill both functions in the same season (I’m sure I don’t have to tell any of you that this isn’t a problem for many women!), assuming that they are meant for both, then to me it comes down to pitting the distinct benefits of breastfeeding for our baby (and for her mother too!) - her NEED - against my desire to enjoy her breasts for my pleasure (and hers too!) - a WANT. Need VS. want. Need I say more? After arriving at that conclusion, it was just a matter of deciding how long Jessica would breastfeed, a decision that I felt was Jessica’s to make, and which she has reassessed with every baby. My role has been to support these decisions and provide encouragement in every way I can.

I had planned to write something light and sweet, but I guess I have some pretty strong opinions on the matter! But I’ll finish with light and sweet. My favorite part of Jessica breastfeeding our babies, health benefits and all other arguments aside, is how darn adorable they are together. The sweet communion they share, those tender cuddles (I admit I am a big fan of cuddling!), the milk-heavy smiles; those moments they share where they obviously draw into each other a little further, getting closer beyond the skin to skin, in those moments, when I take a moment to observe, I feel myself getting drawn in as well, to both of them, and it. is. beautiful.

HAPPY HOUR! TGIF!

2010-08-06T15:45:00.000-05:00

World Breastfeeding Week is almost over and we have Friday Happy Hour to celebrate!

And this time, there are 3 totally awesome, totally beautiful give-aways for Happy Hour. The theme? Art! In honor of the children's art project, Perspectives: Breastfeeding Through Children's Eyes to benefit Best For Babes our TGIF Happy Hour give-aways are 2 prints and a children's "Keep Me Busy Note Pad" set.

Without further ado:

1) Katie M. Berggren already did a Happy Hour give-away with us this week and today we have another winner's choice 8x10 print to give away.

2) Another talented mom-artist, Kate Hansen already has a give-away up and running here on the blog but agreed to do another one for Happy Hour on Facebook tonight.

3) From Panda Tushies, we are thrilled to offer a give-away your kids will love, the "Keep Me Busy Note Pad!"

It's Happy Hour at The Leaky B@@b. To be entered, head over to The Leaky B@@b on FaceBook and look for the posts on our wall saying "COMMENT HERE TO BE ENTERED!" There is one for each give-away. You don't have to do anything but comment to be entered but if you haven't already, "like" Kate Hansen, Katie M. Berggren, and Panda Tushies and let them know The Leaky B@@b sent you. The Happy Hour give-aways are only open from 4-10pm CST. Good luck everyone and have fun!

KIDS EAT FREE! YoHo Graphix 4 Me!

2010-08-06T14:57:00.000-05:00

YoHo Graphix 4 Me did a fabulous Happy Hour give-away on TLB Facebook yesterday. The PeaceLoveBreastfeeding wall decal was a huge hit and lots of fun. Lisa, the WAHM behind YoHo Graphix has also been putting a free downloadable breastfeeding related digital embroidery designs on her Ice Mudd blog every day during World Breastfeeding Week. I heart today's.

So with all that you'd think Lisa would be done. But no. She's got a TGIF Kids Eat Free give-away! Get inspired with a YoHo Graphix 4 me wall decal design featuring a line from The Road Less Traveled by American poet, Robert Frost.

To be entered into the random drawing for this give away...

Comment on this post after you've visited the YoHo Graphix 4 Me Etsy and tell me what your favorite product there is.

For an additional entry, share this give away on a social networking site such as FaceBook, Twitter or a parenting board (Not TLB forums) and let us know how you shared it in another comment.

And for one more entry go "like" YoHo Graphix 4 Me on Facebook and leave a new comment with "I like YoHoGraphix 4 Me!"

The give away will close Saturday evening. Have fun and good luck!

***************************************************************************************************************

This Give-Away Is Now Closed!
Thanks to YoHo Graphix 4 Me and everyone that entered.

The winner is Amber! Lisa, from YoHo Graphix has your e-mail address and will be in touch with you to get your shipping address. Congrats and enjoy! Oh, and once you get your wall decal, we'd love to see some action shots!

World Breastfeeding Week- TGIF!

2010-08-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

Random, funny French ad using breastfeeding to sell their beer.
B@@bs are used to sell beer all the time these days but it sure doesn't look like that now!

Squiggle Bug doesn't believe in sleep any more. At 2.5 years old she has figured out how to run on pure energy. I'm jealous. I haven't had time to really do my own blogging. Because, seriously, I have to at least attempt to sleep once in a while even if Squiggle Bug is dead-set against The Piano Man or I actually getting to sleep.

This blog carnival is intended to be open minded and thoughtful, to encourage dialogue and view breastfeeding from all different perspectives and experiences and I secretly (now not-so-secretly) hope that will be a spring board for viewing and discussing the rest of life. It's also supposed to have funny moments. Don't think there is much room for humor when it comes to breastfeeding? Check the blog name. Only someone that has never has sported two wet circles perfectly positioned on the chest of their top with milk that came from their own body or has never had a baby dive-bomb their chest with an open mouth or had a toddler screaming "MY BOOBIE!" could think that. Trust me, there is room for humor. There has to be. It's a carnival hosted by The Leaky B@@b and if The Leaky B@@b can't do humor well then, we're screwed.

Talk about a perspective! A really kind Leaky shared this photo with me to demonstrate how she tandem feeds her twins while co-sleeping.

So I finally got something out. There are so many different perspectives I could give on breastfeeding so I shared 4. And just so you know, if you know me in real life and you bring up any of those perspectives I will deny every. single. one. Except for the Easter dress poop one, I photographic evidence of that.

Other blogs today have a wide spectrum of perspectives, visit and let them know you're stopping by from The Leaky B@@b checking out different perspectives on breastfeeding.

Perspectives: When "Natural" =/= "Easy"- I knew I'd love this post from the first two lines. "Hi, my name is Star, and I used to think breastfeeding was disgusting. I like to think of myself as a breastfeeding success story." When Star isn't chasing her toddler or nursing her infant, she works as a peer breastfeeding counselor, blogs, and spends time with her fiance. She blogs here.

The Joys of Breastfeeding Past Infancy #17- Once again, NursingFreedom.org brings a charming and informative post to the carnival. NursingFreedom.org was cofounded by Dionna of Code Name: Mama and Paige of Baby Dust Diaries. NursingFreedom.org is dedicated to normalizing breastfeeding and advocating for breastfeeding rights. Please follow NursingFreedom.org on its Facebook page to connect with other mamas who are passionate about breastfeeding advocacy.

Postpartum OCD Part 2 of 2: The Mom Who Couldn't Stop Logging- Postpartum depression, breastfeeding difficulties and OCD, Anne invites us to journey deeper into her experience, sharing a perspective as debilitating as it is hopeful. Dou-la-la is written by Anne, doula-in-training, birth advocate and a moderately crunchy mother.

Breastfeeding and Early Intervention- A professional that works with children birth to age three in her state’s Early Intervention program, Susan gives us her perspective working with the families in need of her program's services. A mom of 7 children, she provides support to families with special needs children drawing on her training and her own personal experience with Early Intervention for 3 of her own children. She has enjoyed the roller coaster of different breastfeeding adventures with all of 7 of her kids and is currently nursing her youngest. Susan blogs at My Breastfeeding Journey.

Our guest post today talks about breastfeeding and one's faith and how this influenced one mom of 3. I hope you enjoy The Way of The B@@b from Jessi, an American Taoist living in China doing her best to parent her children naturally.

There are still give-aways going on and even some more to come: Kate Hansen prints and PumpEase Prize Pack.

Amber submitted this drawing done by her 8 year old step-daughter Kate and had this to share about it.

"[This] is of a woman sitting in a chair breast feeding her child and being happy about it.

Kate was very curious about when I started breastfeeding her siblings, and asked a lot of questions about how and why. When her mother had another child this year Kate told her very matter of factly, that her new sister should have the "Boobie Juices" cause that was what is good for the baby, and not those phooey bottles.

Kate is very proud to tell people that babies should have breast milk and that our 2 kids have it making them really smart.

She is very smart herself, and she cracks me up!"

The Way of the B@@b

2010-08-06T10:33:00.000-05:00

For our WBW blog carnival on "Perspectives: Breastfeeding From Every Angle" we are pleased to host guest posts from various contributors. Today we hear the Taoists perspective on breastfeeding from Jessi, originally one of The Leaky B@@b regular contributors and partner.

Everyone's motivations for breastfeeding are unique to themselves, but there are certain commonalities for most. Health benefits, frugality, and convenience generally top this list and for good reason. All three are incorporated in my personal reasons for breastfeeding, but unlike most, none of them are the most important reason to me. Unlike most, the biggest motivating factor for me is philosophical, or a more relatable term, religious.

Our family is Taoist. Over the years, I've learned that Taoism is not very widely known or understood. Unlike it's more commonly acknowledged "brother" Buddhism, Taoism isn't even a household word. Before I met my husband, even I admittedly was ignorant to this ancient philisophical system.

In short, Taoism is named after Tao (道), which literally translates as "the way". The main texts of Taoism are the Tao Te Ching (道德经) by Lao Zi and the works of Zhuang Zi. I always find it difficult to give a succint explanation of Taoism because outside of the basic principles, it gets very complex and VERY open to personal interpretation, but the fundamental is this:

Nature is the ideal example of the Tao. If you bring your life into harmony with the ways of the natural universe you will be enlightened and at peace.

Obviously, under this main belief there is a lot of sub-declarations that are more specific but the basic idea is pretty much just that.

What this means in reference to my choices as a mother become a bit more obvious once you are aware that Taoism dictates that you pursue the path of the most natural choices and it really does not get much more organic and natural than nourishing my children from the very body that nutured and grew them from the moment they were created. Being Taoist effects and enriches and influences so many aspects of my parenting life, but breastfeeding is one of the most effected. It adds another facet to an already beautiful bonding experience. Of course, any experience in our life is made that much more meaningful when it had a relation to our faith, whatever path you walk.

I could not imagine my life without my breastfeeding experiences. My oldest son nursed until 21 months and probably would have gone longer, but I was 4 months pregnant with twins and my supply suffered and he lost interest when the well ran dry. And now, nursing twins, which is a whole other journey, just seems natural and comfortable. No measuring formula, mixing and warming bottles, no climbing out of bed in the middle of the night to prepare night feedings. I just roll over to whichever side of me is making the noise and drift back to sleep while the hungry baby fills their tummy and then does the same.

Convenient, easy and lets me sleep as much as possible. Damn, Mother Nature knows what she's doing!